Nursing & Depression

[carpe_de_em]

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant.

I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. Now I am totally burned out, on major meds, and am seeking disability d/t depression/anxiety.

I beleive years of long hours, high stress, high expectations and little appreciation (from management, not patients) has contributed to this.

How many other jobs consider you a tratior b/c you call in sick? And trying to get off for a sick child is an unforgivable sin. How many other jobs want you to work overtime on the days you are scheduled, call you at all hours of the night or day when you are off, first pleading w/ you to come in, then laying a guilt trip on you if you say "NO!" And let's not forget the mandatory inservices and CEU's that take time away from your family.

If any profession should understand the importance of the individuals' physical, mental, social and spiritual self it should be nursing--after all we are taught in nursing school about treating the patient as a whole, not just a disease! Why don't we treat our staff the same way.

Anyone out there in the same boat?

[RN-2006]

I think untill you've personally been hit by depression, you can't fully understand what it feels like. I used to be able to go out, do all the fun stuff like Tom mentioned, eat well, sleep well, yadda yadda yadda....

...thank you for sharing your story and let me start by saying I completely agree with your sentiments that unless you've suffered with true depression (I'm not talking about occasional blues), then you cannot possibly understand what sort of hell those sufferers endure with it.

It was almost one year ago to the day for me when my life was turned completely upside down by stress and depression. I am normally a very outgoing, upbeat and energetic, happily married mother of 3. But last year when I started nursing school, things just got too stressful for me. Unfortunately I didn't realize how bad it was getting and ended up having a major anxiety-related breakdown. You're telling me it changes your life. I continued having panic attacks and was scared to death to leave my house. I withdrew from nursing school and worked on getting my life back. It took months of treatment - meds, talk therapy, meditation, etc. to begin to feel like myself again.

Here I am a year later and have regained much of my old self. I am back in nursing school and am doing fine so far, besides a couple of small episodes here and there. But you must take one day at a time, right?

Thanks again for sharing your story and if anyone else out there can relate to depression or anxiety, please feel free to post to me. There is strength in numbers!

RN-2006

[ZZTopRN, BSN, RN]

Howdy yall

from deep in the heat of texas

I dont understand why so many people are on drugs for so called or alledged depression.. I think its way overplayed in the news, the medias and everything else.

Basic things I do when Im a little down

1> I play golf

2> I exercise

3> I eat and sleep well

4> I get laid, excuse the language

5> I go dancing

6> I go to a movie

7> I go to a comedy club

8. Remember little problems are actually no problems, and all problems are little problems.

doo wah ditty

How old are you? Life hasn't thrown you any curves? Loss of job, critical illness, death of child, financial devastation through no fault of your own? Are you always guareeteed of a good lay? Just a little girl with lots of money to do fun things? No responsibilities?

What kind of nursing do you do? doo wah ditty, do you deal with seriously ill or dying patients. If so, do you just "doo wah ditty?" Remember, little problems are no problems???? Where did you get your pHd?

I resent your attitude towards your fellow nurses who work so hard to take care of others and the toll it sometimes takes on them. Hopefully you will never become ill and need one of those wonderful nurses that give so much of themselves for others.

mv

[RN-2006]

How old are you? Life hasn't thrown you any curves? Loss of job, critical illness, death of child, financial devastation through no fault of your own? Are you always guareeteed of a good lay? Just a little girl with lots of money to do fun things? No responsibilities?

What kind of nursing do you do? doo wah ditty, do you deal with seriously ill or dying patients. If so, do you just "doo wah ditty?" Remember, little problems are no problems???? Where did you get your pHd?

I resent your attitude towards your fellow nurses who work so hard to take care of others and the toll it sometimes takes on them. Hopefully you will never become ill and need one of those wonderful nurses that give so much of themselves for others.

mv

Much to my disgust I received the above post from you today. I shared a personal story with others in hopes that it would help them deal with their own struggles with depression. What you wrote to me didn't even pertain to what I had posted. I believe you meant the post for the user "teeituptom" - you know the one with the ignorant remarks comparing depression to the likes of having a bad hair day or or finding a fly in his soup - I believe his cureall was to go golfing or some crap like that...

...you know, the "doo wah ditty" crap?...I am not that person!!! I am an extremely compassionate individual who is in nursing because I want to help those who need it. Please reread the previous posts and you'll see that mine was probably not the one you wanted to address. However, the other person's uncaring, less than empathetic remarks ticked me off too!

-RN-2006

[ZZTopRN, BSN, RN]

ing

Howdy yall

from deep in the heat of texas

I dont understand why so many people are on drugs for so called or alledged depression.. I think its way overplayed in the news, the medias and everything else.

