The 1st hell year the same for men?

[PapaBearRN]

I've heard and seen in clinicals that nurses eat their young and that the first year or so many nurses have extremely low self confidence, are always crying, and feel bullied in a sense. Did any of you male RNs feel the same way about your first year? Thank you!

[Jasel, BSN, RN]

After becoming an LPN I'd have to say my first year wasn't too bad. I'm about a month and a half into my first RN job in the ER. So far so good. Honestly I do think being a male helped when I was an LPN. I'm sure it has helped in the ER some but there is a lot of teamwork there, not to mention they hire new grads and a lot of the nurses working there started out as new grads.

[SubaruRN]

I have been a nurse for 3 years and im 25 now. When I on my internal med floor for our trauma 1 center most of the staff was awesome. There really was only one instance where I had a problem with how my orientation was handled but its fine now. Especially with these patients and the ratios I literally felt thrown into the fire for a few months but once you figure it out at about 7 months you can have a lot more fun with the work.

After about a year on the floor I am now training several new RNs to the floor and I am in the reversed role.

It is kind of interesting when you are teaching people in some cases considerably older than you.

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

I've heard and seen in clinicals that nurses eat their young and that the first year or so many nurses have extremely low self confidence, are always crying, and feel bullied in a sense. Did any of you male RNs feel the same way about your first year? Thank you!

No. None of that. I certainly got rattled, showed frustration, and anger at times, but never felt tearful or bullied.

Not that I wasn't bullied, I just refused to feel bad about it. Classroom and clinical instructors have you for the time you are in their program. They run the show, you dance. After graduation, it's "Smell ya later" and you are out of there.

If you try to buck this or wallow in the unfairness of it, you will have low self confidence and cry a lot.

[WesClinicRN, MSN, NP]

I've been a nurse for right at 4 1/2 years. While I was in nursing school, I worked as an aide on a medsurg (Medical Surgical) floor. When I got out of school, naturally, I just stayed on the same floor, and after a short orientation (too short), started taking patients as a RN. Well, the problem was that the aides that I had worked with.. well, mainly one that was older than me, tried to treat me the same as a RN as when I was an aide. She wouldn't help me with my patients and told me on multiple occasions that I could handle it.... Of course, that is with having to hand out any meds, do my assessments, and handle any other nursing skills that might need doing. Plus, I had to deal with the other nurses treating me like I was still just an aide, wouldn't help me with patients (made me do all the heavy lifting alone for the most part), and definitely treated me with contempt and dislike. I left that unit and went to another hospital to work on a comparable medsurg floor, went through a much more thorough orientation with a wonderful, very experienced nurse, and enjoyed the job much better there. The second hospital that I worked at not only had a much better, more organized work environment, but the nurses all worked together as a team and would not let another nurse fail. If help was needed, it was given to improve the quality of nursing care for the whole unit, not just certain patients.

This just goes to show you that is not always just you when there are multiple problems, sometimes there can a multiple system breakdown that affects multiple functions of the floor. Yes, my first year was horrible. Part of it was my inexperience, lack of time-management skills, and difficulty with handling extreme stress (who doesn't), but part of it had to do with the fact that I started out working on a floor in a hospital that has a history of discriminating against employees because of their experience, race, sex, and sexual orientation. And this is not from just hearsay or a friend of a friend. This is from experience over time and multiple recorded accounts. So, just be careful to cya and as I have heard others say, don't always trust the people around you to tell them too much. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, listen twice as much (or more) than you speak. Since being in a better environment (and I have moved on since that second nursing job), I haven't really had a bad experience since. Who knows, maybe working in a bad area to start with made me appreciate the good jobs and good managers so much more than usual.

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

I've heard and seen in clinicals that nurses eat their young and that the first year or so many nurses have extremely low self confidence, are always crying, and feel bullied in a sense. Did any of you male RNs feel the same way about your first year? Thank you!

