Nelligolitely, I wanted to thank you for writing your email. Like you I have extremely low self-esteem, have suffered from depression and do not always handle stress well. I am over-cautious as I doubt my own judgment so double check everything! When I lock my house at nite to go to bed I will check 3-4 times that I have locked doors that I know I have already locked! I think for me a lot of it has do to with not having as a young child anyone in my corner giving me positive reinforcement. Unlike you though I am a coward and have never pursed a nursing degree even though I would love to. I love the variety, the sciences, the people and am well-educated on pros and cons of current nursing conditions. But for all of the above reasons I do not pursue nursing as a career.
I KNOW you have what it takes. I agree with all others that your orientation/preceptorship was less than desirable. Take some time for yourself and do not put all blame on yourself for errors made. Perhaps you need to look for another job. I have taken meds before for depresson and it helped me. I am not advocating it but something to consider...There are probably many places that will accept and give you the proper orientaiton that you require. Don't knock yourself - you hve come this far. Take time off and look at your options...Good luck