"Male Problems" while nursing female - page 6

How do you handle yourself if you have "Enzyte induced engorgement" while working with a female patient? I had this happen once while working in the ER doing an EKG. Does this happen to others? ... Read More

  1. by   jov
    Quote from earle58
    this seems pretty common amongst you guys.
    this is not common amongst us females.
    Leslie, you are missing the point. The point is physiological arousal can happen in the absence of psychological arousal. Meaning, the guy wasn't trying to cop a feel but the penis reacted anyway. Hate to inform you but women's bodies work the same way. Haven't you ever heard of the guilt a victim gets when she realized her body was reacting in the middle of a rape?

    You may profess "i am just so relieved that all my treaters are female." All I can say is when I came into ER in hypovolemic shock I could have cared less if my treaters were male or female. Just save my d@*# life.
  2. by   melpn
    Untuck your shirt?
  3. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from dawg07
    Loose scrubs, untucked top, powders and appropriate undergarments. Professonal demeanor, and recognition that none of us can control every reaction that our body throws at us, but we can be prepared to try and cope with it.
    That was a very sensible post.

    Thank you.
  4. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from jov
    Leslie, you are missing the point. The point is physiological arousal can happen in the absence of psychological arousal. Meaning, the guy wasn't trying to cop a feel but the penis reacted anyway. Hate to inform you but women's bodies work the same way. Haven't you ever heard of the guilt a victim gets when she realized her body was reacting in the middle of a rape?

    You may profess "i am just so relieved that all my treaters are female." All I can say is when I came into ER in hypovolemic shock I could have cared less if my treaters were male or female. Just save my d@*# life.
    i'm fully aware of the mechanisms of physiologic arousal and understand that it isn't always synonymous with sexual arousal.
    but comparing a rape victim, which is still a hyperarousal state, is not comparing apples to apples.
    but to say that we women, possess the same physiologic and/or sexual responses as men? are you speaking quantitatively?
    i am just learning through this thread, that erections occur w/o any notable stimulators or rather, r/t nothing "remotely suggestive".
    so while i do feel for you guys ( ), it has been an eye-opener for me.

    and yes, because of personal experiences that compel me to seek female treaters, this thread has served to exacerbate my perpetual fears- even knowing it's not a blame game.

    i don't believe i ever referenced what i would do in an emergent situation.
    any statements i have made, have been gen'l in nature.

    leslie
  5. by   Altra
    This has been educational.

    Personally, if I am in need of medical care it doesn't matter to me one bit whether the people treating me are male or female. I care about their listening skills, their clinical competence and hope that we can establish a good rapport. And if I'm unconscious, not even that matters.

    If a male clinician ever has a "private moment" while caring for me, I really don't care -- it's just hormone X producing physiological response Y. I don't wanna know.
  6. by   olderthandirt
    earle58 said " i am just learning through this thread, that erections occur w/o any notable stimulators or rather, r/t nothing "remotely suggestive".
    so while i do feel for you guys ( ), it has been an eye-opener for me".

    I once had a guy shake my hand and he had a full blown erection? What is the common thread, not knowing if or when a reaction might take place. You just do the best you can.
  7. by   58flyer
    Quote from earle58
    i'm fully aware of the mechanisms of physiologic arousal and understand that it isn't always synonymous with sexual arousal.
    but comparing a rape victim, which is still a hyperarousal state, is not comparing apples to apples.
    but to say that we women, possess the same physiologic and/or sexual responses as men? are you speaking quantitatively?
    i am just learning through this thread, that erections occur w/o any notable stimulators or rather, r/t nothing "remotely suggestive".
    so while i do feel for you guys ( ), it has been an eye-opener for me.

    and yes, because of personal experiences that compel me to seek female treaters, this thread has served to exacerbate my perpetual fears- even knowing it's not a blame game.

    i don't believe i ever referenced what i would do in an emergent situation.
    any statements i have made, have been gen'l in nature.

    leslie
    Leslie,
    It's good to know that you understand the difference between physiologic arousal and sexual arousal. That said, why would all this, as you said, exacerbate your perpetual fears? If a male treater has experienced physiologic arousal, you are probably not going to know it anyway. He is not going to broadcast it to everyone in sight. Most men can hide it reasonably well.

