Content That OCNRN63 Likes

OCNRN63, RN 38,848 Views

Joined Aug 27, '10. Posts: 7,188 (75% Liked) Likes: 27,653

Sorted By Last Like Given (Max 500)
  • Jan 21

    Hello darkness my old friend...

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Meriwhen
    This sums it up very well, IMO.

    Sorry about the intermittent internet issues, Ruby.
    Nah, it's all good. (Except that I miss some very good threads around here!) It's one of the "perks" of living on a boat. When the tide is low, the Wifi signal just goes right over our heads. We only have Wifi with high tide.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Ruby Vee
    Someone has noticed a trend with this "Nurses Eat Their Young" crap. So many people feels this way for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with nurses eating their young. In fact, the majority of bullies I've seen in my career have been newbies trying to (or succeeding in) tearing a chunk off the older nurse whom they've decided isn't NICE enough to them. We've had threads here from newbies complaining that they've been bullied because the preceptor declined to discuss her family issues with the newbie she met last week while "she talks to all her OLD friends about it!", because the preceptor declined to have lunch with the newbie, because the newbie encountered the senior nurse in the lobby at 0630 and "she never said hello" (never mind that the newbie didn't say hello, either and the senior nurse might not have even noticed her), because the newbie wasn't invited to go to the baby shower for a nurse she's never met, because the newbie was told that she needs to come to work on time and she didn't like the way she was told, because after signing multiple performance plans the newbie was terminated "for no good reason", because the newbie did not understand that adding an extra zero on an insulin dose (especially an IV insulin dose) is a really big deal and thought the preceptor was being unjustly picky in criticizing her harshly the third time in a 12-hour shift that this happened . . . the list goes on and on. Do a search for some of the threads here if you doubt me.

    Usually, there are clues in the posts as to why the poster may have difficulty in getting along with her new colleagues. Referring to them as "old dogs who can't learn new tricks," "old dinosaurs who ought to just retire and get out of my way so I can rock the ER," "mean old biter nurses" and "crusty old bats" might possibly be clues as to the identity of the REAL bullies in those situations.
    This sums it up very well, IMO.

    Sorry about the intermittent internet issues, Ruby.

  • Jan 21

    If you want to change a cultural thing in your unit, realize that it didn't get that way overnight and you're not going to change it overnight even if you're reaeeeealllly passsssionnaaaate about doing it. This is actually one use for the scientific method you had beat into you by your mean instructors.

    Start by studying. Learn what bullying is and what it is not (to coin a phrase LOL). Don't reinvent the wheel-- learn the simple techniques for turning away wrath and foiling bullies.

    Then go to observing. Data are critical before you can develop an hypothesis and a possible intervention. IS everbody a little uncivil, or are there one or two people who are the main culprits driving the tension?

    If you're the target du jour, make a plan. Enlist one coworker to stand by you and call out bad manners prn. Or if you identify a target, you stand by him/her. The bully will move on to someone else-- but now there are two people to let him/her know that the behavior is not going unnoticed and is not appreciated.

    Next year, when the next crop of new hires comes in, now there are three people who have made the commitment to demonstrate better cultural behavior. This whole thing takes time, but it can turn around a unit, and from there, an institution (if needed).

    ALL THAT SAID, I wholeheartedly agree with RubyVee and the other old bats who have seen this rodeo once or twice. If you expect bad manners, you invite them. No, this is not "Blame the victim." People pretty much get out of life what they expect. Carry yourself as a non-victim, meet bad manners with bemused smiles and not confused tears, and you'll be doing your part for better interpersonal hygiene in the workplace and elsewhere.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Emergent
    Where's Ruby? She always shows up on these threads. I hope she's okay!
    Ruby has intermittent internet issues.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from LetLoveNReasonUnite
    Maybe it's time sometime noticed a trend with this nurses eat their young crap. If so many people feel this way it cannot be an invalid feeling. I am going to be posting a video on here (as long as administration allows it) talking about this very topic. The hypocrisy of being a 'caring profession' that does this to it's young is despicable and shows a complete lack of empathy.
    Someone has noticed a trend with this "Nurses Eat Their Young" crap. So many people feels this way for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with nurses eating their young. In fact, the majority of bullies I've seen in my career have been newbies trying to (or succeeding in) tearing a chunk off the older nurse whom they've decided isn't NICE enough to them. We've had threads here from newbies complaining that they've been bullied because the preceptor declined to discuss her family issues with the newbie she met last week while "she talks to all her OLD friends about it!", because the preceptor declined to have lunch with the newbie, because the newbie encountered the senior nurse in the lobby at 0630 and "she never said hello" (never mind that the newbie didn't say hello, either and the senior nurse might not have even noticed her), because the newbie wasn't invited to go to the baby shower for a nurse she's never met, because the newbie was told that she needs to come to work on time and she didn't like the way she was told, because after signing multiple performance plans the newbie was terminated "for no good reason", because the newbie did not understand that adding an extra zero on an insulin dose (especially an IV insulin dose) is a really big deal and thought the preceptor was being unjustly picky in criticizing her harshly the third time in a 12-hour shift that this happened . . . the list goes on and on. Do a search for some of the threads here if you doubt me.

