hospice nurses--personal beliefs in life after death

Shrinky-
That is an amazing discovery I have come upon too...

I once had a woman who led a firm matriarchal household. She was determined to have her daughter at her bedside when she died so that she "might positively influence her to change some things in her life". Well, her body began to lead in decline and she was very close to death. Her family called me to come, aware she was leaving. I bathed her, per their request, as she had been incontinent. While bathing her, I talked softly to her, saying goodbye and affirming that it was okay to leave, though her daughter had not arrived (from across country). To that she moaned from a faraway place "Oh, no!" and came back. She lingered, as if neither dead nor alive, for 3 more days, until her daughter arrived and was at her bedside.

In those final moments, I believe those dying have a choice: whether to go or whether to linger a bit longer...to take care of something, to learn something or teach something, to wait until a particular someone is there or not there...

Lantana,

Yes, I too am caught off guard by the minimal response to this thread. I believe the work we do in hospice is profound, life-changing for us; challenging us to our core, stretching our beliefs far beyond what they were when we entered the hospice work...IF we are fully open to it.

The stories and moments are amazing. Yes, it is deeper and more eye opening the further I am able to open myself to those spiritual moments, too.

I was raised with a certain, religious based belief set regarding life after death. My beliefs have changed dramatically to align with the belief that dying is a transition to life beyond. Even those who do not believe in a religion based life after death, often comment on the "attending" of others...family, friends, unknown- bright apparitions who keep company with them and wait to cross with them.

I have a theory too about signals patients give us just before turning. If well attuned and open to journeying with them, it can have a significant effect for both us and them. Almost making us feel as if it really isn't "us" and "them" as we are carried with them briefly into that expanding conscious awareness. I have attended a few intense and meaningful journeys with patients who then have subtly indicated that it is my time to step back and let them journey on alone, as it must be. Just today, I asked a man if he would still be here when I return to work after my day off. He said somberly "I don't know"...then with a twinkle in his eye, "but if you come to see me, I will wait and you can go with me." ...I heard, so thanked him and told him what an honor it has been to journey this far with him, and told him I would be back on Friday to see him off. I have had several patients ask me, looking deeply into my eyes, "how are you?" at my last visit with them. It is a signal for me to say goodbye.

I am always excited to share the stories. I believe it is the way we honor the sacredness of the work we do. I know that when I cross I will recognize many there to help me.

While not certain of all the details...whether we get another form, body; are transported to another plane, heaven or hover , I know that the soul's energy is released at the time of the body's death. It does not die. And the dying possess a capacity to see far beyond what the living see into something immense, kind and loving.

earle58---

Thank you for helping me to understand the silence. I wonder how many others there are who feel "humbled to reverent silence"?

Yes, the journeys we accompany are often awe inspiring. It is sad our western culture does not provide us with transition traditions or folklore...food for our spiritual development and preparation for separation of our body and spirit in the dying process we all arrive at one day. I believe it may be up to us, as the ones attending the dying, to help ease the anxiety that surrounds dying. I believe it can honor our work and those we serve. Through the discreet sharing of stories that are awe inspiring, we may re frame death for many, removing fear by revealing aspects of transition gifts.