question-predicting death

First off, type of cancer and location of mets can give us clues as to the things to look for as people decline toward death. We can often guesstimate death within a few days...but not always. Can you talk with your mom about this? She may well know, before her hospice nurse, that she has only a short time to live. Does your mom want you to be with her at time of death? If she does not, you may want to change your plans because she will have more control over that than you might think. Are you in regular contact with her hospice nurse? Did they give you any information which outlines the dying process for you? There are often things like loss of appetite, social withdrawal, etc that may help you to plan for a visit to your mom. There are a couple of excellent resources for families that your mom's hospice likely has access to. Ask them for some reading material. Good luck. I am sorry about your mom...

i'm sorry to hear about your mom, ajax.

when a pt is actively dying, it could take weeks.
this is the time when pts typically lose appetite, sleep more and become less functional.
however, when death is imminent, it usually doesn't take more than a couple of days.
this is when the pt has lost consciousness, and is in such a deep state, that the brain shows its irregularities in the breathing process.

so if someone can call you when mom is imminently dying, there's a decent chance you'll get there in time.
however, no guarantees at all.
the bottom line is our pts will go when they are good and ready...
i've had pts on the brink, only to come back and rally for a while, and then die w/o any type of warning.

the dying process is always predictably unpredictable.

perhaps you could visit her for a day or two, when she is deteriorating, as seen in actively dying.
i find it the ideal time to visit w/your loved ones, since the pt is alert and meaningful talks take place.
it is after these personal moments, that the pt can then die peacefully...
knowing s/he has seen all his/her loved ones.

let us know how it goes, ajax.
we're here for you.

leslie