Why do people belittle others to make themselves feel better? - page 3

Just venting here... I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons... Read More

  1. Visit  elegant.lil.lady profile page
    1
    My favorite quote that I remind myself of every morning when I wake up:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

    Everyone has made some great comments here! I love how supportive we all are of each other!
    AheleneLPN likes this.
  2. Get the hottest topics every week!

    Subscribe to our free Nursing Insights: Student Edition newsletter.

  3. Visit  AheleneLPN profile page
    0
    Congratulations!!! Job well done and keep up the good work. Forget the haters!!! You're always going to have haters wherever you go, especially when you're successful at what you're doing. Ignore them because what good does it do to acknowledge them? Nothing, zero, zilch, nada! Do you and let them continue hating on you ;-)
  4. Visit  hope4ccns profile page
    0
    So true! I am a mother, work, and go to school full time. I haven't slept since September! Everyone has something going on...there's a girl in my group who gets all A's on her exams and thinks she knows everything (although she struggles in the clinical setting). No one wants to work with her because she belittles everyone, the other day I was discussing the exam with another classmate (87% score) and she says "You guys are younger than me there's no reason why you shouldn't have more time to study as much, if you just study more you an get A's" She's maybe 10 years older than me tops (I'm 30)..what does age have to do with anything (and since when is 30 so young?). But she's also told other students that they are fat so she can't hear their apical pulse, or they are shaky and she doesn't think they should inject. Some people are just like this...
  5. Visit  wbrown06 profile page
    0
    You said you don't want to be belittled,yet you stated "I would love to be 20 and do it" that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I am 20 and have a 4.0 in my nursing program and feel like because that your statement makes me feel belittled. No sorry it is not easier, because I'm 20. I work hard to maintain my grades and give up doing things with friends and family to study. Just thought I would let you know it works both ways. Sorry for typos on my phone.
  6. Visit  FMF Corpsman profile page
    2
    Quote from wbrown06
    You said you don't want to be belittled,yet you stated "I would love to be 20 and do it" that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I am 20 and have a 4.0 in my nursing program and feel like because that your statement makes me feel belittled. No sorry it is not easier, because I'm 20. I work hard to maintain my grades and give up doing things with friends and family to study. Just thought I would let you know it works both ways. Sorry for typos on my phone.
    I can't, for the life of me, figure out why you would feel belittled over this statement. The OP is in her 40's and, if I am reading her correctly, is simply stating a feeling that if she where twenty years or so younger, she might find it a bit easier to accomplish her task. This is something I might also say being 65 years old myself. I'm not putting you down, but you are only 20 years old and have no idea what it feels like to have 20 or 45 additional years tacked on and then to attempt to do what you are doing. You are looking at it backwards, you said "No it is not easier, because you are 20" Try imagining it if you were 40, and had the addition of children and a household to run.
    Hygiene Queen and metal_m0nk like this.
  7. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    2
    You said you don't want to be belittled,yet you stated "I would love to be 20 and do it" that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I am 20 and have a 4.0 in my nursing program and feel like because that your statement makes me feel belittled. No sorry it is not easier, because I'm 20. I work hard to maintain my grades and give up doing things with friends and family to study. Just thought I would let you know it works both ways. Sorry for typos on my phone.
    Quote from FMF Corpsman
    I can't, for the life of me, figure out why you would feel belittled over this statement. The OP is in her 40's and, if I am reading her correctly, is simply stating a feeling that if she where twenty years or so younger, she might find it a bit easier to accomplish her task. This is something I might also say being 65 years old myself. I'm not putting you down, but you are only 20 years old and have no idea what it feels like to have 20 or 45 additional years tacked on and then to attempt to do what you are doing. You are looking at it backwards, you said "No it is not easier, because you are 20" Try imagining it if you were 40, and had the addition of children and a household to run.
    True statement from FMF. The responsibilities of a 30, 40, 50, 60 year old are very different from the responsibilities of a 20 year old. Your social status changes as you age, there's marriage, divorce, mortgages, grandchildren, caring for parents as they age or dealing with the fallout of parents that have passed, the list goes on. Not to mention the wear and tear that 40 or 50 years of existence and living puts on your body, your memory, your energy level, your responses to stress. Fact is, /he/she's been 20. He/she knows the difference between 20 and 50. You have yet to be 50. You don't know the difference and won't until you get there.
    Hygiene Queen and AheleneLPN like this.
  8. Visit  katiebear profile page
    0
    I have been in several situations throughout my nursing program where I was informed my stress and effort was not equal to the stress and effort of others due to my age. I find it to be ridiculous to judge anyone's situation based on their age. Nobody can tell what your unique home life is like by knowing the number of years you've lived. So, basically, just sweetly inform anyone who says it TO you (not someone you HEARD had said it) that they truly do not know your life, and leave it at that. It's honest, simple, diffuses the situation and will make you feel better than if you retaliated!

    And to the posts more recently stating its impossible for a 20 year old to know what it's like to be 50, I have to comment... I'm 22, and regardless of the fact that you may have been 22 at some point in time, you have absolutely NO concept of what my life is like simply because you know my age. You have no concept of what another younger students life is like, either. Just the same as I cannot judge your personal struggles, you cannot judge mine. Assuming you know someone's stress level, hard work and life simply because you know how many years they lived is very similar to assuming you know someone based on any physical attribute. Judge people by their actions, not by how it looks.