My 1st year was decades ago, and even way way back I never had the problems you described. Gross exaggeration. Bullies and manipulator can be found in any field.

Nurses like eating pizza, not their young.

[Concerto_in_C, BSN, RN]

Nursing is and has allways been a female frat society and you will always be treated as an outsider and have unique challenges fitting in.

I've heard various hypotheses about how being a man allegedly helps you. I don't believe it does, but being competent, offering help when others are overwhelmed, treating others well, and staying away from unit wars will help you keep your job, even if you're not popular.

Another problem is men are steered towards "manly" units like ER which are supposedly more suitable to their temper and their gender, but those happen to be some of the most stressful units to work in.

[exit96]

after my first 6 months, one thing I absolutely learned was NEVER trust anyone too soon and don't talk anything that will give the females to talk about. I am no sexist, but even the females of my age will say that they can never trust the women. I noticed where women gathered at work, someone's name always pops out and they begin to talk smack. I am at a new place, and I sure for hell won't trust anyone or give them anything to talk about. I think silent people in nursing are very smart and wise.

Hmmm, interesting. In social circles I always say that "I don't trust quiet, shy, people..." BUT on the floor in Nursing, your point is taken, and I AGREE. Good Advice :-)

[Yoda.RN]

For all you new guys:

The first year of nursing is tough because it's your adjustment period. The great thing about nursing, for me anyway, has been the exposure to so many people under stress. I love it: I have learned more about people in the 5 years I have been a nurse than I think people who aren't in healthcare learn in a lifetime. Women are different than men, they are not your buddy. Healthcare is also the first place I've met the type of guy who isn't gay but isn't one of the guys either. Keep your opinions to yourself. Be friendly to everyone and enjoy your buddies. Don't be a dick.

I really have only 3 rules:

1. Keep your mouth shut: Honestly just don't talk about people to other people and you'll be fine. When I say people I mean everyone even your patients; stop talking about your patients. They can you hear you by the way; your voice carries down that hall. Don't ever complain about anything: never. If you want to "complain" you better have a solution figured out and willing to take it to the end. If you open your mouth it means action follows. If you're ever involved in an incident that legally requires you to talk to someone about somebody you only involve those who need to know. Everyone else can go back to work.

2. Display confidence. Know your **** and do your job the way it's supposed to be done: this is where confidence comes from. Read. Certifications. Keep track of everything you do: CEUs, etc. Maintain an up to date resume at all times. You have to have confidence in all aspects of your life to actually display genuine confidence which is really about discipline and that is hard to teach. Keep your financial life healthy. You want confidence: You walk different when you aren't in debt and have money in the bank.

3. Be a man. Be confident. Enjoy the respect it demands and be respectful of your fellow human beings. Eat bacon.

You may have heard that saying that goes something like, "women say they want you to tell you their feelings but when you do they end up leaving you". This is true for everyone. What people really want is a leader. Leaders don't have problems to have feelings about; they have solutions.

Best of luck.

[LPN_FTW]

after my first 6 months, one thing I absolutely learned was NEVER trust anyone too soon and don't talk anything that will give the females to talk about. I am no sexist, but even the females of my age will say that they can never trust the women. I noticed where women gathered at work, someone's name always pops out and they begin to talk smack. I am at a new place, and I sure for hell won't trust anyone or give them anything to talk about. I think silent people in nursing are very smart and wise.

I won't disagree with you there. I'd like to offer a look inside *some* women's heads: When I bring up another worker's name, I do it with the intent on sharing and brain storming best approach. For example, that care aide that spends too much time chatting... Is she always this chatty? What approach should we take to keep her on track without being hardasses or coming off as a B?

Then again, I work with a lot of women who like to complain about other people just to complain about them. Keeps them happy, I guess. I'm not innocent, I'm right there engaged in the conversation, though my stance is more "they probably did that because _____." I'm an enabler and I make excuses for everyone :|