Hi there. Read your post and felt the need to reply. This will also be a long one.
I always knew palliative care was where I wanted to be, throughout my training i did all I could to gear my placements towards either end of life patients or oncology and other life limiting conditions.
After qualifying I did a year in cardiac medicine and surgery. First chance I had after that (weeks) I was in a hospice.
I do recognise so many of the things you are experiencing and there are a few things you need to remember.
One of the great drives in the advancement of nursing practice is young people joining teams and imparting new ideas etc, palliative care needs this, palliative needs to evolve too. Yes the older more experienced nurses seem to bring so much to the table but don't devalue what you bring.
I stayed at the hospice for 18 months and then left as I moved counties, I didn't intend to leave palliative care, despite my worries I was too young and I experienced, but life panned out a little differently and after a few agency shifts I ended up intrigued by and specialising in school nursing.
16 years later, guess what, I'm back in a hospice, just finished the first 3 months. I've come back to my nursing roots, and I am so glad, I am also still young enough to live my student nurse dream.
I had no trouble getting a job back in palliative care although I believed I had no skills. in the UK at least, employers will see potential when it's deserved.
If you feel you need to go do something else then that is something you must do, if you do only two things on the back to of this post please, remember what your patients have taught you about how we should live life, learn from their mistakes and their joys, they would want you to have that gift.
Secondly, remember what your colleagues have taught you, to communicate well, to have empathy and show kindness, to advocate for your patients and to always see the wider picture, will stand you in good stead what ever you choose to do, far from being deskilled you will now hold the most important skills a nurse can have.
i don't regret the choices I made but I do wish I'd come back sooner, however I do still wonder if I would have burnt out if I'd stayed as so young when I started. Once again I bring new things to a team, as I said, that's important. I also wonder if I will ever be as good as my senior colleagues. Then I'll sit and watch the sunrise with a patient and know that it doesn't matter I do t know where everything is on the selves in the stock room, or I can't recite opioids conversion charts, that's stuff I can look up, being a positive presence is a skill that doesn't come from a text book or a policy.
You will have a gained a great foundation whatever you choose to do.