What in Sam Hill's Happened to Respect?

[Hishands66]

Hello,

I've been a CNA in LTC for a year now and I have quite a story to tell you!

I started out very shy and awkward, but after bravely clawing my way through and learning how to be teachable toward those who were training me I finally gained the acceptance and respect that I so hungered for from the bosses, my fellow aides, and most important of all, the residents.

But now since I've learned the ropes well strange things have happened between me and my fellow aides. Now those who used to treat me with respect are constantly reminding me of things like: "Don't forget to put the resident's bed down after care", "Don't forget to put the side rails up", and all that kind of stuff. This is the ABC's of CNA work and I've been faithfully doing that since I've started (I even double check to make sure the residents are in a safe position before I leave). This is starting to annoy me very much and I even told them that I always remember to do those things and that doesn't seem to make a difference to them. They keep on pestering me about these things.

I don't understand what in Sam Hill's is going on here? I mean, when I started out I really had to struggle to prove to my fellow aides that I could do the job, and they eventually respected me for it, but now it seems like things are going backwards. I really hate it when people act like I don't know what I'm doing (especially the things I've been doing all along with no problem). What boggles my brain is that the aides who were bragging me up saying I was doing an excellent job are now acting like I just walked in from off the streets. Why would they change their minds like this?

I'm trying to figure out what I've done to cause this mess, cause everything was fine before.

I'm still a little shy and a little awkward but I'm doing my best to overcome them with experience I'm gaining at my job.

Has anyone been where I am now and does anyone have any suggestions on what to do here?

I'm thinking about quitting my job but I really don't want to leave it because I've come so far in the profession I've chosen.

Quoting from a song by Jimmy Dean: What in Sam Hill's Is Going On?!

[amoLucia]

I'm not quite sure exactly WHO is questioning your skills (unless I missed it). But as for me, please know that some people just CAN'T turn off 'reminding' others. It goes with my auto-teaching behaviors.

I RN-graduated in the '70's. In all that time since, I've been staff, supervisor, HN, teacher of CNAs, nsg students and Staff Development. Even to my peer RNs and supervisors, I just 'remind' them out loud, too. And just as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know THEY KNOW JUST AS WELL AS I DO!!! I just apologize and try to suck my words back.

I just do it - like second nature. I'm not being smarty-pants or cockey. I'm certainly NOT trying to be superior. I'm just trying to be helpful so they don't omit something and get in trouble. Kind of like an automatic "God bless you" when there's a sneeze.

So unless you're sensing something else that is really mean-spirited..... I use 'remind' because I'm not trying to teach or catch somebody doing something wrong. My 'remindees' usually say to me "I knooooow" and the "knooooow" is usually sing-songy. So I can hear their annoyance like you feel - I can only apologize. I am a 'reminder' like you talk about. And everybody is a 'remindee' - CNA or nurse.

Personally, no offence meant!

But I do have to tell you. I most freq do this when I work with someone new-ish that I haven't come to know or fully trust yet. AFTER I come to know them, I tend to 'remind' them less often. But it still slips out on occ.

[Hishands66]

Hmmmm....Never really thought of that. I guess I was getting stressed because it's been happening constantly when it never happened before. Especially from those who trained me and who trusted in me. Perhaps you're right. Maybe they are doing that just to be helpful and not to drive me crazy. And like you said about your own experience as a "reminder", maybe it is second nature to them.

I guess I can thank them when they remind me and keep in mind that there may have been times when I unconsciously remind them of something too in their profession. (think...think...think...)

Anyway, thank you for the "tough love" comment, it really made me think about my situation.

:)

[amoLucia]

To OP - You are most welcome. Like I said, the reminder just comes out. I truly wish I didn't do it so often absent-mindedly.

My 'remindees' usually just say to me "I got it". And I respond "yeah, I know you do. Sorry."

I've been in supervisory positions for a long time and as such I am responsible for those that work 'my watch'. Likewise, if I delegate something to someone, I am responsible also to know that it gets done and I check for completion. I need to know what gets done, or else I need to know a reason why not (because I have to answer why not to the higher ups).

With my peer nurses, I'm watching out also.

Sometimes I sound like a nag! But I don't mean to.

But just know, that I have followed behind some very good staff and on occasion, I do find a problem. Like the head of the bed is too low (to my liking) for a Gtube pt. Or a call bell is just a little bit out of reach. Or a nurse leaves a flush IV syringe at the bedside. It happens.

Maybe your peer CNAs have seen problems with other CNAs that they work with. So they're in my habit of just reminding everyone. I'd just give them the benefit of the doubt.

[RNlove17]

I'm an RN who works per diem on a floor i used to work FT on. One of the other nurses is ALWAYS reminding me of basic things, he never did that when I was FT. Like "make sure you get your meds passed by 6 or you'll be running behind" (my answer - um I already finished lol). It is super annoying, but I honestly think he forgets I was FT there before and thinks I'm a new per diem or something. I just ignore him and think he's an airhead to myself :)

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

It has nothing to do with not trusting you, OP. It has everything to do with habit. And it can be annoying, however, a "thanks, I won't forget" and let it be.

Some people think out loud. Still others have to document about safety. And reminding you will also remind you to doucment that part of your care as well. Some others are always in the teacher mode, and will remind on a lot of things, it is part of what they do.

Now if they were saying "you need to go in and do peri care, turn and repo resident in room 22. Then I will come check to see if you did it right" THEN I would think something else was amiss. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

There is an incident that triggered the change to ..."the aides who were bragging me up saying I was doing an excellent job are now acting like I just walked in from off the streets."

Approach someone you trust, and find out what that was.

You will then be able to analyze that, and perform damage control.

[Delicate Flower]

Why not come out and ask them, next time they remind you, if there is a reason that all the sudden they feel the need to do so?

Maybe someone who is not you made that mistake, and now they are all just trying to look out for each other and you? Maybe someone fell, and they are trying to prevent it from happening in the future?

Have you maybe been correcting them or reminding them to do something, and now they are sarcastically just giving you a taste of your own medicine? Honestly, it sounds to me like they are feeling threatened by you, the newbie, and now they are trying to put you back in your place. If that is the case, I think the best thing you could do is just shrug it off. You could say something like "Thanks! I could never forget such an important safety measure! I always double and triple check!"