Basic things I do when Im a little down

1> I play golf

2> I exercise

3> I eat and sleep well

4> I get laid, excuse the language

5> I go dancing

6> I go to a movie

7> I go to a comedy club

8. Remember little problems are actually no problems, and all problems are little problems.

doo wah ditty

doo wah ditty to you too!

mv

[LadyMadonna]

I suffer from major depression which has gotten worse as I have gotten older but it wasn't depression brought on by the nursing profession.

If nursing makes you depressed I guess there is another option: get out of nursing. I personally dont' know many jobs where you can work with the kind of flexibility you have in nursing. I choose to work PRN right now and it is much nicer than full-time. Being PRN I feel like I am calling the shots, when you are full-time I notice they treat you like they own you, and I can't stand that.

So they can keep their so-called insurance and benefits (the administrator said the day the nurses at his facility got 401K was the day he dropped dead, anyway). They want me to work for them they will kiss my rear, I won't kiss theirs.

[directcare4me]

Much to my disgust I received the above post from you today. I shared a personal story with others in hopes that it would help them deal with their own struggles with depression. What you wrote to me didn't even pertain to what I had posted. I believe you meant the post for the user "teeituptom" - you know the one with the ignorant remarks comparing depression to the likes of having a bad hair day or or finding a fly in his soup - I believe his cureall was to go golfing or some crap like that...

...you know, the "doo wah ditty" crap?...I am not that person!!! I am an extremely compassionate individual who is in nursing because I want to help those who need it. Please reread the previous posts and you'll see that mine was probably not the one you wanted to address. However, the other person's uncaring, less than empathetic remarks ticked me off too!

-RN-2006

Dear RN-2006,

I just joined this forum a couple or so weeks ago. At first I was confused because I was receiving emails from people responding to "my" post. I finally figured out that any posted message on a forum that I had posted on was automatically emailed to me. These messages showed up in my box as "so-and-so has posted a reply to your message", or something like that. I thought at first that these were messages in DIRECT response to something which I had said. It took a few days, but I finally figured out that the emailed messages did not include the quote which the poster was responding to. You received a message which was actually posted in reply to something someone else said. Just reading the email would have seemed very insulting, but the writer was actually writing those words to someone else. When you look at the thread on the forum, you see the actual messages that people are responding to.

I was touched by your initial post, and admire your strength in overcoming adversity. Depression is a horrible place to be, and is something you cannot explain to those who haven't felt it. Glad you are winning.

[driftwood52]

I totally know where you are coming from. I have been a Critical Care RN since 1986, have seen it all, truthfully am a bit jaded and cynical. That is not my major problem though, I too have suffered from depression since 1991- first a full blown Clinical Depression (back then I took Doxepin) an old antidepressant. It seemed to quit working in 1997, so my doctor prescribed Paxil, which worked great at the beginning.

Since then I have been through a divorce, the loss of my family of "procreation", which broke my heart beyond repair (I believe). My parents say I'm living in the past too much, but unless you have experience the break up of your family, security etcc....well.....

Back to my depression....it has been classified over the years as "dysthymic disorder" (generalized low grade depression) and anhedonia - inability to experience pleasure. Nothing in life really brings me pleasure except my dogs and traveling out West to the Rockies and finally to Alaska, but I feel like I can't move because of my aging parents and my adult children who live nearby.

My main reason for posting is to say that last Friday (week ago) I had to euthanize my 14 year old Brittany Spaniel. She has been my constant companion for 14 years, such a sweet dog, loving and intuitive....her passing has devastated me, I cry every day, took two days off of work, but have to go back tomorrow. I feel like I am losing my fragile grip on sanity. I'm trying to cry when it comes over me, as my therapist told me I have a long history of repressing my feelings. (Had a childhood of severe emotional abuse) - so I take my Paxil and today I suddenly had this feeling of pure "terror", nothing specific was going on.....I was trying to catch up on laundry and clean the kitchen - this feeling scared me so much that I thougt of going to the ER, it felt like my mind was gone, I was going to scream and not stop, I was afraid to call on my family for fear they would think "lets put her in the hospital". I am the only medical professional in my family and they "freak" out over things. Anyway, I took an extra paxil and then went to bed (where I shut out the world). I know I am under great stress: financial, aging parents, a grown son with alcohol addiction and then the grief over my loving dog has totall sent me over the edge. I have totally isolated myself, I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Surfing the internet has been some help and I'm glad I found this site. What should I do next?

[mstigerlily]

I have always been surprised at the number of people in general who are on antidepressants. I find it amazingly high in the general population. I hadn't noticed it being higher in nurses.

