I get what you're saying. My grandmother recently moved to an ALF. She is pretty much self sufficient, but needs a little help with her showers (mainly just someone to help her get in and out--she does the rest), and she was tired of making her own meals, taking care of bills, laundry, etc. She is 84 and has the beginnings of dementia, but is mostly pretty sharp, pleasant, and non-violent, thank God. I handle her medications, and my mom is POA, so my mother, older sister, and I keep tabs on her, go there frequently, and make sure she has all of her necessities. Her roommates however (one shares a bedroom with her, then there are two other ladies down the hall) are all VERY needy and decrepit. I was surprised they were at an ALF. One lady falls--every day--and is mean as heck, the other one cannot walk and has to have someone take her everywhere, dress, bathe, etc. The other one pees and poops EVERYWHERE and is nutty to the point we had to get my grandma a new room. She would wake up at night and her roommate would be in the bathroom smearing poop on the walls.
I thought ALF was for the elderly that were mostly able to do for themselves, just needed a little help. Guess that's not the case as we are learning.