Ruby Vee's Nursing Blog

The Calling: What Made Me Pursue a Nursing Career

By Ruby Vee - “Become a nurse just for the money? How can you possibly be a good nurse if you’re doing it just for the money?” The implication seems to be that in order to be a good nurse, one has to have a “calling”. This is the idea put forth mostly be brand new nurses, student nurses, students in pre-nursing and “wannabe” nurses. In some cases, they really seem to believe that they have a calling -- they’re called to “help people” or to “make a difference”. In other cases, they seem to be... Read More →

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Coping: Dark Humor and Silver Linings

By Ruby Vee - Coping with cancer is a lot like coping with nursing -- or life, even -- humor helps as does actively seeking the silver lining. Dark humor seems to help the most, or perhaps it’s just that I’m hopelessly warped after thirty-odd years of nursing. Whatever, there are people (and I’m related to some) who have no sense of humor, and I cannot imagine how they cope when life throws them a curveball. Strangely, though, there are people whom never seem to GET thrown the curveball. My sister is one... Read More →

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For Those Considering A Career In Nursing

By Ruby Vee - I've been a nurse for a lONG time -- probably longer than most of you reading this have been alive. Had I known what I was getting into, I probably would not have gotten into it. Fortunately, I had no idea. I say fortunately, because nursing has been an interesting and flexible career that has afforded me a nice lifestyle and kept me from being bored. I wouldn’t go back and change my mind about going into nursing if I could.. Oh, and I met my husband at work. Another bonus! If... Read More →

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"One Measly Act Of Charity"

By Ruby Vee - I was middle-aged when I decided to become Catholic. My mother was raised in a fundamentalist church -- one of those churches where Sunday services last all day and there’s a lot of (literal) Bible thumping involved. (I’ll never forget the Sunday my uncle Alvin gave the sermon, whacking his Bible against the podium to emphasize his proclamations. “You are all SINNERS.” Whack goes the Bible against the podium. “You are all going to HELL!” Whack! “You are all going STRAIGHT TO HELL!” ... Read More →

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"It isn't your mother; it's the disease"

By Ruby Vee - I wish I had a dollar for every time my mother’s or my mother-in-law’s bad behavior prompted a nurse or a CNA somewhere to tell me that. Mom curses at me and tells me I’m ugly and stupid -- the nurse sighs sympathetically and says “that’s not your mother, that’s the disease.” Meaning Alzheimer’s. My mother-in-law kicks, screams, spits, scratches and bites when the urge strikes her. And the CNA helpfully tells my sister-in-law “It’s not your mother. That’s the disease.” Surely it cannot... Read More →

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Ghost Building

By Ruby Vee - Ghost Building I've always wondered what happens to the ghosts that haunt a building once the building is demolished. Do they go off into oblivion once the building is gone? Or do they stay at the longitude and latitude where the building once stood? It was a famous hospital, founded during the Civil War and treated in its time both Union and Confederate soldiers. We'll call it St. Peters General Hospital. By the time I took a job there well over a century later, the buildings were... Read More →

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Martha, The Helpful Ghost

By Ruby Vee - It's been my experience that every hospital has a ghost or two . . . although it seems that only certain people ever see them. I think part of it is you need to be open to seeing them and maybe part of it is luck. I'm just lucky I guess. In every hospital in which I've ever worked, I've encountered at least one ghost and sometimes more. Some of them are peaceful, kind presences, the kind that you suspect might be looking out for you. And then there are the angry or malevolent ghosts --... Read More →

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Rehab's Ghost

By Ruby Vee - I've come to the conclusion that every hospital -- and probably nursing homes, funeral homes and assisted livings -- have their ghosts. Certainly I've encountered many of them over my decades of nursing. My mother used to claim that she'd see them all over the place. "They just walk around town like the rest of us," she said. "But if you're really looking, you can see that they're not real." When I asked her how she knew they were ghosts, she had a lot of vague answers -- one of them... Read More →

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Alzheimer's: My Mother's Approval

By Ruby Vee - I was one of those little girls whose mother didn’t like her. She liked my sister just fine -- thought she was perfect in every way. Me -- not so much. For most of my life, there was nothing I could ever do that was good enough for her, nothing I said, did or was pleased her. I graduated with honors from high school (despite having two jobs) and I should have been valedictorian and why hadn’t I been a cheerleader or homecoming queen? I was an honor student in college despite having been... Read More →

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Rudeness in the Workplace

By Ruby Vee - “There’s no excuse for rudeness in the workplace. Those who try to justify it are probably rude bullies who eat their young.” “I’m always pleasant and professional and I always treat everyone the way I’d like to be treated.” How many times have I read those statements on Allnurses? And while I sort of understand the sentiment being expressed, I find it very difficult to swallow the notion that anyone truly believes there is never any excuse for rudeness or that they themselves are... Read More →

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Ethics in Nursing -- Ethics in Life

By Ruby Vee - Starting in a few years, my state is going to requiring background checks and fingerprints as a condition of license renewal for all nurses. Whew! What a pain in the posterior! I mean, I’ve been a nurse for over three decades and they’re just asking for it NOW? And I’ll have to pay for all that in the last few months before I retire -- either that or retire a few months before I’m actually eligible. I’ve heard all of my colleagues complaining about the new law; I’ve done my fair share (or... Read More →

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The Trouble With Women . . . .

By Ruby Vee - ok, most of you who know me are going to be shocked when you read this header . . . ruby? talking about the problem with women? no way! and you’re right. no way. but if i entitled this article “misogyny”, which is really what it’s about, how many of you would have started to read? misogyny is defined as “the hatred, mistrust or dislike of women.” as a survivor of domestic violence, i thought i knew about misogyny. during the years of my abusive marriage and the recovery period... Read More →

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Compassion: A Dirty Word

By Ruby Vee - I’m beginning to feel as though the word “compassion” is a dirty word. Maybe it’s the way people use it these days. It doesn’t seem to be about an actual feeling of empathy toward a patient, family member or even a colleague. It seems to be more about “ME ME ME.” The word is used more as a bludgeon to impugn someone’s character, motives or behavior than as a descriptor. It’s used to induce -- or to attempt to induce -- feelings of guilt rather than to praise or validate. “I’m pregnant... Read More →

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The Ethics of Managing Your Personal Time

By Ruby Vee - There’s a lot said about ethics in nursing, and much of it -- most of it, probably -- pertains toward the ethical treatment of patients. Not charting meds you haven’t given or procedures you haven’t done, admitting your med errors and setting about to mitigate the damage just as soon as you realize you’ve made an error, truth and honor in communicating with other members of the health care team. Those are all examples of nursing ethics and I won’t denigrate their value. But it seems to me... Read More →

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Nursing Ethics: About The Weather

By Ruby Vee - Winter is over here, and summer is on its way. I count myself to be fortunate in the extreme that I didn’t have to stay overnight at the hospital this winter. Yet it seemed to snow every single time I had a stretch of night shift. I’m not quite sure how Mother Nature knew it was my turn to work nights!! It’s tornado season -- or almost -- in the midwest where I grew up, hurricane season is right around the corner and of course earthquakes occur without any warning and volcanic eruptions... Read More →

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