Personally, I've never felt the need for antidepressants and can't see myself doing so but of course would never say never. As far as getting called in, I don't even answer the phone when they call on my days off. That way, I don't have to feel guilty.

Melissa

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant.

I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. Now I am totally burned out, on major meds, and am seeking disability d/t depression/anxiety.

I beleive years of long hours, high stress, high expectations and little appreciation (from management, not patients) has contributed to this.

How many other jobs consider you a tratior b/c you call in sick? And trying to get off for a sick child is an unforgivable sin. How many other jobs want you to work overtime on the days you are scheduled, call you at all hours of the night or day when you are off, first pleading w/ you to come in, then laying a guilt trip on you if you say "NO!" And let's not forget the mandatory inservices and CEU's that take time away from your family.

If any profession should understand the importance of the individuals' physical, mental, social and spiritual self it should be nursing--after all we are taught in nursing school about treating the patient as a whole, not just a disease! Why don't we treat our staff the same way.

Anyone out there in the same boat?

[grannynurse FNP student]

I totally know where you are coming from. I have been a Critical Care RN since 1986, have seen it all, truthfully am a bit jaded and cynical. That is not my major problem though, I too have suffered from depression since 1991- first a full blown Clinical Depression (back then I took Doxepin) an old antidepressant. It seemed to quit working in 1997, so my doctor prescribed Paxil, which worked great at the beginning.

Since then I have been through a divorce, the loss of my family of "procreation", which broke my heart beyond repair (I believe). My parents say I'm living in the past too much, but unless you have experience the break up of your family, security etcc....well.....

Back to my depression....it has been classified over the years as "dysthymic disorder" (generalized low grade depression) and anhedonia - inability to experience pleasure. Nothing in life really brings me pleasure except my dogs and traveling out West to the Rockies and finally to Alaska, but I feel like I can't move because of my aging parents and my adult children who live nearby.

My main reason for posting is to say that last Friday (week ago) I had to euthanize my 14 year old Brittany Spaniel. She has been my constant companion for 14 years, such a sweet dog, loving and intuitive....her passing has devastated me, I cry every day, took two days off of work, but have to go back tomorrow. I feel like I am losing my fragile grip on sanity. I'm trying to cry when it comes over me, as my therapist told me I have a long history of repressing my feelings. (Had a childhood of severe emotional abuse) - so I take my Paxil and today I suddenly had this feeling of pure "terror", nothing specific was going on.....I was trying to catch up on laundry and clean the kitchen - this feeling scared me so much that I thougt of going to the ER, it felt like my mind was gone, I was going to scream and not stop, I was afraid to call on my family for fear they would think "lets put her in the hospital". I am the only medical professional in my family and they "freak" out over things. Anyway, I took an extra paxil and then went to bed (where I shut out the world). I know I am under great stress: financial, aging parents, a grown son with alcohol addiction and then the grief over my loving dog has totall sent me over the edge. I have totally isolated myself, I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Surfing the internet has been some help and I'm glad I found this site. What should I do next?

I'm not sure what your education and background is, in mental health issues. The death of a loved one, even a pet, can bring on depression. It is how you deal with it and how long it last that you should be concerned about. If you are still under the care of a psychiatrist, get in touch with him/her. A few visits might help or a change in the dose of your medication. The internet is a great place but it should not be used in place of professional help.

Get some help. You are under a great deal of stress and pressure. You cannot handle it all by yourself.

Grannynurse :balloons:

[driftwood52]

I'm not sure what your education and background is, in mental health issues. The death of a loved one, even a pet, can bring on depression. It is how you deal with it and how long it last that you should be concerned about. If you are still under the care of a psychiatrist, get in touch with him/her. A few visits might help or a change in the dose of your medication. The internet is a great place but it should not be used in place of professional help.

Get some help. You are under a great deal of stress and pressure. You cannot handle it all by yourself.

Grannynurse :balloons:

Thanks for your reply. I agree I need to talk to my psychiatrist, but thought I could ride it out until my appointment on 7/18......but I should call him on Monday. I have some background in mental health issues- from my family, my brother is bi-polar (and just had a mega-mania episode), my sister and I have become the one's to take him to the doctor etc., as my parents are older. His illness will be with me for my lifetime, and dealing with him is another source of exhaustion. My father's family has a long history of undiagnosed depression and some diagnosed schizophrenia(my first cousin).

I am glad I found this site, it is good to let it out. As I said, I'm a master at repressing my feelings, but this time I just can't.

