How do women feel about pts that only want female RN's?

[hodgieRN]

Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."

So, I was happy to get another assignment the next day. Which brings me to my question. The manager said that she would just assign women there (which I was totally fine with), and all the female nurses rolled their eyes and said "Please, please don't assign me there! Good, that's annoying."

Is your day shot when you here one of your pts only wants female nurses?

[rumwynnieRN]

I think it's annoying. I'm a female nurse, and yeah, I get the whole, "We prefer females/males because of modesty/sorry-i-feel-weird-you-touching-my-junk," but the latter? I'd be happy I don't have to take care of them, but it would still rub me the wrong way. Females are more caring that males? What is that suppose to mean? I know some terrible female ICU nurses who say they're busy taking care of their pt who requires total care, but who sit at the computer planning their next trip.

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

A couple months ago there was an article about a father of a newborn didn't want to have african american nurses take care of his baby and the hospital placed a note on the chart that only white nurses were allowed to care for the baby. So an african american nurse sued the hospital. Here is the article: Nurse sues after hospital grants dad's racial request Wouldn't it be the same situation here. The male nurse is being discriminated against and the manager is allowing only female nurses to care for the woman. Should he sue the hospital for discrimination? or is it because it is a gender issue and not a race issue?

[MunoRN, RN]

I'm not going to put up a fight to keep a patient who assumes that any female Nurse will be more "nurturing" than I. Although you could argue she's right because I'm secretly going to hope that she gets one of our many female Nurses for whom the term "nurturing" is far from one of the terms you'd use to describe them.

And I'm still trying to figure out if the "no atheists" thing was a joke.

[caringfornurses]

I think that many patients perceive men as more caring. We have 3 male nurses and 2 male CNAs on our unit. We have 35 female nurses and CNAs. The funny thing is how often the patients comment how great the males are compared to the females. It is completely amazing! I am not sure what they do differently. I guess think like a man, but the patients love each and every one of them. They are great nurses. I certainly would not mind them taking care of me (unless I needed a catheter or something) just because i know them. They are kind, caring and professional. I am proud to work with such great male nurses.

[Mully]

My two cents:

Comments like that from patients/family members are an immediate indication that there are priorities OTHER THAN the medical well-being of the patient, and that will probably be a challenge, to say the least.

When patients currently dealing with a medical crisis throw around the "caring" card ... again, that tells me that there are psychological issues in play, as it tends to mean that the patient has very specific, often codependent, wants/needs.

You said this perfectly! I'm betting this is why the other nurses didn't want to take this patient too, because obviously we're dealing with psych issues here.

I never mind switching for dignity issues. I'm a young male, and if I'm assigned a young female that needs a decent amount of personal care, or a young-middle aged female with any type of psych issues, I'll suggest a switch. It's only wise. Strictly professional.

[Stranded55]

I have known male co-workers who love to assume that certain patients would only want a female nurse. Check with the patient and respect their answer.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I wouldn't care but we don't assign based on gender, but i have had a pt that was muslim be assigned to a male nurse and i would go help her in the bathroom. she was grateful. there is no reason we can't help each other out if there are some things that would make a pt more comfortable. and some of our male nurses don't feel comfortable putting foleys in women . That is fine i will do it for them if i have the time. otherwise we have extra nurses that walk around each shift specifically to help where there is a need............perfect solution. i think its hogwash about nurturing........you just roll your eyes and say 'oh boy' more than thankful to pass that off.

[Kabin]

I think it makes sense as long as the pt is consistent with refusing male docs, CNAs, respiratory therapists, etc. Gotta wonder how the hospital would respond to that.

[InformaticsRN.MA]

I feel bad for the patient and family for having that bias - to generalize that all female nurses are more caring than all male nurses. How sad to have such a limited worldview. As the nurse caring for that patient, I would try to educate them if they were making those sort of comments in my presence.

On the other hand, I feel if a patient requests a female care giver and it is feasible, it is the resposibility of the hospital to meet that request. But does this patient request only female doctors care for her? I doubt it.

My husband is an x-ray tech and he has been told that there are some hospitals that have only female techs do certain procedures - whether the patient is female or male. I think that's ridiculous. As a female myself, I generally prefer female PCP's and OB's and will choose a female myself ahead of time if possible. But if I were in a hospital I wouldn't prejudge a doctor, nurse, or other person ahead of time - I have met great male doctors, and worked with some very mediocre female nurses over the years. I think you have to wait to have a conversation with someone before evaluating their ability to care for you. If I needed something like a bed bath I'd want a female, other than that gender is a nonfactor.

[christyness, BSN]

The last time I was in the hospital, I would have been happy if anyone had come in to help me out.

I don't care what the person's gender is as long as they are competent. However, I don't want any athiests taking care of me.

If it were any old patient saying this, I would just chuckle, take a moment to feel sorry for that patient's loss of a kick-ass nurse, and then move on. I didn't become a nurse to make patients like or accept me, I became a nurse to help people because I care about people.

But you are not any old patient, because I see from your other posts that you are in a position of power over other nurses. If your little statement at the end there is accurate and not a joke, then you are a bigot, and you have no business in the profession, let alone in management.

[Elsa B.]

In regards to the person that said they wouldn't want any atheists caring for them: What can you do as a nurse if your patient asks you what your religion is/do you go to church/etc. ? Any good suggestions on diverting the situation?

[christyness, BSN]

1. A little humor - "Now, Mr. So-and-so, you know there's no politics and religion at work! Are you tryin' to get me in trouble?" This approach depends a lot on the patient's personality, the situation, etc.

2. Redirect - make it about the patient again. "I am not religious, though I can see your faith is important to you and helps you. What can we do facilitate your religious practice while you are in the hospital?" Except maybe not so officious sounding, lol.

3. Find some common ground (which is my favorite, personally, as I think it nearly always exists). For instance, I had a patient say the other day, "I can tell you're a believer, aren't you?" She was reading the Bible, so I just said with a smile, "I'm not religious, but I do love Ecclesiastes chapter 3. What's your favorite passage?" We talked for a few minutes, I did my assessment, and there was no problem at all between us.