Is this how work really feels like? Have you felt like this before?

  1. 0
    So I'm new at this nursing thing and I got a job at a skilled nursing facility. Ive been working there for three months and the last two months I feel like vomiting every time I know I have to go in. I get panic attacks where I start hyperventilating and bust out crying because I don't want to do it. I'm on call and haven't been picking up because I don't want to go in. Once I'm there, I'm there I have to do it. But sometimes in the middle of passing medication I wanna quit, go home or start crying. Although I don't, its really hitting me emotionally, making problems between me and my spouse and my parents are worried about me because i threatened to kill myself because I hate what I do. Is it the fact that maybe my area in nursing is too stressful for me and maybe I should move into home care? I don't know has anyone felt like this before? I'm 22 and this is actually my first real job so...I don't know it really sucks to feel this way. Its like a big nasty hole in my stomach and it messes me up big time!

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  3. 12 Comments...

  4. 2
    Suggest you see a professional immediately. Suicidal ideation is nothing to set aside, in others or ourselves. Unfortunately we can not offer medical advice here, other than to urge you to see your doctor. Other than that, you need to learn coping skills whether you stay at this job or not. If you do any amount of reading here you will see that what you describe is quite common, however, knowing that does not diminish the effect on you. Please discuss all of this with your doctor. Best wishes.
    azcna and KimberlyRN89 like this.
  5. 0
    What exactly is it that is making you feel so anxious? Being a nurse is a big respobsibility, and sometimes we are put in situations that maybe we aren't ready for. I am a new nurse as well...I have had my license since March of last year. There are still situations that I get nervous about, and I am always asking questions, because being a nurse is about gaining experience and knowledge with every encounter that we have. Keep your head up, and start building your confidence. You are not going to know everything, but don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm not sure if confidence/lack of knowledge/experience is causing your anxiety, but as a fellow newbie I can only assume that it's part of the problem.
  6. 1
    it's normal to feel somewhat anxious when you are first starting out in a new career. it does take time to get your footing and feel that you are competent.

    that said, if the anxiety is at the point of causing emotional distress, then maybe it would be good for you to take some time away and figure out if this is really for you.

    i can't give you medical advice, however, if you ever feel like you want to harm yourself, please see your doctor, or go to the emergency room.

    feeling like killing yourself in response to the stresses of your job is not a good thing. again, i really urge you to see and talk to someone neutral, and not on a message board. your private physician, the emergency room, a licensed counselor. call in to your local crisis line, as they will have resource information for you.

    good luck, and let us know how you are doing.
    KimberlyRN89 likes this.
  7. 0
    I just feel like flipping burgers will make me feel better at what Im doing than this. I know its childish, everyone wants my job, its part of growing up blah blah but this feeling is horrible!! You have no idea its not some lame nervous feeling oooh im starting my new job its like omg ill rather die than go in....what sucks is that everyone keeps telling me oh this is probably the best place youll ever work at and im like WHAT?! THERES WORSE?! geesus christ...also this place will build my experience but I dont really care anymore home care maybe is for me visiting patients and seeing they are doing ok. But the whole 16 patient thing, passing meds, charting bibles, dealing with all these philipinos is just not trying to keep going at it as much as I possibly can but i feel once day im going to burst.....
  8. 2
    Well. I can kind of relate to this post. I'm an experienced nurse and I've had a month that tops just about any bad work experience that I can remember in recent history.

    I love being a nurse but there are times when I wonder how I'm going to keep doing this and what kind of stupid trail of decisions led me into this profession in the first place.

    Sometimes the job can be unbelievably hard.

    That said. I do love being a nurse, and I've been doing this long enough to know that eventually things will turn around, and that I'll get back on my feet and be OK. So I plow on through.

    You don't seem to be in that same frame of mind and the fact that you have expressed a desire to kill yourself is very much a concern. You are young, you're just starting out, you have your whole life ahead of you, and this is just a job.

    No more, no less, it's your job, it's a paycheck, there are other jobs out there, and you simply cannot allow the outcome of your life and your well-being to be so devastated by this.

    I really hope that you can find some professional counseling and talk to someone who can help you develop some good coping skills, so that you can move forward in your life and make decisions that serve your best interests -- whether it be finding a new facility, a new profession, a new temporary job, or any other kind of situation where you are safe, secure, and happy with your life.

    I am sending you many hugs and a guarantee that if you work through your emotions you will definitely come out of this on the better side of this experience.:redpinkhe
    CapeCodDreamer and ChristinP like this.
  9. 1
    I can certainly relate to what you're saying...and I've been a nurse for nearly 27 years. Many(if not most) of skilled nursing facilities are short-staffed, have overwhelming med passes, and mangement that changes nearly as often as you change your socks! If you want to keep your sanity, begin the job search and find something else NOW. That job is not worth that kind of stress and most certainly not worth your life! I know the economy is bad and no doubt you're fearful that you won't find ANY job for awhile; however, if you don't like the job and it is causing you so much stress that you're nauseated, etc, you really need to find something else. Keep in mind ALL nursing jobs are stressful; they only vary in the INTENSITY of the stress. Try MD offices, hemodialysis clinics, home care, hospice care.
    Last edit by Midwest4me on Apr 13, '12 : Reason: additional info
    sydneyxmoon likes this.
  10. 1
    If you do not learn to deal with your anxiety, you will find that you have problems no matter where you work. Each nursing area has its share of undesirable aspects. Home care, while offering the allure of only one patient, has its own set of problems, and is not the place for someone with no experience. There can be nothing more debilitating than to be doing your very best, but having the family standing over your shoulder, barking at you, then calling your employer and lying when they say they don't want you back, or telling you to do something that will jeopardize your license. Read some of the threads about home health. There are plenty of examples. Read in other forums for similar examples for other nursing areas. Stress. You have to cope. Again, advise you to see your doctor. Take care of your health so that you can take care of others.
    LTCNS likes this.
  11. 0
    I've been a nurse for many years and it still makes me feel uncomfortable at times! I've had jobs like the one you are describing and I have also been through 5 years of a terrible depression prior to nursing. You need to step away from this job right now and take care of yourself... This is a hard job that can often seem like a thankless task. It isn't for everyone.
  12. 1
    I recently dealt with the stresses of being a new nurse in an unsupportive environment. I hated going into work. I cried at work and after. My life was in shambles. In addition, the environment was unsafe for any nurse, much less a new nurse.

    I quit. I didn't know when or if I'd find another position, but I knew my sanity and health came above a paycheck. It took me 2 weeks and I had 2 offers on the table.

    Quitting is hard, but staying somewhere where you are unhappy is never worth it. Have you tried to find a job at a clinic? Don't give up on nursing. Try more environments to see if you like them. As a nurse, I know you know that if you feel suicidal you have to change something. See a doctor. Talk it over with friends and family. Do what's best for you, but you need to get out of your current situation.

    Best of luck. I hope your situation improves!
    Nurse_Wretched likes this.

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