    I don't recall if you have ever posted why your personal experiences have led you to fear care by male treaters, and I have not taken the time to root through your past posts. Chances are that someone did something they had no business doing, and I think I can relate to your fears if that's what happened. Since you know that erections are a reality of the male sex, why would anything said here increase your opposition to treatment by male providers?

    What would you do in an emergent situation? That can happen to any of us at any time.
    Last edit by 58flyer on Sep 25, '06
  8. by   leslie :-D
    hey flyerman,

    no, i never shared my personal trauma but female treaters shall remain.
    in an emergent situation, i would think my preferences would be waived.
    but who knows?
    if i was conscious and i saw a man w/a foley coming towards me?
    it bears repeating, i'm a horrible pt.
    i would hate caring for someone like me.

    as for the newfound knowledge of physiologic erections, it just feeds into my paranoia.
    obviously there is no intellectual rationale but an erection is an erection is an erection, to someone w/my hx.

    male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.
    it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

    leslie
  9. by   jov
    Quote from earle58
    comparing a rape victim, which is still a hyperarousal state, is not comparing apples to apples.
    leslie
    I do not understand this. Are you saying, that because a rape victim is in the "fight or flight" state of arousal, that physiological sexual arousal is MORE LIKELY to occur?
  10. by   dougRN2BE
    Quote from earle58

    male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.
    it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

    leslie
    WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

    Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

    :uhoh21:
  11. by   rn/writer
    Originally Posted by earle58

    male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.
    it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

    leslie
    Quote from dougRN2BE
    WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

    Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

    :uhoh21:
    I wonder if you have read the entire thread. If not, it might be difficult to view leslie's comment in context.

    I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but my take on what she said is that, unfortunate though it may be, men in nursing are going to find some resistance FROM PATIENTS, not officially sanctioned barriers from employers. And that they will save themselves (and possibly their patients) a lot of unnecessary aggravation if they don't make such situations personal.

    In some fields, consumer-generated resistance can be dealt with rather firmly. In healthcare, gender preferences can be gently investigated, but because of the intimate nature of some kinds of care, I doubt that anyone would force a practitioner of the opposite sex on someone who really didn't want that.

    Sexism against male nurses would be making judgments linking ability to gender and assuming a man can't do the job. Expressing a preference for a female caregiver based on prior history and a desire to feel safe is about the patient, not about the male nurse.
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from dougRN2BE
    WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

    Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

    :uhoh21:
    as miranda suggested, you really need to read the thread (or more specifically, my posts) in its' entirety, before basing your conclusions.

    what i am proposing, is (too) many females have remarkable histories involving some type of male assault.
    whether it's an isolated rape case or yrs of sexual abuse, it's a stark reality and it's pervasive.
    it will not be the least bit unusual, to (unknowingly) encounter female pts with aforementioned histories.
    in the event a female pt requests a female nurse, there is a darned good possibility it is r/t a traumatic past.
    it may not even be r/t trauma, but maybe it's religious or cultural.
    we don't know unless the pt chooses to disclose their reasons.
    whatever the patient's reasons are, it's not about you or your competencies.
    it is not the time to take it personally.
    you just do not know why one is fearful and/or blatantly against care being provided by a nurse of the opposite sex.
    moreover, even though i can intellectually acknowledge that a male nurse is equally as competent as their female counterparts, my emotional scars will supersede any 'rational' thought process.
    if one can't understand that, then a major disservice is being passed to the pt.
    the bottom line is always about the pt, and what will best facilitate their road to recovery.
    and we all know that holistic care- mind, body, spirit- is what will heal our pts most meaningfully and appreciably.

    leslie
  13. by   dougRN2BE
    We shouldn't assume that because someone has a difference of interpretation or opinion that it is a result of not reading the post.

    I acknowledge your points and see validity in them. I'll bow out of the conversation so as not to derail the thread.

    Cheers,
    Doug
    Last edit by dougRN2BE on Sep 25, '06

close