OCNRN63, RN 38,848 Views
Joined Aug 27, '10.
Posts: 7,188 (75% Liked)
Hello darkness my old friend...
This sums it up very well, IMO.
Sorry about the intermittent internet issues, Ruby.
Someone has noticed a trend with this "Nurses Eat Their Young" crap. So many people feels this way for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with nurses eating their young. In fact, the majority of bullies I've seen in my career have been newbies trying to (or succeeding in) tearing a chunk off the older nurse whom they've decided isn't NICE enough to them. We've had threads here from newbies complaining that they've been bullied because the preceptor declined to discuss her family issues with the newbie she met last week while "she talks to all her OLD friends about it!", because the preceptor declined to have lunch with the newbie, because the newbie encountered the senior nurse in the lobby at 0630 and "she never said hello" (never mind that the newbie didn't say hello, either and the senior nurse might not have even noticed her), because the newbie wasn't invited to go to the baby shower for a nurse she's never met, because the newbie was told that she needs to come to work on time and she didn't like the way she was told, because after signing multiple performance plans the newbie was terminated "for no good reason", because the newbie did not understand that adding an extra zero on an insulin dose (especially an IV insulin dose) is a really big deal and thought the preceptor was being unjustly picky in criticizing her harshly the third time in a 12-hour shift that this happened . . . the list goes on and on. Do a search for some of the threads here if you doubt me.
Usually, there are clues in the posts as to why the poster may have difficulty in getting along with her new colleagues. Referring to them as "old dogs who can't learn new tricks," "old dinosaurs who ought to just retire and get out of my way so I can rock the ER," "mean old biter nurses" and "crusty old bats" might possibly be clues as to the identity of the REAL bullies in those situations.
If you want to change a cultural thing in your unit, realize that it didn't get that way overnight and you're not going to change it overnight even if you're reaeeeealllly passsssionnaaaate about doing it. This is actually one use for the scientific method you had beat into you by your mean instructors.
Start by studying. Learn what bullying is and what it is not (to coin a phrase LOL). Don't reinvent the wheel-- learn the simple techniques for turning away wrath and foiling bullies.
Then go to observing. Data are critical before you can develop an hypothesis and a possible intervention. IS everbody a little uncivil, or are there one or two people who are the main culprits driving the tension?
If you're the target du jour, make a plan. Enlist one coworker to stand by you and call out bad manners prn. Or if you identify a target, you stand by him/her. The bully will move on to someone else-- but now there are two people to let him/her know that the behavior is not going unnoticed and is not appreciated.
Next year, when the next crop of new hires comes in, now there are three people who have made the commitment to demonstrate better cultural behavior. This whole thing takes time, but it can turn around a unit, and from there, an institution (if needed).
ALL THAT SAID, I wholeheartedly agree with RubyVee and the other old bats who have seen this rodeo once or twice. If you expect bad manners, you invite them. No, this is not "Blame the victim." People pretty much get out of life what they expect. Carry yourself as a non-victim, meet bad manners with bemused smiles and not confused tears, and you'll be doing your part for better interpersonal hygiene in the workplace and elsewhere.
Where's Ruby? She always shows up on these threads. I hope she's okay!
Maybe it's time sometime noticed a trend with this nurses eat their young crap. If so many people feel this way it cannot be an invalid feeling. I am going to be posting a video on here (as long as administration allows it) talking about this very topic. The hypocrisy of being a 'caring profession' that does this to it's young is despicable and shows a complete lack of empathy.
If I owned All Nurses, I would make using the phrase "eating their young, NETY, eating their students," etc, against TOS because it's become such a trite, overused phrase used to describe anything from actually bullying to not inviting people to lunch, to valid negative feedback and constructive criticism, to not being perky, to not backing down to the actual bully (the new nurse or student), to anything the "victim" just doesn't like. It pretty much means everything and therefore, nothing.
On another forum I visit, we are now forbidden from using the word "troll." They even have a filter to keep you from saying it, like they do for profanity. It's too bad we can't do that here with this constant whining about being "eaten." People should be forced to quit using that term as a crutch or excuse for their own overly sensitive feelings or entitlements. Real bullying happens, but it's far less common than people would have you believe. Same goes for NETY.
Assuming that this is a serious post...
I find that the more stressful the environment, and/or the more
saturated with females (yes I'm serious)... the more likely you
will have nurses "eating their young", as well as any other nurse,
new or seasoned, who opens themselves up to being easily bullied
by having a more passive personality.
I believe med-surge, ICU, and ER to be the worst areas for this.
Yes I read the posts and there were many times that I had multiple students following me. It isn't that big of a problem to get them helping and explain things to them. It actually would be a lot of fun, even if a little more complicated. And indeed is is joyful, if your attitude is right.
Having been a nurse for 46 years, this concept of nurses "eating their young" has disgusted me. The attitude the experienced nurse in the above situation exhibited says a lot about the kind of nurse she would be, lack of empathy, lack of ability to expand one's horizons a little and take care of any contingency. If she cannot even allow a student nurse to tag along and watch, maybe she should get into another line of work. We are all student nurses at some point, and if we want competent, caring nurses to come along and replace us when we retire, we have a responsibility to nourish them and show them how to do it right. Treating them with such disdain is not how to do that. As I raised my children, one of the joys I found was introducing the world around us to them and seeing how excited they would get with each new discovery they made exploring. It is the same with helping student nurses and new nurses. Showing them how joyful and fulfilling, and hard, nursing can be and how to truly care for their patients, how to do procedures right, easier and faster opens your own eyes to see what a wonderful blessing it is to be a nurse.
Don't you feel like you're talking to a brick wall at times.
I think NETY is taught in nursing schools these days, so new nurses come in looking for it and fully expect it to be there. New nurses are being done a grave disservice. They need to be learning how to be nurses instead of looking for monsters.
Nurses DO eat their young. Accept that and move on. . .
And even a few posts about what to wear when I become an NP.
Yes I read the post and understand what she was saying. Please don't ask questions like that. It's impolite. I was mainly addressing the overall tone of the post. We all have a responsibility to nursing students. That's what I got from my education. Also, anyone pursuing an NP/PA will know that it is almost impossible to get clinicals for the same reason many are stating. Lastly, from my experience the OP most likely was credible. She may sound unhinged, bursting with anger at everyone, but I believe her.
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