Help....I Can't Take it Anymore! - Nurses Coping with Stress

Do you have those days when the stress of your job just makes you want to scream?? Maybe you do scream....but hopefully not at your co-workers....and certainly not at your patients. But what do you do. Nurses Stress 101 Article Video

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We all know that nursing is a stressful profession. We don't own the market on stressful jobs. But the source of our job stresses come from a different source that may elevate us higher up the ladder. The consequences of us missing a deadline can be much greater than a business person who misses a deadline with a report. We are dealing with human lives.

We may forget the various levels of stress that nursing places on our bodies. Physically, our job can be very demanding with stresses placed on our muscles, resulting in various aches and pains. Mentally, we have to be on our toes, constantly alert, as we go through our day of multitasking......administering medications, caring for patients of different acuity levels, addressing questions from patients and families, etc. We feel the emotional impact of stress as we are continuously working in an environment where there is pain and sadness.

Sure there are other parts of our jobs that cause stress.......schedules, salaries, bosses, co-workers, etc. But, when you think about it.....the bottom line is the patient.....a human being. Providing competent and compassionate care to PEOPLE is at the very heart of nursing. The inability to do this in a manner that meets our personal and professional criteria is at the base of much of our stress.

Stress is pretty much a constant thing in our lives. Although stress usually carries a negative connotation, some stress is actually good, propelling us into positive action. Think about the stress of a code. I think you would agree that a code places stress on the body. However this stress....the fight or flight response.... actually forces us into action to try to save a life.

Let's continue to look at the code as our example. You know how you feel after the code. Your body is still in the fight mode. You are still in high gear. But what happens if the code is unsuccessful, or if you know the patient's outcome is very precarious. What if you are the one who has to deal with the family members. No one looks forward to that stressful situation. But, as professionals, we do our job and face the family.

Let's look at other stresses in our jobs. Staffing shortages are a major stressor these days. And what about changes in technology? You've just gotten used to one piece of technology, when someone (usually not a healthcare professional) decides to "upgrade". We could go on and on with this list. But these stresses interfere with our productivity, and negatively affect the level of care provided to the patient. And that causes inner turmoil as we feel the emotional strain of not being able to meet our own criteria as a professional.

Nurses are great at dealing with the stresses that come along. There is the belief that nurses should be able to cope with anything that comes along in their personal or professional domains. That comes with our nursing degree.....right?????? After all.....nurses are super humans.

This type of belief puts nurses in a box and makes it difficult for them to admit they are stressed to the max. Even though our friends and relatives who know us well try to tell us to "take care of ourselves", we try to carry on. We keep on until we get to the point where we want to scream......"I can't take it anymore!!!"

Nurses need to realize that showing signs of stress is only normal. Nurse are, after all, part of the human race. There are limits to the amount of pressures we should be expected to endure. Admitting to being stressed does not mean that we are not coping. Just the opposite. When we realize our limitations, we can then start to look for better ways to cope more effectively with our stressors. If we can take care of ourselves, we will be better able to care for others.

Have you gotten to the point where you just want to scream?

What are the major stressors in your job?

What are some effective ways you have found to deal with these stresses?

Lately I have been feeling that my stress is building up as a feeling of isolation from any of my non nurse friends and family. I have zero patience for any problem that comes up in their lives because nothing in my mind is worth complaining about when compared to what my sick, dying, in pain, icu patients are going through. I see everything through this lens which at first seemed good because it made me appreciate things but now seems bad as if I'm the crazy cynical person harping on the same thing all the time as an excuse not to care about life.

I can't even begin to get my non nurse friends to understand this and when I try they just get that scared look on their faces in anticipation of me possibly telling them yet another sad/gross story that they will laugh off because they don't know what else to do and have no real idea how awful the real situation was.

On my days off I try everything to decompress, I'm getting my hair done this afternoon but everything I do just seems so temporary. I feel so alone and I'm surprised to find myself feeling a lot more anger than I ever have. I've been a nurse for two and a half years and this is the worst it's ever been. We've had a significant increase in the number of pts passing away in the last few weeks so this may be part of it too. Anyone have any suggestions?

Am I alone??, but I hate bedside nursing!! I cringe everyday I walk on the unit, I feel terrible that i feel this way , but its just sooo stressful and no one cares. 10 pts!! and documenting, assessing, prioritizing , sometimes I go home and don't even know the names of my pts. A non -supportive manager, who is just worried about how her floor is the best and we better make sure it stays that way

AmandaTheNurse said:
I was once there. With the never-ending stress from patients and annoying family members, disorganization, short staffing and bad management, and dramas among coworkers, I grew to hate my nursing job in just short 5 months. So, fast forward, it's been almost 3 years since I joined this profession and worked for the same hospital. I have to say striving for a work-life balanced life doesn't seem an impossible goal after all ? So what I do?

1) I stay positive. I choose to mingle with only confident and cheerful staff who always stay upbeat.

