i wish i knew where to begin......
i am a dedicated nurse, love my job (should i say loved my job). i worked as a nursing supervisor at a busy emergency department for many years. i did an excellent job. received great anually reviews and compliments from supervisors, and peers.
recently, in a period of less than a year.
1. my marriage broke apart
2. i divorced
3. i had to regroup financially
4. i refinanced my home solely
5. i took on sole responsiblity for caring for a home, and all it's responsibilities
6. i travelled to visit my parents whom i had not seen in 16 years(1200 miles away)
7. when i arrived at my parents my father was gravely ill, went immediately to the hospital
8. my father was transferred from to a major medical center 60 miles away via emergency transport
9. my father suffered a major heart attack
10. after 1 week i returned home, my father still hospitalized
11. two weeks later my father is transferred to a nursing home...against my better judgement, but i had no say
12. i began a relationship with a new man
13. my father became ill and was rehospitalized 3 days after being transfered to the nursing home (from july until january he was hospitalized with massive gi bleed and mi's 5 times)
14. i met another man, and attempted to end my other relationship
15. the 2 men i was seeing both worked where i did, in the same department (what was i thinking)
16. i was only dating one at a time, but the one i was trying to end relationship with would not stop contacting me, and i felt obligued to communicate with him
17, man #1 began to threaten to tell man #2 about man #1
18. man #1 found out i was starting to get serious about man #2....threats got more intense.
19. man #1 shows up at my house on two occasions without invitation
20. man #1 on second uninvited visit is intoxicated, threatens fo leave and drive drunk, can hardly walk, threatens to kill me, threatens to "end it" for "all of us"
21. the day after showing up at my house intoxicated man #1 is at work working where i work as is man #2, man #1 spends hours calling me on the phone my work phone and my cell phone, telling me he is going to "end this" he demands that me, man #1 & man #2 "meet in the office at 3 o'clock, and i'll put and end to this"
23. after more that 8 hours of calls, unable to get man #1 to leave me alone, i answer one more call and hear his voice, i collapse at work
24. i am treated by collegues for "a stroke" given clot buster medication.
25. everyone at work finds out about my "love life"
26. man #2 finds out about man #1
27. both man #1 and man #2 show up at my house to pick up my 17 year old son and bring him to the hospital.
28. man #1 & man #2 have verbal confrontation in icu at hospital where i work,
29. all this time i am unable to speak or move my right side (hence why i was treated for a stroke)
30 .details of threats and harrassment at work come out about man #1.
31. man #2 is man #1's supervisor, who calls department director, who calls hospital administrator on call.
32. man #1 is suspended
33. 12 hours later i regain speech and movement
34. i did not have a stroke "complex migraine" is diagnosed.
35. police are called report made re: threats by man #1
36. man #1 continues threats with text messages.
37. man #2 takes me home from hospital but first to file for restraining order from man #1
38. after a week i return to work
39. i go to state attorney to give informaton and sign papers for court restraining order
40. man #2 can deal with situation...dumps me (so deserved)
41. go to court....postponed for 2 weeks because man #1 not prepared
42. i'm not sleeping....1 -2 hours nightly
43. court date again...order received
44. father is in hospital again
45. ex-husband notifies me he is being laid off and has to "take care of himself" won't be able to pay credit cards, boat loan, and possibly not the mortgage loan for the home he received in divorce.
46. christmas is in the middle of all this
47. i'm still not sleeping.
48. i am working minimum 4 day a week.... 12 hr, 8 hr, and 4 hr. shifts. (meetings and staff evals in additions)
49. i have called in sick to work between september and january 4 times i get called in and written up. i'm a poor example to my staff.
i seem "scattered" "perhaps the job is too much for me" "they are complaining that you are not helpful or unapproachable" i mistakenly tell my manager and director that my job "is everything to me"
50. one week later i am called into managers office.....met by director, manager, and hr person. "we are going to drug test you!" supposedly after they talked to me the week before i went out and did or said "something"
51. escorted from er, with hr (how embarrasing) to employee health....pee in a cup, swab mouth for alcohol. suspended pending results.
someone will call me....it takes about 3 - 5 days. then can return to work if results negative.
52. over a week later, called to come into hr, taken to employee health. drug screen negative. but now they want me to undergo a fit for duty evaluation with a psychiatrist. if i pass that i can return to my job, and am expected to perform all functions fully. dr. sends recommendations. full duty, etc.
53. i resign......it is obvious that they don't want me there.
anyone else been accused of substance abuse when it was actually stress abuse.....
what did i do wrong here?
what could i have done differently?
i want to research, and do an article for the nursing journals, etc so i can educate nurses on this topic what to look for, how to handle nurses in this situation. what to do and not to do...