Death stories?

Code Brown RN · Apr 6, 2011

Lets bump this thread... its a good one!

rdsxfnrn · Apr 7, 2011

Here is my story..... my dad had stage 4 lung CA. We were taking care of him at home. A cpl weeks before he died, he started asking where his suitcases were, was his good suit pressed, shoes shined, insurance papers in order? All of us stayed there with him.... the last night, we were playing his favorite music, taking turns sitting on his bed, holding his hand, etc. All of us had told him previously that it was ok to go..... he only asked that we "take care of your mother". I asked him who he thought would come for him, and he told me "my father". The last night, he seemed to be "waiting" for something or someone. The only person I could think of that had not given him permission was my ex husband. He was out of town so I called him and had him talk to my dad and tell him it ok. (he thought I was nuts) My father died later that night, his heart stopped beating as I was feeling for a pulse. We gathered around and told him we loved him, said a prayer, and weeped. We also prepared his body for the funeral home, and (I made sure of this) we gently tucked him onto the stretcher and carried him out. (absolutely no body bag, ICK) It was a peaceful loving death..... I have no regrets, and when I think back, it gives me PEACE. I miss him dearly..........

MCFielder · Apr 8, 2011

My father had really bad pancreatic cancer. He was in pain for a year and nobody knew why until the cut him open for surgery and found cancer. They told us it was too much and too late there was nothing that they could do. He was so adamant about fighting the cancer. He used to always say Im going to beat this. He got very close to God on his deathbead and read the bible often. During his last few days he was slipping in and out of sanity. I remember him talking to God as if God were in the room I thought he was high on meds but now I know better! He was asking God to bless us and watch over us. Now I know God had come for him and promised him we would be ok thats what gave my dad the peace to leave us as he was VERY protective over us kids. He gave us final words of advice which I hate myself for not remembering because I chalked it up to this meds once again. He told us he loved us I do remember that much. That night he went back to the hospital because he was detriorating. He had a seizure in the ambulance and when we saw him in the ICU he had tubes down his chest and he was literally FIGHTING for his life. He was squirming and squeezing onto these things I cant remember really hard. He was not going down without a fight. A few hours later he went into renal failure and at that point we decided to let him go. We all got together and prayed over him, said our goodbyes. I went out of the room after I said goodbye and waited for everyone to finish so we could let the nurse know we were ready to let him go. As soon as my grandmother-his mother kissed him on the forehead the lines went flat. Everyone thought she had stepped on a chord or something because it happened so suddenly. But nope, he was just waiting for everyone to say goodbye.

LuvMyGamecocks · Jul 30, 2011

I came across this thread as I'm researching what all you fine nurses have to say about the hospice profession. I'm thinking of making a change from LTC to home hospice....

Actually, the reason I'm a nurse is b/c of the way a nurse in ICU treated US as a family as she furiously attempted to save my grandfather's life. She focused on our pain knowing inside that her attempts would prove futile. We sat with him in peace after staff was told to just stop...no 15 IV lines/tubes, no CRRT, no blood from the episode w/DIC. We were given comfortable chairs, tissues and quiet.

I recently admitted a inpatient hospice resident to our LTC unit...young doctor w/ brain Ca. The family came the night before admission to decorate his room w/ memorabilia from college and golf and family....Soooo many visitors brought beautiful signature posters to go w/ the decorations. We even got our house doc to give us an order to let him have beer on Fridays. :) One Friday, the family paid to hold his bed on the unit so they could take him for a weekend trip. He passed away on his favorite spot on the coast of the Carolinas, with his family surrounding him.

I've learned of many deaths in LTC, but that one will likely stick with me for a while.

lookingGlass · Mar 20, 2012

I am not an RN but came across this as I searched for answers.

Also I'm not into the paranormal nor am I a church attender - meaning I know there is something more but I tend to not like organized religion (just me I suppose).

Years ago I had two relatives die within weeks of one another. I was close to both of them. The first was in the hospital 35 min. away. It was late in the evening and I was in bed. I felt him tell me all was going to be alright. It was like time stood still as I kept staring at the clock, finally the minute changed. The next morning my mother told me he had died and at what time. It was that exact minute. The second relative was my grandfather and he lived across the country. 20 minutes after he died I felt him tell me he loved me. Again, I only found out he had died the next morning.

Years went by without this happening another time. Then I think it happened when my great aunt died. I was half asleep when it happened.