2) I master my prioritization and organization skill. Because I want to have a proper break and to go home on time.

3) I ask for help. I'm no saint. I never think that I can get all the jobs done alone. Honestly, attempting to be a hero and doing it all yourself is just pride talking.

4) I don't do callbacks. I don't work double shifts. When I'm off, I'm off.

5) I'm lucky to have some nice and funny coworkers and a good nurse manager as a team. The floor is busy everyday, but we still make jokes and laugh and have pot-luck together. That makes work less stressful.

6) I take good good care of myself. Example: I would give myself a five-minute short tea break, even if the floor is very busy and I have no time to have a proper break. Go to the pantry, sit down, have some toasts and a cup of orange juice. When I'm in-charge of the floor, I make sure all the staff have their proper break, finish their food before coming out of the staff room. Starving myself and working my butt off just doesn't do the justice. I too have the right to take care of my health. How am I going to care for others while I am emotionally and physically sick?

7) I don't take things personally. The moment I sign off, I leave my work at work. Whoever gives me an unreasonable hard time, I do the old trick--this ear in, that ear out. If I took every criticism or mistake personally, I would have not just committed career suicide but real suicide.

? I give myself the credit I deserve. When a patient thanks me, I always accept it and say, "you're welcome." Because I indeed have done a good job and I deserve the recognition and gratification! :laugh:

9) I divide my annual leaves and take them 3 times a year. I have 3 major long vacations and 2 mini long weekend-like holidays. It works very well for me. This way I allow myself to have constant refreshment instead of saving all the goods in the end and then realizing before that time arrives, I burn out.

10) I have a life outside of nursing. Nursing is my profession, but it's not the whole of who I am. I don't use what I do for a living to validate my values and self-worth.

11) I keep in touch with friends and family. Surround myself with smiling, positive people who have absolutely nothing to do with work.

12) If I had a real bad day at work today, I would do something such as yoga, watch a movie, talk to close friends... whatever to make myself feel better.

There you go. They work very well for me ?

Great stuff in there. I agree about the breaks. A short break re-energizes. It's not...can you afford that 5 minute break...it's can you afford not to take a 5 min. break imo.

yeorgarn said:
Lately I have been feeling that my stress is building up as a feeling of isolation from any of my non nurse friends and family. I have zero patience for any problem that comes up in their lives because nothing in my mind is worth complaining about when compared to what my sick, dying, in pain, icu patients are going through. I see everything through this lens which at first seemed good because it made me appreciate things but now seems bad as if I'm the crazy cynical person harping on the same thing all the time as an excuse not to care about life.

I can't even begin to get my non nurse friends to understand this and when I try they just get that scared look on their faces in anticipation of me possibly telling them yet another sad/gross story that they will laugh off because they don't know what else to do and have no real idea how awful the real situation was.

On my days off I try everything to decompress, I'm getting my hair done this afternoon but everything I do just seems so temporary. I feel so alone and I'm surprised to find myself feeling a lot more anger than I ever have. I've been a nurse for two and a half years and this is the worst it's ever been. We've had a significant increase in the number of pts passing away in the last few weeks so this may be part of it too. Anyone have any suggestions?

I'm sorry you are going through this rough patch and having trouble connecting with family and friends outside of work. My best hunch judging by your post/ tone is that you are a very caring nurse and a great employee (one of those "over, above, and beyond" types). Not to generalize, or speculate too much, but individuals with this personality type tend to internalize stress. Does your company have an EAP program you can check in with? I'd start there...an EAP rep is bound to offer you some good resources to check out.

I'm not a nurse and it's amazing to see what all you hard working and devoted nurses put up with. My suggestion for anyone dealing with the stresses of their job, is to work on cultivating a rich life outside of work so that there's always something to look forward to and to take your mind off of whatever is going on in the workplace. Good luck to you all!

Seek professional counseling. It really does help.

Specializes in ICU,ER,med-Surg,Geri,Correctional.

THere's been several surveys and studies done on professions with the highest divorce rates. Among bartenders, entertainers and telemarketers, the nursing profession was one of them.

I hate my job right now. There I said it. I truly do. I've got every symptom of compassion fatigue and burnout that there is. I've even dealt with discrimination at my job by employee health and management about my bipolar disorder. They tried to get rid of me but they lost. On top of that I have other chronic medical issues. Most of my days off I'm so exhausted that I spend most of my time vegging in front of the tv and sleeping. The days that I do work, I sometimes am in tears at home before I have to leave to go to work because that's how badly I don't want to go. Thank goodness I have a great group of supportive coworkers. I try to just get there and concentrate on my patients, but I've gotten to the point where I really don't give a crap about their headache or abdominal pain or whatever damn complaint they are there for that pales in comparison to the things I have going on in my life. Sorry, I know it sounds callous, but this is where I am right now. I wish I could just take some time off, but I can't afford to. I'm reaching my breaking point here.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
blugreenh2o said:
I hate my job right now. There I said it. I truly do. I've got every symptom of compassion fatigue and burnout that there is. I've even dealt with discrimination at my job by employee health and management about my bipolar disorder. They tried to get rid of me but they lost. On top of that I have other chronic medical issues. Most of my days off I'm so exhausted that I spend most of my time vegging in front of the tv and sleeping. The days that I do work, I sometimes am in tears at home before I have to leave to go to work because that's how badly I don't want to go. Thank goodness I have a great group of supportive coworkers. I try to just get there and concentrate on my patients, but I've gotten to the point where I really don't give a crap about their headache or abdominal pain or whatever damn complaint they are there for that pales in comparison to the things I have going on in my life. Sorry, I know it sounds callous, but this is where I am right now. I wish I could just take some time off, but I can't afford to. I'm reaching my breaking point here.

