To all the men, I have a serious question

Grizzly20, MSN, CRNA · Dec 3, 2013

Yep, I was 31 years old when I entered nursing school. I had a girlfriend of 2 years at the time and I prepared her for what she was in for. It was a 12 month accelerated BSN program and she lived 1 hour away from me. I trusted her with my life and she respected my goals. She too is in the medical field and went though similar schooling. It was difficult and highly time consuming, but definitely worth every second. I proposed and took her on a cruise 10 days after I graduated:) We're married now and life is good. However, we are now getting things in order because now we are thinking about having a kid next year at the same time I anticipate getting into CRNA school. Another 2 years of full support and loyalty. Develop that mutual understanding and expectations of one another before your program starts and it should go smooth! Good luck

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Dec 3, 2013

Yes, she was supportive when I applied, got in, and still is 7 months into a 15 month ABSN program. She is my number one cheerleader. She tells me daily that I can do it, only X amount of time to go. She kiddingly said when I started "I'll see you in 15 months" knowing that we would not have much free time to spend together. You need someone to be supportive of your commitment to school. School becomes your number one priority and they become number two and they have to willingly accept it or it will cause a lot of chaos in your relationship and school performance.

ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN · Dec 3, 2013

I don’t know what I would have done if it had not been for my partner. He managed the household and finances while I was in school. He never complained when I locked myself in the office to write a paper or to study. We have since switched roles. He is back in school working on his graduate degree while I work full-time, manage the household and finances, and going to grad school.

ArrowRN, BSN, RN · Dec 3, 2013

Because you know what it feels like to go through nursing school. Do you have a significant other that supports the time that it takes? If you were the sIgnIfIcant other of a partner who was In nursIng school, do you think you would be able to support them emotionally? Would you be as understanding as you want someone to be to you right now? Do you believe Loyalty of your partner plays a big factor while your in nursing school?

With my wife I think she trys but I really don't feel the support. We always have arguments about my lack of spending time, just had one last week. I wrote a huge thread about this months ago and its just something I'm going through by myself. This happens especially before a test when I go into lock down mode. Sometimes the arguments make me fails my tests and so I recently started just going elsewhere to study but I can't do that all the time.

There really is no other way for me to cover the amount of material we learn. One time she even asked if I was interested in one of the girls in my class. I'm like I ain't got time for you even much less for another woman. Are there attractive girls in class? of course, but I'm all about my books and commitment. So yes loyalty pays a huge role, not just for nursing but for anyone with a partner who is committed to education.

How would I be if situations were reversed??? She's been a stay at home mom most of the time, with only few months as a CNA but it was too much for her. Honestly , I really admire educated women I would love it if she went back to school for her degree. In fact, I've been trying to get her to pursue further education for the past 6 years with no results. I tried to get her to nursing school also but she just was not interested.

I want my wife to be successful so if something happens to me she'd be able to take care of herself. Too many women depend on their man to make money. I'm constantly trying to get her to get a degree and I would support her 1000%. I would not even disturbed her during studies because I know it's only for a short time and in the end we will all benefit. I myself need complete quiet during study time and I would do the same. I would take the kids out so she could get time to study.

In the end the whole family benefits. If you are unmarried and do not have a supportive partner during nursing school, I'd suggest ending it now rather than later. That person will not support your future goals and ambitions. Do people change? sure but it takes a lot in commitment and loyalty. You can't be going to school working hard while your significant other is out fooling around and not making things easier for you.

trymybest · Dec 3, 2013

Yep I was 31 years old when I entered nursing school. I had a girlfriend of 2 years at the time and I prepared her for what she was in for. It was a 12 month accelerated BSN program and she lived 1 hour away from me. I trusted her with my life and she respected my goals. She too is in the medical field and went though similar schooling. It was difficult and highly time consuming, but definitely worth every second. I proposed and took her on a cruise 10 days after I graduated:) We're married now and life is good. However, we are now getting things in order because now we are thinking about having a kid next year at the same time I anticipate getting into CRNA school. Another 2 years of full support and loyalty. Develop that mutual understanding and expectations of one another before your program starts and it should go smooth! Good luck[/quote']
This is so awsome. I believe loyalty is key, when times are rough and tough.

