OK we get it STUD, you're straight

[bigrigcowboy]

Something has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it.

So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.

If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you. [better you than me]

One question I want to ask you students is just how the hell do you know for sure which of the guys in your class are "abNormal", "unMarried", "one of them", "not a Real Man" etc. have your instructors had everyone disclose their sexual orientation during introductions? I have seen pretty well adjusted men turn up the testosterone so far when in the presence of a known gay man that they loose all sense and become flaming A**HOLES to prove that they are not "one of them". Not a way to become part of the team sparky.

Let me give all you Normal, Married, Real Men a reality check. The cold hard truth is that there are gay men in nursing. Thank goodness nursing has been a profession that really didn't care one way or the other as long as you were a good nurse. Unfortunately the schools and media in an effort to make sure everyone knows all male nurses aren't gay [Are you man enough campaign?] that it feels like we are being pushed back into the closet.

Last piece of advice and I will shut up. DO NOT ASSUME. I assure you when you meet me you will not know that I am gay; I love NASCAR, Rodeo, Horses, Motorcycles, camping, just like a real man. The only difference is that my SO is a man. The one stereotype I will admit to here is I can be one vindictive ***** and I will not be receptive to your good ole boy jokes or you making sure I know you are not "one of them".

So yes there are more and more men entering nursing which is a great thing, but like any change their will be growing pains, we need to identify them, not sweep them under the rug and hope they go away.

[algebra_demystified]

Now that I've been working for a couple years I have a different take on this kind of attitude in the workplace. It sounds like when you get offended you stir up drama. Trust me, that is not an attribute I look for in a coworker. I'm much happier when I'm working with people who deescalate conflict in the workplace.

What's going to happen when a stressed out patient who's got a terminal illness makes a crack about you being gay? Are you going to react to it by getting defensive, or are you going to remember that you're at work to meet the needs of the patient?

Nursing can be very stressful. People may look down on you for one reason or another. The workplace can be unfair. Try to remember that people don't HAVE to like you for whatever reason. Democrats don't get along with republicans sometimes, so maybe it's better to not talk politics with people you work with.

[edogs334]

When I was a nursing student (not too long ago) there were definitely male classmates who did and said stuff to prove their "masculinity" and made comments like "not that I would be into that" or "not trying to imply anything (hahaha)." And the whole "Man Enough to be a Nurse" campaign? Really? Just because you're a nurse who happens to be a man doesn't mean you have to be hypermasculine to prove that you're straight. Like I've said in previous posts, I've known 2 or 3 MD residents who were openly gay- sexuality has nothing to do with one's profession.

Being straight isn't about being married, being into college football or owning an F550 Powerstroke Diesel (which is I think is pretty sweet, btw). Rather, it's about which sex you're more attracted to. Just like I don't have to be into the latest bubble-gum pop, the latest fashion trends and be a woman's best friend to prove that I'm gay. I just know that I'm attracted to other guys when I see one who strikes my fancy. Also, most straight guys don't have to worry about getting hit on by gay men- because most gay guys, like everyone else, respect the concept of PERSONAL BOUNDARIES (DUH!). I'm guessing that straight (or "straight") men worry most about guilt by association- meaning if they associate with known gay men too often that they'll be thought of as gay (by people on both sides of the fence). Which is completely stupid, because that kind of evidence (for someone being one way or the other) is just idle gossip and completely circumstantial. I can attest to that fear, having been deeply in the closet myself for more than several years before I came out in my 20's.

PS- I love powertools- roofing with a nailgun is freakin' awesome!

[Blueorchid, ASN, RN]

To answer the OP's question how do I know my classmates are straight/gay/and or otherwise?

I don't!

This just reminded me of my graduation ceremony and a guy in my community clinical who I was friendly with. I knew he used to box in his hometown, I thought I remembered him telling me he won Golden Gloves when he was younger, and before he was a nurse he worked in a family business making materials for sailboat sails. Come to find out as we're all lining up to get pinned that his SO is a man. I'd heard him talking on the phone before and saying "Goodbye honey" so many times I just assumed he was talking to his wife.

Just goes to show you what they say about assuming is true And the hell with it! He's a great guy and he'll make a fantastic nurse. If you're one of them I sure hope you're referring to all of us in the nursing population because sexual preference should not matter.

Signed,

One of the ladies

[Music in My Heart]

The world has far too many vindictive *****... be they gay or straight.

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

Only one in my class that tried to prove how masculine he was ended up coming out last semester. Either way I dont care. Gay straight red black purple yellow polka dots whatever. If you are willing to come to my house, drink some drinks around a fire shoot the **** like a good friend you are welcomed in my book!

[Skeletor]

homophobic people tend to try to act truly masculine across the board and generally won't ever begin to pursue a job like nursing or as a hairstylist

If I come back in another time, I'd want to be a hairstylist. The exposure to attractive women is almost constant, you've got an immediate in to their world

[Destination1]

If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you.

I am a normal, married, not one of them, real man, with kids. I am also a STUD....

Did you scream? lol

Honestly I have never felt the need to prove my sexual orientation to anyone. But I do wonder sometimes when did it become abnormal to be straight? Did you ever consider that the behavior you are seeing in this forum is simply a normal behavior of many males regardless of their profession? We have all seen construction workers, truck drivers, carpenters, golf pros, doctors, lawyers, etc... proclaim their masculinity. And when on earth did telling someone Im married or have kids make me homophobic? Is there such a thing as a straightophob? I'm sure I've meet a few.

[scarecow]

No I have not come to prefer that at all. I think it is insulting. A female officer to me is still an officer. A female soldier to me is still a soldier. I will not add a gender label to any position simply because it is not the norm.

I agree 100%. I would not want to be referred to as a "murse". It is condescending to the nursing field and unprofessional in the work place.

So a female nurse is a furse?? It just does not work.

SC

[vizzle]

I am a man going into the nursing field, and I don't care if you think my sexual orientation is homosexual. There is no need to assert myself a married heterosexual. What does it matter what your fellow students, patients, professors think? Does it matter in the end? Are you suddenly going to turn gay if everyone thinks your gay? I think not. LOL the thought of having to assert my straightness is laughable.

To add, I don't care if your gay or straight as a fellow student. Hooray you made a different choice then I did. I do not think your going to come onto to me and try and change me. I won't change you.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

I think the problem starts when a man or woman gay or Straight, feels the need to shove it down your thoat and start going on an on about their preferences and escapades. I think sex is like politics, don't make it your soapbox at work/school and you won't run into this kind of garbage. I also refuse to live in fear of the PC police so if you ask me a direct question you will get an honest answer that you might not like. It isn't my job to walk on eggshells so some hypersensitive whiner doesn't get offended. I love Jesus, unborn babies and guns. I don't bring it up at work though. If you get in my face about it that's a different story. Don't put it out there if you don't wanna hear about it.

[muneca13]

Omg...some of you guys are just so overly sensitive, I always mention my husband but because I'm proud of what I have not because I want anyone to know my sexual preference. Perhaps a guy who states the same feels the same and other prople who are self consious of themselves have a problem with it! They way we put things out ther is just human nature we always refer to people by what we see, hear so on and so forth... Men constantly criticize women but when you guys getting to yapping it your worse thorifice girls...haha is that just another stereo type..sorrry boys!Don't worry guys because...:mnnnrsngrk:

[ItsTheDude]

So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.

ha, healthcare/nursing as one of the most homophobic systems? i don't think so.