I'm going to skip one for now and go on to the last time it happened. My relative had mets to the bone, she was in a coma and had been in the hospital for nearly 3 days. She lived half across the country. I was up late waiting for my husband to get home from a job and we were talking (he had come home within the hour). Suddenly it happened, it's like a shock to the brain and I knew she was leaving. I stayed up for the next hour and a half thinking about it (wee hours of the morning) and finally told myself if true, then she would want me to turn off the tv and go to bed. The next morning my mom called. I nearly told her before she told me that our family member had died and at what time. The time I felt it was 35 min. before she was pronounced. She was pronounced dead at the top of the hour so I wonder if they were not exact (it was in the middle of the night). Besides this being an odd thing, I find it interesting that it didn't matter that she was in a coma. The other interesting thing is, I knew what it was BEFORE I was told she had died. It was NOT a false or pieced together memory to ease the pain. The feeling is very strong, quick and unexpected.

Knowing it is a real feeling has become very special to me. Now returing to the one that causes me so much emotion. I had a friend whom I had not seen in 20 years, he was very special to me and as things go...something tore us apart. I did not know he was sick / dying. I was cleaning up some items and noticed some old yearbooks. I got a strong feeling to look for his photo. Without being too personal, I told him good-nite and then proceeded to look to the sky and ask God to please let him live (he did have a condition & said would shorten his life but I have never asked this of God before and I rarely ever looked at his photo - only a few times over the years). I found out 3 years later he had died. I thought maybe I had the day wrong since it was 3 years ago but I didn't and it can only be that day. His photo was sealed in a box that evening and not opened until after I found out he had died.

I don't know why this happens but it does. It's not wishful thinking on my part to ease the pain of loosing someone.

allnurses Guide · May 27, 2012

Bump!

One night, when my grandmother was in the hospital, my grandfather was at home and having great difficulty sleeping.

At 3:00am, he was startled to hear his name being called. It sounded like Grandma.

He got up and checked everything out, was pretty darn nervous, but tried to forget about it.

Well, it bothered him so bad, he (reluctantly) told my mother about it.

That was interesting, because, apparently, Mom woke up at 3:00am and just couldn't get back to sleep. However, she didn't hear anything.

That day, in the hospital, my mother and aunt were sitting in Grandma's room. Grandma was going in and out of consciousness, and after a particularly long period of "sleep", Grandma suddenly got a second wind. She chirked up a bit and asked, "What time is it?"

Mom said, "It's 3:00".

Grandma replied, "Is it a.m. or p.m.?"

Mom answered, "It's p.m."

To which Grandma just said "oh" and fell right back into sleep.

I came that evening to be there, and toward midnight Grandma became very restless. Finally, after sometime, she settled down. As my mom and I watched her, I witnessed the life leave her features.

It's hard to describe, I can only describe it as the soul and the very essence of her personality being sucked right out.

I know others know that I mean.

But my mom saw it, looked alarmed and turned to look at me.

"I think it will be soon" was all I could say.

I left at 1am.

At about 7am, I get the call.

Grandma had stirred, opened her eyes, looked at the clock, drew a last breath and died.

At 3:00am.

The funeral was then arranged and some very nice photos were arranged on a poster board which was resting on an easel.

Suddenly, a swift breeze blew through from nowhere and the poster board rather swooped to the ground, almost as if it was tossed with a bit of an attitude.

Everyone, feeling a bit creepy, stared at the display and my mother exclaims, "Mom! You quit that!"

Then we got to chuckling and noted the time.

It wasn't 3:00am, of course, but it was 3:00pm.

We don't know what the significance of 3:00 was, a.m. or p.m., but apparently it meant something to Grandma.

VACallCenterRN · Oct 3, 2012

Wow!!!! Reading this thread I can think of so many times that I've experienced a family member experiencing the end of life journey.....

Well I have a couple of stories that I may tell you myself!

At the age of 7 or 8..... I would see black veils over people's faces.... I immediately knew what this meant (even tho I was very very young). Each time I would see them I would rub my eyes, move side to side to see if something was in the way of my vision... It didn't go anywhere... It stayed over the persons face moving as they moved.... Each time I saw this the person would die a few weeks later!!!! Omgeeee looking back at those years hen I was younger I NEVER got scared of what I saw even tho I knew what I meant.... Now I am 29 years old and it hasn't happened since then... Hope I never see this because at this age it would scare the heck out of me....

