Nursing & Depression - page 7

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant. I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. ... Read More

  1. by   mario_ragucci
    Almost all the nurses i work with are on anti-depressants.
    Gulp ! :-)

    I guess it would be hard to discuss, and people could also bond right away (a positive thing) when they got the blues and are on meds. Its still a mystical feeling I am imagining to be on these meds. Does it make driving easier? Can you feel it when your driving, or doing other fine motor skills task? I know not all drugs effect the same way too.

    Awww, I would love to have twins ! You are a lucky damn person!! If tryingto do everything gives ya grief, just be more you and let your feelings be known. How long can you hold your breath? I'm sorry :-(
  2. by   Youda
    Once when I was working in labor and delivery a soon to deliver pt. asked me if I had any children. I said no, at that time. She said, "well, how can you be my nurse when you don't know what I'm going through?" I said, "I don't have to have cancer to be a nurse to a pt. with cancer, and I don't have to have children to be your nurse today."

    But, to answer Mario's questions, you don't have to have depression to care for a pt. with depression; but you do have to have depression to really understand it, unfortunately. Mario, this may just be one of those things you're gonna have to be grateful you don't know about.
  3. by   carpe_de_em
    ABOUT THE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THE MEDS MAKE YOU FEEL. MANY PEOPLE WONDER IF WE GET A 'HIGH' OR 'BUZZ'. THE ANSWER IS NO. THESE MEDS HELP ME FEEL NORMAL. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO USE XANAX AS A STREET DRUG AND SAY THEY GET A HIGH OFF OF IF. BUT FOR ME IT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T TAKE IT. MY HANDS AND LEGS SHAKE UNCONTROLABLY, I GET TEARFULL AND CRY CONSTANTLY, I CAN BECOME SUICIDAL. I HAVE A MAJOR PANIC ATTACK. THE CELEXA IS THE SAME WAY, I DON'T GET HIGH, I FEEL MORE NORMAL. WITHOUT IT I WOULD FEEL LIKE I WAS SINKING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, WITH ALL THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON ME. THERE IS NO ENERGY OR REASON TO TRY TO FIGHT MY WAY UP. I JUST CONTINUE TO SINK.

    AS I SAID BEFORE, THE BEST DEFINITION IF DEPRESSION IS "CANCER OF THE SOUL"

    IT ROBS YOU OF ALL HOPE, YOU SEE NO OPTIONS, NO REASON TO LIVE, NO POSSIBILITY OF THINGS GETTING BETTER.

    YOU SEE ONLY FAILURE AND FEEL ONLY THE PAIN OF NOTHINGNESS.

    IT IS A DEADLY DISEASE!!!
  4. by   fulwood
    "IT ROBS YOU OF ALL HOPE, YOU SEE NO OPTIONS, NO REASON TO LIVE, NO POSSIBILITY OF THINGS GETTING BETTER.

    YOU SEE ONLY FAILURE AND FEEL ONLY THE PAIN OF NOTHINGNESS. "

    carpe_de_em - in those few words you have summed up how I have been feeling for a long time. I have been crying a lot at my job, wonder what is the point in continuing on with things etc. etc. I hate myself but taking anti-depressants helps. It does not solve my problems - need counselling for that but it does make my mood and day bearable. I feel now I am in a black hole that I can't get out of and keep moving further down into the black hole.. Too anyone who has not suffered thru depression rest assured those of who have/had wish we could just shake this monster off our backs but we can't.. I hate having to start my days off popping a pill - but if I don't I can't even start my day right now...
  5. by   Leeny
    This is my first time here and I'd like to respond to this thread about depression and administrative support.
    I held my last nursing position for 12 years at the same facility and became what I would call a very sad person. I was highly stressed in my job and felt I needed another nurse to share the workload. I spoke with my administrator and DON several times to no avail. At one point last July I had emergency surgery for something I "let go" for too long. When I called my DON from the emergency room she inquired how long would I be out? Never asked how I was doing. Never once called during my recuperation time off. I returned to my job only to find more duties were to be added. During the next 10 months I became so depressed I found it hard to even get out of bed in the morning and every little thing put me on edge. I approached my Administrator and Don again citing the stress of my position and the need for help and put in writing this time with all my facts. I received my request back with a big 8x11 "NO" scratched through it. I brought that home, discussed my situation with my husband (who by the way informed me I had to do something because he didn't know me anymore and was tired of my 55-60 work weeks, telephone calls at all hours, etc) and decided to resign my position. In my resignation I stated I was leaving due to the stressors imposed upon me were seriously affecting my health and well being and would remain until a suitable replacement was found. The next day my administrator approached me and said "I read your resignation again and think you should finish what your doing and just leave now so you can take care of your health and well being". SO YOU THINK ADMINISTRATION IS SUPPORTIVE?
    The good news is I'm working at another facility in the same position with much less hours (40) and stress and my marriage is like it used to be. So why do I feel like I did something wrong? Is this part of depression too? Not as much as before but I still feel somewhat sad-??
    Other nurses from my old facility are interviewing were I am now and guess what? There are three nurses in my previous position, 2 full time and one part time!!
    Last edit by Leeny on Sep 8, '02
  6. by   micro
    This is a very tough subject for me. Have talked about it as openly as I can, because I am so tired of seeing the stigma that exists and how it effects people's lives and people's perception of this disease process, along with other related processes.

