[color=#454545]hello all! so i just wanted to vent out my frustrations here. i have just recently graduated nursing school
and i couldn't be happier. it took me five grueling years of hard work and sacrifice to get this bsn, but i finally did it. of all the people in my life to bring me down from this amazing high; i never expected for it to be my own mother. she mentioned today how she's happy for me but it's 'too bad' i failed one of my nursing classes last year (causing me to graduate in five years instead of four). the word 'failed' conjures so many emotions of pain, embarrassment, and unworthiness. she made my life a living hell after i failed my fundamentals/med-surg class. she kept saying how i was too laxed and never took my studying seriously when in fact i did (i missed the passing grade by just 1 point). i cried for days and her constant talk of failure just brought my self esteem down to another level (i even had to see a psychologist to help me cope with my depression). though nursing wasn't my true passion from the start, i worked hard that semester to please my parents. i was then given a choice to continue nursing school or transfer to culinary school (my first love,haha), but i decided that i already made it too far into the program to give up and that i wanted to prove to them and most importantly to myself that i could graduate from nursing school and learn to love it.
[color=#454545]retaking that class second time around was life-changing. for the first time everything clicked and made sense! i understood lectures that were discussed in class and actually enjoyed them (well some, haha) , i was able to think critically and pass my exams, i had an excellent clinical instructor and looked forward to my clinicals every week (first time around my clinical instructor was so negative and nasty). in some way, i really do feel like failing that class was a blessing in disguise. [color=#454545]
[color=#454545]basically, my mother's not so motivating and supportive attitude brings out my insecurity. i was feeling positive and staring to prepare to start studying for the nclex when this happened. any advice/words of encouragement to help motivate me again?
[color=#454545]ps: i have a wonderful and loving mom, she just isn't great at expressing herself and censoring hurtful and negative things she says to my brother and i. i have told her several times that her saying these negative things hurts our feelings. she just brushes it off like it isn't a big deal