Then at the age of 17 I was pregnant with my son, I was 5 months..... I had been hiding the pregnancy from my parents and no one knew I was pregnant.... I had came down with a bladder infection and began drinking water BUT didn't go to the doctor..... Well this went on for weeks and weeks. I continued to go to school and everyone was telling me I looked like a ghost.... Well finally one of my teachers called home for someone to pick me up from school. My grandmother came and got me and doctored on me with soups... I stayed at her house until my parents got home.... A week later (still sick) as I lay in my bed sleep I hear a voice calling my name... "Anji Anji wake up.... You need to go to the hospital if you don't you are going to die" we'll when I heard this voice I KNEW it was a voice from God.... I immediately went and woke my mother up and told her I needed to go to the hospital I was sick... She told me I'll take you in the morning go back to bed.... I said "NO I need to go now! Please take me now" so she gets up and takes me to the hospital.... At this point I had a fever was having cold sweats and hadn't went to use the bathroom in about a week and a half... I get to the ER and tell them my symptoms and the immediately send me to triage.... They do all kind of blood work and wanted to X-ray me but they kept asking me are you pregnant is there anyway you could be pregnant. I lied and said no... They asked if I had ever been sexually active and said yes... They immediately did and ultrasound... Which of course said I was pregnant with a 14 oz baby boy... Okay now that that was over (my parents found out) the doctor is telling them I have a REALLY REALLY BAD kidney infection that has started poisoning my blood.... I knew at this moment I wasn't going to make it... I was wheeled into an ICU room and the doctors called my parents outside.... At that moment I took the time to pray... I asked GOD am I going to die... Lord please give me a sign of whether or not I'm going to make it... That night I went to a place I'd NEVER SEEN a place so beautiful with beautiful flowers everywhere and a BIG CHURCH upon being there I was met by a face... A familiar face... It was a guy whom I'd known that was robbed and killed by his own cousin... He told me that I was going to be alright that I was going to make it.... Upon waking up my entire body was covered in sweat I was wet from head to toe... I was move to ICU stepdown later that day.... I had faith that God answered my prayer and gave me a sign... I was out of the hospital in 3 days... God blessed me and my son with life!!! I told my parents my story when I got home... My mother called the guys aunt home had passed away months ago and told her the story... She called her sister and told her... Come to find out his mother who was a pastor had been grieving bc she didn't know whether her son was in heaven or hell.... Well GOD ANSWERED BOTH OUR PRAYERS IN ONE!!!

This isn't the end!!!!! I asked my father what did the doctor tell you.... He said the doctor told him I wasn't going to make it that I'd die within the next 24 hours. My kidneys had shut down and other systems were starting to as well...

I am soo thankful that I gave my life to Christ at such an early age (7). I've always believed and think that he can and will answer prayers. My God is an AWESOME GOD!

aksdx · Oct 15, 2012

I am no ways a nurse or even in the medical field. The nearest thing to such would have to be Personal care assistant I worked as during my time in college. This thread and the stories I have read seems so like the week and days leading up to my fathers death. My father recently passed on October 6th 2012 and everything here goes so well into his story as well if there was something else in play.

Here is my story:

A couple of days before my fathers passing, he would tell my mother to tell the people at the window to go away. Of course my mother would look and said that there was no one there, but she kinda knew in away. My father also said that since he was so poor he wanted a nice suit to wear before going away. On the last night with my mother still up while my dad was still sleeping, my dad had a night terror, he kicked, screamed and yelled at something. My mother grabbed him calmed him down and told him everything was going to be okay. He stopped, and fell back asleep. The following morning my father did not wake up as usual and my mother knew something was wrong. She called everybody to be at his bedside and we all came. My mother dispatched my sister in law and niece to go buy a suit for him. As we spent the morning with him his breaths grew shorter and harder. It's as if he was already gone but was just waiting for something to finally go. My sister in law finally arrived with the suit and we dressed him in it. I was trying to tie the tie while they threw on his suit but I failed miserably at tieing it. So my mother grabbed it, tied it and put it around his neck. She drew the tie up and right at that perfect moment when his suit was all finally together he drew his last breath and went away. It's the thing to have happen in my life.

Marties · Oct 15, 2012

I have been a hospice nurse for 10+ yrs, starting out as a continuous care nurse then moving on to a case manager, when i did continuous care mostly it was at night 12am to 8 am. The one I remember the most was a younger man in his late 40's with Liver CA. I spent almost every night with him and his family for 6 weeks. He had 3 kids in high school, all lived at home, His wife was amazing caring for him day in and day out, he was actually on service with us for 3 YEARS. He had been declining steadily for the last couple of weeks but there was no indication that his death was imminent. The morning he passed away i was getting ready to leave and my car wouldn't start. He and I had done our usual routine that morning. So as I was waiting for the tow truck to arrive I went back into the house was having a cup of coffee with his wife and she checked on him, his condition changed suddenly and he passed away while I was there. His wife and I said that was just like him to do it while i was there to help his wife and the kids were gone to school.

That wasn't the strange part.... I went to his calling hours, his wife introduced me to an old friend of theirs, and was telling him about my car not starting etc. He asked me what was wrong with the car.... It was the wiring and the distributer cap needed to be replaced. He just stared at me like I had 2 heads, then he said when they were younger (the pt) would unhook the distributer cap of people they were partying with so they wouldn't drive drunk. was it just a wierd coincidence or did the pt want to make sure I was there at the time he left his family?

Ginapixi, BSN, RN · Oct 15, 2012

stories like yours "by Marties" just make me wonder! thanks for sharing!