gonzo1 (14,616 Views)
Joined Jun 8, '05.
Posts: 1,642 (44% Liked)
Yes, I've encountered this experience on numerous occasions. And in 10 years of nursing, it's only been from black Americans from the same region that I'm from. I've never understood it, because it IS RUDE.
I believe many people are afraid to even mention race, but yes, it is racism.
I've served communities where it was obvious that the initial difficulties I've had establishing a relationship with the patient are because I am white. It doesn't last long though, because it truly isn't personal. And I am pretty awesome 😂
My strategy has been to let go of my negative reaction to someone being rude by not acknowledging my presence (nurses are still human). I carry on as if they are a part of the conversation and not being weird and rude. I try to make a connection somehow, beyond the task at hand, and lighten everyone up a little. I call them "my little ray of sunshine" (that always gets them to crack a smile, because they know they're being an a**hole).
Some of my most memorable and deepest patient connections have started this way. And let me tell you, some of the BEST home cooked food routinely comes my way 😜
I was the same as you, 5'2", petite & blonde when I first went into corrections. But looks have zero to do with it. Inmates will tell anyone they are attractive to get what they want.
I agree with much of what has already been said. You may seem mature for your age (honestly, my 19 yo self was not that far from my 22 yo self so....) but there is a lot of self-reflection and open-mindedness missing from your skill set. So much in nursing requires you to keep a straight, non-judgmental face when you hear the things people are going to want to tell you. This is going to make providing objective care very difficult from you and soon you will be complaining about how nursing isn't for you and NETY and all the above if you keep walking around with that stick up your butt.
I get it. I was also a Christian for a very, VERY long time (major emphasis on the "was"). However, it made me a square and my worldview was very narrow and needed to be changed pronto if I was going to successfully transition to adulthood. Tolerance is a big issue in nursing -- you have to put up with a lot from people that will not align with your personal values. Oh well. It is what it is. You can learn to be a part of the conversation and not judge and still maintain your faith and values. It's an art to be learned but it's possible to get on with others well and make friends. Just loosen up, ignore what other people are doing and just be yourself. If people don't like you for that then they aren't your crowd. Just try it. Drop the "I'm SO mature for my age" 'tude and give just being a human being a try and see how it works out.
Also, group projects suck for ALL of us.
Here's another perspective and story:
I entered nursing school at age 52...no previous degree. I had stayed isolated as a farm wife for years. I preferred it that way because life kept teaching me I didn't fit in...every time I tried things went inevitably wrong,things seemed to get botched. I raised kids, and became active in church and tried to support the kids being active in social events/activities. I homeschooled a couple of my kids, one all the way though graduation, at that child's continued choice. Looking back, I'm sure it showed to others that I was awkward, or didn't want to be there, or couldn't wait to get home. I loved my farm life and my animals. But life will be life and I entered nursing school after all of my children left the nest. I was terrified. I was by far the oldest person there, with post secondary students all around and the occasional 30 something.
But you know what, I finally found my calling. I found out that I have been a nurse my whole life, I just didn't know it. Suddenly, and believe me, it was a sudden dawning, as I listened to perspectives and stories from all of my classmates, instructors and absorbed the books, videos and clinical experiences...that for the first time in my life I did fit in, and I have all along, I was just not with my people until I met other nurses.
I am finally comfortable in my own skin, all day, everyday, no matter what I'm doing. I can hear anything, judgment free, with the perspective of a nurse...like, huh...really, there's one I never thought about before. Or, really, wow, what people go through to make them who they are is ...nothing short of miraculous and plain ol' life all rolled into one.
May you be blessed, and find yourself to be a nurse among nurses.
Hi, I started pretty young too with nursing. I got my BSN done when I was 19. Started working at 20. I'm asian which makes me look a whole lot younger (i guess). People thought i was 14 when i was actually 19. Now, im 23 but they see me as a 17y/o.
I had very few but real bonds with friends when i was in college. I just had to be myself. You dont have to be fake to be wonderful in the eyes of most of the people. I know that im goal oriented and focused on my studies and now, with my career. It was a struggle to be respected when i started working. I had to quit a job coz my CNAs were giving me a hard time. Just coz i was a new nurse doesnt mean im dumb and getting an RN license at a young age means a lot. I became tough over time and set expectations with my coworkers and me. I make sure that I get my job done and i help out as i can and tell my CNAs or my techs my expectations from them too.
