Need advice as a family member

  1. I could really use some advice. I am a nursing student, but I'm here on the other side as a family member. My mother is 87. She has lived with my family for 8 years. I have always cared for her, from the time she was ambulatory and fairly alert, though very confused and forgetful, until now when she is totally bedridden and doesn't communicate at all. I will say now that she has never had a bedsore under my watch. We put her in respite care in a reputable, and very expensive, I might add, NH for a week because we had to go out of town. When we got back, I went to see her. She had a bedsore on her saccrum, wounds on her toes and a bruise the size of a dinner plate on the back of her knee, which even in her state was obviously very painful. Well, I became probably the family member from h**l, because I called the nurse's attention to the bruise and she shrugged and she she had seen it. And the admit notes said that all those wounds were there on admit. I noticed that the notes were written over 4 hours after we left her there. I'm sure she had been left in that wheelchair the whole time, even after my warnings that she was not used to being in the wheelchair very long ( I was told that the residents were not allowed to be in the bad during the day) Now what am I to do? Oh, BTW, the bruise was a consequence of a femur fracture above her artificial knee that yes, they knew about. She was transported to the hospital to figure out why her blood count dropped out the bottom...well, duhh... one can bleed out from a femur fracture. I finally got her home and now DFCS is investigating ME! I may be female and I may be blond but I'm not stupid. If she was in that state because of my care, would I have left her for all to see?? I think not. I have cried, prayed, lost sleep, lost weight(that part's not so bad) over this. I know that I can't prove anything as far as the NH is concerned because I'm sure they have covered their..saccrums. Please give me a little advice!!
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   shel_wny
    Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
    I can't offer you advice as I'm just a mere student/CNA trainee.
    However, I can offer you my comfort and support and the promise that I will never let that happen to anyone under my watch.
    You did nothing wrong so do not worry about things you cannot control.
    Have confidence that any investigations will find truth in the end.
    Focus on nursing yourself and your poor mum back to health.

    *hugs*
    Shel
  4. by   UGAmomX3
    Quote from shel_wny
    Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
    I can't offer you advice as I'm just a mere student/CNA trainee.
    However, I can offer you my comfort and support and the promise that I will never let that happen to anyone under my watch.
    You did nothing wrong so do not worry about things you cannot control.
    Have confidence that any investigations will find truth in the end.
    Focus on nursing yourself and your poor mum back to health.

    *hugs*
    Shel
    Thanks so much for the moral support. As it turns out, the guy from DFAC came, took one look at my mom sleeping peacefully in her blue room, with the blue wallpaper, all clean and happy, heard my story, which was far more believable than the claim and said I should not worry, I would not see him again, I was doing a good job and had a good backup support system. So there!!! I had fretted about this for nothing. That doesn't change the situation with my mom, but at least I have her home and I don't care what anybody says, I am the best caregiver for her! Her course of ill health, both physical and mental, and the fact that I have been able to care for her, is most of the reason why I decided to go to nursing school. I'm no spring ckicken..I have grown kids..but I can still make a difference. Mary
  5. by   traumaRUs
    You certainly can and will - I would love to have you come and work with me. Your mother is one fantastic lady to inspire such love in you and you are one devoted daughter. take care....
  6. by   CoffeeRTC
    Wow! Have you been able to talk to any of the family members of the other residents at the nursing home? They might also have some concerns or problems with the staffing. Unfortunaltly, the admission assessments only need to be completed within 24 hrs of admit, so what ever happened could have occurred during that time. What happened to your mother is awful, it is abuse..neglect. Did the femur fx occur at home or in the nursing center? I would report this to the state department. Its unfortuante that this had to occur when you were probalble trying to get much needed rest.
  7. by   elkpark
    You do have the option of complaining to your state licensure agency about the nursing home, and they will investigate further (although they may not be able to prove anything, either).
  8. by   Critical care rn
    I would send the investigator back to the nursing home, and follow up with their findings.



    Quote from UGAmomX3
    Thanks so much for the moral support. As it turns out, the guy from DFAC came, took one look at my mom sleeping peacefully in her blue room, with the blue wallpaper, all clean and happy, heard my story, which was far more believable than the claim and said I should not worry, I would not see him again, I was doing a good job and had a good backup support system. So there!!! I had fretted about this for nothing. That doesn't change the situation with my mom, but at least I have her home and I don't care what anybody says, I am the best caregiver for her! Her course of ill health, both physical and mental, and the fact that I have been able to care for her, is most of the reason why I decided to go to nursing school. I'm no spring ckicken..I have grown kids..but I can still make a difference. Mary

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