trymybest · Dec 3, 2013

With my wife I think she trys but I really don't feel the support. We always have arguments about my lack of spending time, just had one last week. I wrote a huge thread about this months ago and its just something I'm going through by myself. This happens especially before a test when I go into lock down mode. Sometimes the arguments make me fails my tests and so I recently started just going elsewhere to study but I can't do that all the time.
There really is no other way for me to cover the amount of material we learn. One time she even asked if I was interested in one of the girls in my class. I'm like I ain't got time for you even much less for another woman. Are there attractive girls in class? of course, but I'm all about my books and commitment. So yes loyalty pays a huge role, not just for nursing but for anyone with a partner who is committed to education.
How would I be if situations were reversed??? She's been a stay at home mom most of the time, with only few months as a CNA but it was too much for her. Honestly , I really admire educated women I would love it if she went back to school for her degree. In fact, I've been trying to get her to pursue further education for the past 6 years with no results. I tried to get her to nursing school also but she just was not interested.
I want my wife to be successful so if something happens to me she'd be able to take care of herself. Too many women depend on their man to make money. I'm constantly trying to get her to get a degree and I would support her 1000%. I would not even disturbed her during studies because I know it's only for a short time and in the end we will all benefit. I myself need complete quiet during study time and I would do the same. I would take the kids out so she could get time to study.
In the end the whole family benefits. If you are unmarried and do not have a supportive partner during nursing school, I'd suggest ending it now rather than later. That person will not support your future goals and ambitions. Do people change? sure but it takes a lot in commitment and loyalty. You can't be going to school working hard while your significant other is out fooling around and not making things easier for you.

My situation is a crazy one. One moment he supports me fully, the next moment its like I'm living with a stranger. I am so tired of the roller coaster ride, plus going to school and working full time. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be as supportive as one could be. Now that I am almost done I am truly starting to feel resentment, and am asking myself.... If this person made things harder for you, when you needed them the most, then when things get better do they really deserve your loyalty and understanding? I wanted some male opinions to see if I was wrong for feeling this way.. I feel like I am Soooo over it .

trymybest · Dec 3, 2013

Yes she was supportive when I applied, got in, and still is 7 months into a 15 month ABSN program. She is my number one cheerleader. She tells me daily that I can do it, only X amount of time to go. She kiddingly said when I started "I'll see you in 15 months" knowing that we would not have much free time to spend together. You need someone to be supportive of your commitment to school. School becomes your number one priority and they become number two and they have to willingly accept it or it will cause a lot of chaos in your relationship and school performance.[/quote']
This is great. Treat her very good when you are done. And don't forget the sacrifice she made...

trymybest · Dec 3, 2013

I don’t know what I would have done if it had not been for my partner. He managed the household and finances while I was in school. He never complained when I locked myself in the office to write a paper or to study. We have since switched roles. He is back in school working on his graduate degree while I work full-time, manage the household and finances, and going to grad school.

This is great. My partner started out this way but it did not last long. He gave me more stress. Headaches, and heartache than anything. But with less than 17 days to go, and gods help. .. I will be graduating :)

adam.j.james · Dec 3, 2013

Seriously? She should trying being with a deployed solider.

ArrowRN, BSN, RN · Dec 5, 2013

I am so tired of the roller coaster ride I feel like I am Soooo over it .

a roller coaster ride is a good way to put it. I don't know what to do. Try thanking them a bit more I guess. I actually tried giving more time to the family earlier this semester and what happened? My grades fell...I'm not talking C's I could live with that, I mean I started outright failing classes. So its like having to choose between school or the family.

trymybest · Dec 5, 2013

a roller coaster ride is a good way to put it. I don't know what to do. Try thanking them a bit more I guess. I actually tried giving more time to the family earlier this semester and what happened? My grades fell...I'm not talking C's I could live with that, I mean I started outright failing classes. So its like having to choose between school or the family.

I came to the realization that, I work 32 hours a week, I go to school full time, I have to study, their is not enough time in the day. I'm not crazy (like I thought I was at first:) ). I am not asking for much to better our future. I am one motivated female and I love that about me. If he can't love my ambition and drive, then he can't possible love me. Before I started and on my break I gave 101%. I don't deserve this. And won't forget the treatment I received!!!!!