How do women feel about pts that only want female RN's?

Specialties MICU

Published

Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."

So, I was happy to get another assignment the next day. Which brings me to my question. The manager said that she would just assign women there (which I was totally fine with), and all the female nurses rolled their eyes and said "Please, please don't assign me there! Good, that's annoying."

Is your day shot when you here one of your pts only wants female nurses?

Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.

I find it interesting that females refuse males due to modesty issues but not so much the other way around. What would happen if males would say they didn't feel comfortable with the hot young female nurse touching their privates? Are males inherently less private than females? Or is it just a matter of biases and expectations?

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I was recently hospitalized and requested my female nurse to remove my catheter (rather than the male tech). My decision was primarily based on my respect for my husband who was nearby and watching. I just thought it would be weird for him. If I had been alone I don't think it would have made a difference to me. My female nurse was not happy about my request and called in the charge nurse which I thought was really strange at the time.

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Specializes in ED, Critical Care.
Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."

LOL.. Nurture! LOL!! Lady I'm not hear to Nurture.

Only time I can remember a female not wanting me to "nurture" them was as a student in OB.

That said, I fully respect any genders reasons for wanting the same gender to care for them. Usually in the ED my "ladies" will ask for assistance with A hole males that think any and all females want to lay with them.

The Nurture thing, man thats funny. Caring, I've been told I have been more caring than female coworkers. Must be my charming personality! :woot:

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

Re: no atheists.....apparently sarcasm doesn't play well in writing.

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Re: no atheists.....apparently sarcasm doesn't play well in writing.

I understood immediately CCM! I guess that's because I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. ;)

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
If it were any old patient saying this, I would just chuckle, take a moment to feel sorry for that patient's loss of a kick-ass nurse, and then move on. I didn't become a nurse to make patients like or accept me, I became a nurse to help people because I care about people.

But you are not any old patient, because I see from your other posts that you are in a position of power over other nurses. If your little statement at the end there is accurate and not a joke, then you are a bigot, and you have no business in the profession, let alone in management.

Really? I was trying to make a point. As ridiculous as it is to say no to a nurse because of their race or gender, so, too, would it be ridiculous to say no to a nurse because of their religion. Yikes

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A couple months ago there was an article about a father of a newborn didn't want to have african american nurses take care of his baby and the hospital placed a note on the chart that only white nurses were allowed to care for the baby. So an african american nurse sued the hospital. Here is the article: Nurse sues after hospital grants dad's racial request Wouldn't it be the same situation here. The male nurse is being discriminated against and the manager is allowing only female nurses to care for the woman. Should he sue the hospital for discrimination? or is it because it is a gender issue and not a race issue?

If every nurse who was discriminated against filed a lawsuit what would healthcare be like?

Nope. I don't think you can cry discrimination in healthcare (as a professional). As a nurse we come across all walks of life and we need to be strong and remember it's not about us, it's about the patient. The sick person. The scared person. If that sick, scared person doesn't want me to touch their body that's their right. Whether it be discomfort, modesty, religious beliefs, gender or race biased.

I don't agree with that father and his bigotry but it's his right to say who touches his child ( I always wondered what the mother thought/said about that).

Besides, forcing a nurse upon someone not only compromises the patient-nurse relationship but it could cause a stressful or even dangerous situation for the nurse (false complaints, verbal abuse etc)

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Specializes in CCRN, ED, Unit Manager.
If every nurse who was discriminated against filed a lawsuit what would healthcare be like?

Nope. I don't think you can cry discrimination in healthcare (as a professional). As a nurse we come across all walks of life and we need to be strong and remember it's not about us, it's about the patient. The sick person. The scared person. If that sick, scared person doesn't want me to touch their body that's their right. Whether it be discomfort, modesty, religious beliefs, gender or race biased.

I don't agree with that father and his bigotry but it's his right to say who touches his child ( I always wondered what the mother thought/said about that).

Besides, forcing a nurse upon someone not only compromises the patient-nurse relationship but it could cause a stressful or even dangerous situation for the nurse (false complaints, verbal abuse etc)

Besides, the issue in that case isn't the fact that black nurses couldn't care for the child. It was the facility posting a racial sign, lol.

As for my answer... I'm growing less tolerant of it. Although it's rare I have far less tolerance for discriminating against people for their gender, race, etc.

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Let me begin by saying this is sexual discrimination of the facility if they switch assignments to please the patient or their family. I hope anyone that has this happen to them files an EOC complaint. Patients come into the hospital to get treated. If they are well enough to be dictate such request then maybe they should be evaluated for a different level of care. Healthcare continues to become more customer satisfaction driven than quality care drive. Payors both private and federal funded ( free health care) base payments on whether patient got to choose the type jelly for their toast. Patients should be more concerned with the competency of the healthcare individual than their sex, race or religion. As a male nurse, I have been confronted with this very experience, and professionally I informed I have the same qualifications as my female peers and would be continuing my shift as assigned. We need to stop allowing patients and families dictate such petty request.

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Specializes in FNP-BC, MedSurg, GeroPsych, ICU/Stepdown, clinic.

About the post about no athiests... It was definitely sarcasm, and wow, talk about no sense of humor folks, and sad that people still don't get it and keep on and on and on commenting about it. On the main topic: I have had people refuse to have a male nurse before and truthfully, I didn't mind going along with their request at all. If they are that worried about the gender, race, religion, etc. of the person to take care of their medical needs, then they are not sick enough to be in the hospital in the first place. Someone that is really sick could care less about any of those things. If a family member is the one asking such a thing, you probably don't want them as a patient anyway. You would probably get accused of something negative anyway.

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You old fashioned hypocrite, I hope that female nurse request is competent. I would hate (sarcastic ) if you die waiting for the female requested. DARN a loss of a sexist bigot!!

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Sorry you feel this way, it is discrimination if an assignment is changed based on gender, race ect... We need to take our hospitals back and stop letting them be resorts with selected room service. If patients are sick enough to be in an acute setting, be happy they have a caregiver, a clean bed and food.

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