    It is tough. Questions of does talk therapy help with a chemical imbalance.....? Should you have this or that career......? If you state that you have depression, does that label.....or is it something you move through and you have controlled depression.........as in if you had diabetes(you can have controlled diabetes)...........Are there things you can do to lessen the stressors in your life to decrease depression? Once on do you always stay on antidepressants? Why does a person with depression, still feel guilty about saying they have depression?

    many, many, many, many, many ??????????????????
    and there are answers.........some are universal........
    and many are individual to the person that deals with this d.........
    it adds a definite detour into this journey we all are on, in our individual paths......if it crosses our way......
    just as much other also adds detours.......

    it is what you do with what you have......
    that shows your merit, your character, and your worth....
    no word, no diagnosis defines you.....
    but it is difficult to remember this........

    Do we look differently at a person with heart disease?
    Do we look differently at a person with diabetes?
    Do we look .....

    point enough.....
    rest I edited out as I was typing, because much of this I am saying to myself........

    but last question.......
    with all this said,
    Do we look differently at ourselves?
    Even though we say we don't?
    It starts with you.
    #1

    sorry, all
    micro may just be talking to micro in public.......

    luv to all
    good night
  7. by   mario_ragucci
    You don't have to feel that other people feel your depression, and don't want you to feel down. And, in the same stroke, I guess its okay to feel down if you want to also.
    Especially the imadgry your details are concerning the feelings of depression. Sometimes I get VERY depressed when all the music on radio in portland is all repeats. I need to get a cd for the bike, but its a hassle :-( I felt like a sinking rock when loved ones died. We all sink in number of heartbeats you have left. They are your heartbeats; dance! Sitting and watching is okay too :-) The all purpose cure with depression would be a walk through a cemetary (that you don't know anyone in).
    I am happy to hear people are aided by these meds, and bow like a humble peeyon to the groups of people who researched the chemistry of all this. I am depressed I can't comprehend what is happening :-( I'm sorry (consumed with guilt) :-(

  8. by   KarafromPhilly
    !!!CAUTION Morbid Post Ahead!!!

    When I was very ill, and I saw a cemetery, usually it made me jealous of the dead people buried there. They had gotten through life, and now they were done, and they had earned their eternal rest. They had gotten through it. I figured suicide wouldn't be quite the same. (Of course, that didn't stop me from attempting suicide a few years later when I was even more unbearably miserable.)

    Mario, I just had to respond to your cemetery thing above.
  9. by   Youda
    The good thing is that if you live long enough, you finally figure out that if you just wait it out, eventually things will get better. I'm not saying they won't get a whole lot worse before they get better, but eventually.
  10. by   mamabear
    This might be slightly off the topic, but what the hell:
    I've been on sick leave since the end of July. I had the poor taste to have two seizures at work, literally knocking myself senseless. Once I was cleared to return to work, I had an attack of pancreatitis that put me in the hospital for 11 days. To add insult to injury, I had an ERCP, after which I had ERCP-induced pancreatitis and hemorrhaging (1500-2000ml). I'm still waiting to return to work, and I'm so damn depressed I can't hardly stand it All the antidepressants and talk therapy in the world don't seem to be putting a dent in this I haven't considered suicide, thank God: I think I'll stay around out of spite But sometimes I have all I can do to drag my butt out of bed.
  11. by   mario_ragucci
    Originally posted by KarafromPhilly
    !!!CAUTION Morbid Post Ahead!!!

    When I was very ill, and I saw a cemetery, usually it made me jealous of the dead people buried there. They had gotten through life, and now they were done, and they had earned their eternal rest.
    But rest is something only an alive person can do. Deathis the disassembly of what was once an organized mass of electrons, protons and neutrons, spinning on different axis' and at different speeds. I hope I don't sound like a budha with my high talk. :-(

    Depression is a personal understanding. Being depressed ain't so bad; it's the things you do, or don't do, when your depressed that can sort of make you sad in the long run. Guilt, regret, scorn, bitterness...all that.

    When I take a bath and fill the tub, I imagine that I have opened an artery or something, and let the water out and feel the water slowly go down, and feel my body get heavier and heavier. Suicide is very scary, and I would be panicing if I ever initiated it.

    The meds help with depression and reduce suicide. Mario is so fortunate to not have depression and wants to help/understand others with it. Thank you
  12. by   ruthless
    i personally think that the govt should look at putting antidepressant medication into the water supply - imagine how much happier and more calm everyone would be...it would make an interesting study proposal....who knows where it would lead?! would we continue doing what we do?

    work is love made visible
  13. by   sjoe
    ruthless--they could call it "soma"

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