As for the conversations, im very conservative but I do end up getting caught on conversations like sex, weeds, etc. I just answer them politely like "well, that's nice that you get to live with someone and get to know him a lot before you ger married and Im happy for you but i cant really say much more other than that opinion since in my culture, we cant have sex until we get married" or like laugh abt some stuff when they start really getting detailed about sex "oh my God!! You're polluting my innocent mind!! Haha"
----Awknowledge how they feel, if they're happy and responsible for themself, then go ahead and tell them but, always mention how you are with it.
I have a tech that is so resposible. Best employee ever. Always employee of the month then he confessed that he smokes weeds. I wasnt expecting that. So i said "oh, that's unexpected. I dont have a lot of good experiences arounf people who smoke weeds . But how do you feel when you smoke? (Then he opens up) well if you use it, just dont use it at work, you wouldnt want to be in trouble you know. And be sure to take care when you're driving."
---Open your mind to these realities. You dont have to be a part of them. You're already aware, you just need to be open.
---just be yourself plus be respectful. They'll love you
---im not very good with making friends but SMILE all the time. They'll approach you
Hey createddaisy. Two things I noticed that I just wanted to say I noticed you only "liked" the two people who wrote they are identical to you pretty much. You claim this wasn't a rant, yet you wrote about how you are lonely, and I felt for you and still do. But you didn't engage anyone who replied to you here in conversation except your "twin." I think you may go through most of your life lonely if you only want to relate to people with close backgrounds as you. I have a very different background, I got D's in high school and almost didn't graduate, I was in 2 foster homes, and I did things I wasn't proud of that you probably wouldn't tolerate hearing about. Now I'm very spiritual, in honors societies and the dean's honors, work in a hospital, have good friends, etc. See judging people on their past would be a mistake.
Anyway like I said I felt for you because you said you're dealing with loneliness. I don't think you'd be lonely anymore if you stopped trying to only relate to people who are "just like you" in background and exact interests! I'd be your friend online!
Not in Texas but thank you lol. I have applied for a LTC skilled unit within a hospital local to me. This job I have is quite a drive as well.
I figure I have four
Months left and it will be a year. I literally just started applying so by the time I make it to a new job I may even have a year under my belt already.
Thanks for all the advice!
First, verify that the facility policy is only 2 weeks. Mine requires 4 to keep off the do not rehire list.
Second, is there a reason not to go another 4 months? Making that first job last at least a year will give you the solid nursing basis (if you're a new grad). It generally takes about a year to get into the swing of things, and it looks better on your resume.
AL is assisted living. We are part AL and part long term sub acute. She's not on antibiotics and when i go in tomorrow if we haven't gotten an order im gonna get one cause I am scared that she will become septic
Sounds like that nurse hasn't had to use critical thinking much in her lifetime. Advocating for your confused patient is not called diagnosing a UTI. It's called critical thinking and good nursing judgement. Get a new order to straight cath the woman to get urine. Is she being treated prophylactically? Get the urine and treat her before this turns into a septic UTI and she comes to my ED with septic shock and dies 2 days later.
WOW, assault! Can you imagine living with him! If you are in Florida, forget it. Nurses are treated so poorly. We have no rights, no help, no where to turn. What a mess! Really sorry you're working in that environment. Looking for or starting a new job after 10 years would make any nurse nauseated. The general public has no idea what we go through.
I agree that the there is a tendency to be unsympathetic to narcotic pain addicts. It would be cheaper in the long run and better patient care to develop the addiction resources to treat them.
I hope to stay put. I am tired of orientation and interviewing.
Imagine how your prospective employers in the new city will look at your resume. Someone with 4 months of SNF and 7 months of Med/Surg searching for their 3rd job in under a year may rub some HR people the wrong way. Someone with 11 months of steady SNF experience seeking a new job because she's relocating looks better, IMO.
Blow their socks off at the SNF, work on the rehab unit to gain admit, wound, IV therapy experience and study up on meds and conditions typically seen on Med surg. Then make a cover letter/resume outlining how well you can manage your unit while continuing to grow your nursing and patient care knowledge. Your managers won't resent you leaving due to a relocation after giving them a full year near as much as shorting two different opportunities and will be more likely to give you glowing references.
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