Is there any chance you could use your vacation time or do FMLA until you can get back on a more even keel. Nursing is stressful even under the best of circumstances, but nursing with poorly-controlled bipolar (or any other mental disorder) can be pure, unmitigated hell. It's also too bad that your managers know about your illness---bosses can be merciless to those of us who have a "nonconformity", and that just makes EVERYTHING worse.

Please consider taking at least a couple of weeks to sort things out, get yourself on a schedule of sleeping and eating properly, and try to establish a real life outside of work. See your psychiatrist or therapist to get some of this out of your system. Come here and vent all you want. There are a lot of people here who've been through burnout and come out the other side; there are also a few of us who didn't make it out and have had to move on to other jobs/careers. All can be helpful to you.

And if your medical conditions aren't under good control, do what you need to in order to regain your mental and physical health. For some people (myself included) that means taking a leave of absence, or even leaving the profession. You can't take care of others unless you're taking care of your own needs first. If you're not on meds for your bipolar, you may want/need to consider them; if you are on meds, you may need an adjustment. But there are some things that can't be medicated away, and your discontent with nursing may be one of them.

Just a few thoughts. I wish you well and hope things get better for you soon.

Specializes in Critical Care.
yeorgarn said:
Lately I have been feeling that my stress is building up as a feeling of isolation from any of my non nurse friends and family. I have zero patience for any problem that comes up in their lives because nothing in my mind is worth complaining about when compared to what my sick, dying, in pain, icu patients are going through. I see everything through this lens which at first seemed good because it made me appreciate things but now seems bad as if I'm the crazy cynical person harping on the same thing all the time as an excuse not to care about life.

I can't even begin to get my non nurse friends to understand this and when I try they just get that scared look on their faces in anticipation of me possibly telling them yet another sad/gross story that they will laugh off because they don't know what else to do and have no real idea how awful the real situation was.

On my days off I try everything to decompress, I'm getting my hair done this afternoon but everything I do just seems so temporary. I feel so alone and I'm surprised to find myself feeling a lot more anger than I ever have. I've been a nurse for two and a half years and this is the worst it's ever been. We've had a significant increase in the number of pts passing away in the last few weeks so this may be part of it too. Anyone have any suggestions?

I think you are becoming too attached and involved with your patients. It might help if you can detach yourself and leave them in God's hands. Try to accept that you can't save them all, only do the best you can to give them a chance to recover but in the final analysis it is out of our hands. Also I find reading about near death experiences comforting that death isn't the end and that heaven awaits. Most people who come back didn't want to, but were told they needed to their work wasn't done yet.

Don't discount the little things. The every day acts of love and kindness are what make up a person's life and memories. It is important to remember and celebrate even the little things and not dwell only on serious things.

Sorry but I must be one of the rare ones that love my job. I really do! I've been a nurse for 26 years, 24 of them I've worked in neonatal ICU. I go to work because I want to and I love it. I give it my 100% because I feel that's what I would want of a nurse looking after my baby. I do all I can to make life a little easier for the parents as they are going through enough at the moment. When I leave no matter what the out come with that baby my be, I know I did all I could do. I guess it helps that I work with a fantastic group of highly educated nurses. My advice is if your not happy find an area of nursing that makes you happy. There is so much out there you just have to put your mind to finding it and not thinking it's like that everywhere.

Right now I am on stress leave, for the first time in my life, and in my 26 years of nursing. I will be off for at least six weeks and possibly 3 months. Chronic understaffing of a very small unit, horizontal bullying, lack of respect from the management and health organization, having to work on most of our days off in order to keep things in a manageable position has just sucked all the energy out of me. I can no longer do what I love; which is to spend quality time providing nursing care to people who are in need of it. No.. I am expected to attend more and more meetings, fill out more and more paperwork and on and on it goes. The patient doesn't seem to be the centre of care any longer; the almighty dollar does and that is sad. I can't even go on the same block as my workplace without having an anxiety attack, I have to limit my social outings to places where I hope nobody asks me about work because I just want to vomit and I get chest pain. It is not good. I removed myself from the situation and I will not return until I am feeling a whole lot better; if the situation remains as it currently is in the workplace I won't be able to be a nurse in my community any more which is sad to me.