Not to bore you, but a friend of mine (Emergency Room RN) for 24 years, just passed away last week, he was at the beach with his grown children, riding a wave in, the wave slammed his head into a sand bar and apparently them flipped his body over, he suffered C2-C3 severed spinal cord (Christopher Reeve injury)......after four days on the ventilator he asked to be taken off all meds to clear his head, then discussed/explained to his large family that he could not live this way.....he asked the hospital/doctors/ethics committee to take him off the ventilator - he passed away in 25 minutes, with his family by his side. He was an awsome nurse, our entire hospital has been a tomb. So I think his death, then my dog dying, has just been too much at once. Sigh

[grannynurse FNP student]

Thanks for your reply. I agree I need to talk to my psychiatrist, but thought I could ride it out until my appointment on 7/18......but I should call him on Monday. I have some background in mental health issues- from my family, my brother is bi-polar (and just had a mega-mania episode), my sister and I have become the one's to take him to the doctor etc., as my parents are older. His illness will be with me for my lifetime, and dealing with him is another source of exhaustion. My father's family has a long history of undiagnosed depression and some diagnosed schizophrenia(my first cousin).

I am glad I found this site, it is good to let it out. As I said, I'm a master at repressing my feelings, but this time I just can't.

Not to bore you, but a friend of mine (Emergency Room RN) for 24 years, just passed away last week, he was at the beach with his grown children, riding a wave in, the wave slammed his head into a sand bar and apparently them flipped his body over, he suffered C2-C3 severed spinal cord (Christopher Reeve injury)......after four days on the ventilator he asked to be taken off all meds to clear his head, then discussed/explained to his large family that he could not live this way.....he asked the hospital/doctors/ethics committee to take him off the ventilator - he passed away in 25 minutes, with his family by his side. He was an awsome nurse, our entire hospital has been a tomb. So I think his death, then my dog dying, has just been too much at once. Sigh

I am so sorry about your friend. Please extend my sympathies to his family.

I to suffer from bi polar disorder but have ben well controled by medication for ten years. It is always so much easier to repress then deal with our feelings.

Granynurse

[sandiLa]

It sounds to me like you had a panic attack. I've had them since I was 18 yrs. old. I take Wellbutrin XL for them and Xanax PRN. They are the worst thing I've ever dealt with, mainly because you never know when they're going to happen. I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much stress right now. I certainly hope it gets better for you. Do you think you could change from Paxil and try something else if it's not working as well? I went through 4 before I found one that works.

Panic attacks can run your life. I know because I'm a new grad. (12/04) and didn't take boards until 5/05 because of it. I'm still not working but am trying to get a job at a local hospital hopefully this month. I'm scared to death because of anxiety but I'm so tired of letting it run my life.

I do believe you should speak to your Dr. about your meds. And if you have another episode like that I believe it's panic attacks.

Good luck to you with your issues and family and I'm so sorry about your dog. I have 2 and am very attached, they're like family.

Sandy

I totally know where you are coming from. I have been a Critical Care RN since 1986, have seen it all, truthfully am a bit jaded and cynical. That is not my major problem though, I too have suffered from depression since 1991- first a full blown Clinical Depression (back then I took Doxepin) an old antidepressant. It seemed to quit working in 1997, so my doctor prescribed Paxil, which worked great at the beginning.

Since then I have been through a divorce, the loss of my family of "procreation", which broke my heart beyond repair (I believe). My parents say I'm living in the past too much, but unless you have experience the break up of your family, security etcc....well.....

Back to my depression....it has been classified over the years as "dysthymic disorder" (generalized low grade depression) and anhedonia - inability to experience pleasure. Nothing in life really brings me pleasure except my dogs and traveling out West to the Rockies and finally to Alaska, but I feel like I can't move because of my aging parents and my adult children who live nearby.

My main reason for posting is to say that last Friday (week ago) I had to euthanize my 14 year old Brittany Spaniel. She has been my constant companion for 14 years, such a sweet dog, loving and intuitive....her passing has devastated me, I cry every day, took two days off of work, but have to go back tomorrow. I feel like I am losing my fragile grip on sanity. I'm trying to cry when it comes over me, as my therapist told me I have a long history of repressing my feelings. (Had a childhood of severe emotional abuse) - so I take my Paxil and today I suddenly had this feeling of pure "terror", nothing specific was going on.....I was trying to catch up on laundry and clean the kitchen - this feeling scared me so much that I thougt of going to the ER, it felt like my mind was gone, I was going to scream and not stop, I was afraid to call on my family for fear they would think "lets put her in the hospital". I am the only medical professional in my family and they "freak" out over things. Anyway, I took an extra paxil and then went to bed (where I shut out the world). I know I am under great stress: financial, aging parents, a grown son with alcohol addiction and then the grief over my loving dog has totall sent me over the edge. I have totally isolated myself, I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Surfing the internet has been some help and I'm glad I found this site. What should I do next?