    Usually, there are clues in the posts as to why the poster may have difficulty in getting along with her new colleagues. Referring to them as "old dogs who can't learn new tricks," "old dinosaurs who ought to just retire and get out of my way so I can rock the ER," "mean old biter nurses" and "crusty old bats" might possibly be clues as to the identity of the REAL bullies in those situations.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Horseshoe
    If I owned All Nurses, I would make using the phrase "eating their young, NETY, eating their students," etc, against TOS because it's become such a trite, overused phrase used to describe anything from actually bullying to not inviting people to lunch, to valid negative feedback and constructive criticism, to not being perky, to not backing down to the actual bully (the new nurse or student), to anything the "victim" just doesn't like. It pretty much means everything and therefore, nothing.

    On another forum I visit, we are now forbidden from using the word "troll." They even have a filter to keep you from saying it, like they do for profanity. It's too bad we can't do that here with this constant whining about being "eaten." People should be forced to quit using that term as a crutch or excuse for their own overly sensitive feelings or entitlements. Real bullying happens, but it's far less common than people would have you believe. Same goes for NETY.
    For my first forty years of nursing, I saw two bullies. I'm not sure what percentage of the general population consists of bullies, but certainly there are no more bullies in nursing than anywhere else. Lately, I'm forced to admit that there are more and more bullies out there . . . but they aren't the senior nurses munching on newbies. It's the students and new grads constantly crying about bullies and how they've been "victimized". It's the newbies rushing to report their preceptors, charge nurses and other senior nurses for "picking on them", like the original poster of that other thread who went to her instructor to "report" every interaction with the senior nurse that she interpreted as "snarky". Since the OP seemed to have a major chip on her shoulder, I'm guessing there was a lot of running to the instructor. These new young bullies seem to feel that everyone should be nice to THEM, but they have no obligation to be nice to anyone else and seem to lack any idea of what "professionalism" means in the context of work relationships.

    Yes, there are bullies out there -- more bullies in the past year than I've seen in the previous 39 years. Many more bullies. But the bullies seem most likely to be the new grad or student who is most invested in FINDING bullies everywhere they look.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from NurseCard
    Assuming that this is a serious post...

    I find that the more stressful the environment, and/or the more
    saturated with females (yes I'm serious)... the more likely you
    will have nurses "eating their young", as well as any other nurse,
    new or seasoned, who opens themselves up to being easily bullied
    by having a more passive personality.

    I believe med-surge, ICU, and ER to be the worst areas for this.
    Don't look now, but your misogyny is showing.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from rlrncde1969
    Yes I read the posts and there were many times that I had multiple students following me. It isn't that big of a problem to get them helping and explain things to them. It actually would be a lot of fun, even if a little more complicated. And indeed is is joyful, if your attitude is right.
    You being the arbiter of what constitutes the "right" attitude, of course.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from rlrncde1969
    Having been a nurse for 46 years, this concept of nurses "eating their young" has disgusted me. The attitude the experienced nurse in the above situation exhibited says a lot about the kind of nurse she would be, lack of empathy, lack of ability to expand one's horizons a little and take care of any contingency. If she cannot even allow a student nurse to tag along and watch, maybe she should get into another line of work. We are all student nurses at some point, and if we want competent, caring nurses to come along and replace us when we retire, we have a responsibility to nourish them and show them how to do it right. Treating them with such disdain is not how to do that. As I raised my children, one of the joys I found was introducing the world around us to them and seeing how excited they would get with each new discovery they made exploring. It is the same with helping student nurses and new nurses. Showing them how joyful and fulfilling, and hard, nursing can be and how to truly care for their patients, how to do procedures right, easier and faster opens your own eyes to see what a wonderful blessing it is to be a nurse.
    Have you read any of the posts? She already HAD a student and a senior one at that. She let the student know that she was going to have to focus on the senior student and her needs which are entirely different from a first year student. She did the right thing. She asked the student to let her CI know about the situation. The student chose not to. If she had taken BOTH of them neither student would have had the joyful and fulfilling experience they deserved.

  • Jan 21

    Don't you feel like you're talking to a brick wall at times.

  • Jan 21

    I think NETY is taught in nursing schools these days, so new nurses come in looking for it and fully expect it to be there. New nurses are being done a grave disservice. They need to be learning how to be nurses instead of looking for monsters.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Phoenix1963
    Nurses DO eat their young. Accept that and move on. . .
    No. I will never accept that and move on.

    NETY . . . Nurses Eat Their Young . . . is a general statement meaning every freaking nurse in the universe eats their young.

    This is not true.

    There are bullies but as noted by many other posters, there are bullies in all professions and walks of life.

    But to paint all nurses as bullies who eat their young . . . is patently false and wrong.

    There isn't anything about nursing that makes people bullies.

    The bullies in nursing were bullies before they became nurses.

  • Jan 21

    And even a few posts about what to wear when I become an NP.

  • Jan 21

    Quote from Stepney
    Yes I read the post and understand what she was saying. Please don't ask questions like that. It's impolite. I was mainly addressing the overall tone of the post. We all have a responsibility to nursing students. That's what I got from my education. Also, anyone pursuing an NP/PA will know that it is almost impossible to get clinicals for the same reason many are stating. Lastly, from my experience the OP most likely was credible. She may sound unhinged, bursting with anger at everyone, but I believe her.
    Not impolite - more like incredulous

    From my experience, the whole story seemed quite selectively edited. The only direct quote was not impolite at all and the rest of the characterization was heavy on the subjective labels and seriously light on actual information.

    I agree that we have a responsibility to nursing students. It includes being as clear as possible about the limits of what we can do for them at any given time, which is exactly what the nurse did. The discourtesy occurred when the student didn't take "I can't help you right now and here's why" for an answer.


close