    Remember this: Don't judge a book by its cover. Allow your peers the same non-judgmental, open compassion that you allow your patients.

    Soapbox, peace out.
  9. Visit  Band profile page
    1
    The 22 yo comment seem more mature than the ones in their 40s...lol. It's not about age, nursing school is stressful that's how some people cope, gossip and excuses; it makes you miserable at times. Please try to ignore those generalized comments OP. we had our prof speak in class about this it has gotten so bad - it's terrible!
    zoe92 likes this.
  10. Visit  blueyesue profile page
    0
    I had a nursing student tell me "I can't stand overachievers" Yet she is the one who has to be the first at everything. She tries to be the one in control of the situation. She even walked up to me and grabbed a paper out of my hand so she could use it. Go figure. I don't think some people even know how they act or what they say half the time. Maybe nursing school rewires our neurons. LOL
  11. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    0
    Quote from katiebear
    I have been in several situations throughout my nursing program where I was informed my stress and effort was not equal to the stress and effort of others due to my age. I find it to be ridiculous to judge anyone's situation based on their age. Nobody can tell what your unique home life is like by knowing the number of years you've lived. So, basically, just sweetly inform anyone who says it TO you (not someone you HEARD had said it) that they truly do not know your life, and leave it at that. It's honest, simple, diffuses the situation and will make you feel better than if you retaliated!

    And to the posts more recently stating its impossible for a 20 year old to know what it's like to be 50, I have to comment... I'm 22, and regardless of the fact that you may have been 22 at some point in time, you have absolutely NO concept of what my life is like simply because you know my age. You have no concept of what another younger students life is like, either. Just the same as I cannot judge your personal struggles, you cannot judge mine. Assuming you know someone's stress level, hard work and life simply because you know how many years they lived is very similar to assuming you know someone based on any physical attribute. Judge people by their actions, not by how it looks.

    Remember this: Don't judge a book by its cover. Allow your peers the same non-judgmental, open compassion that you allow your patients.

    Soapbox, peace out.
    Someone who is 30, 40, 50, 60 knows what 22 feels like. That is fact. You do not know what 30, 40, 50, 60 feels like. That is also fact. You can explain it away and pretend that other contingencies are more important than the sheer unavoidable biological fact that people age and with age comes change, but that's not going to make it any less true.
  12. Visit  rubato profile page
    1
    Nursing school is really hard when you're 20. 40 or 60. It just is. I'm 42 and feeling my age after 2 days in a row of clinicals. I don't sit down, go to the bathroom or get a drink for 6 hour stretches. Do I wish I had my 20 year old body back for that? Sure. But, I'm REALLY happy to have my 42 year old brain when it comes to problem solving and learning.

    And, I'll gladly take my family responsibilities of taking care of kids, hubby and house over which party to go to this weekend (just my personal experience at 20).
    metal_m0nk likes this.
  13. Visit  katiebear profile page
    0
    Quote from triquee

    Someone who is 30, 40, 50, 60 knows what 22 feels like. That is fact. You do not know what 30, 40, 50, 60 feels like. That is also fact. You can explain it away and pretend that other contingencies are more important than the sheer unavoidable biological fact that people age and with age comes change, but that's not going to make it any less true.
    Actually, all someone knows at any age above 20 is what THEY PERSONALLY dealt with as a 20 year old. Also fact. You can explain it away and pretend that other contingencies are important, but the sheer physical fact here is YOU are not ME, and no current 30/40/50/60/whatever year old is currently anyone else, either.

    Hate to put it this way, but judging by age is similar to judging by skin color, hair color, gender or anything else you can attribute to someone. It's absolutely impossible for anyone to know someone else's story by knowing attributes.

    Nursing school is tough, no matter how old you are. It's extremely stressful for everyone involved. Everyone's stress level and effort is just as valid as everyone else's. And as future nurses, one would HOPE that everyone can feel an appreciation for other individuals' struggles, and not judge them based on something like this. Door swings both ways.
  14. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    0
    Quote from katiebear
    Actually, all someone knows at any age above 20 is what THEY PERSONALLY dealt with as a 20 year old. Also you can explain it away and pretend that other contingencies are important, but the sheer physical fact here is YOU are not ME, and no current 30/40/50/60/whatever year old is currently anyone else, either.

    Hate to put it this way, but judging by age is similar to judging by skin color, hair color, gender or anything else you can attribute to someone. It's absolutely impossible for anyone to know someone else's story by knowing attributes.

    Nursing school is tough, no matter how old you are. It's extremely stressful for everyone involved. Everyone's stress level and effort is just as valid as everyone else's. And as future nurses, one would HOPE that everyone can feel an appreciation for other individuals' struggles, and not judge them based on something like this. Door swings both ways.
    Individualized experience only goes so far. Only rare situations account for drastic differences in the human experience. For example, unless you have been diagnosed with and had to manage some crippling or life threatening disease, then it is safe to say that most people have experienced sickness or more general/benign illness. We're not talking about extreme cases here. We're talking about the general human experience which, while we all like to think we're special snowflakes, in most cases, we're not. We go through much of the same things. The difference is, age and experience increases exposure to specific elements of the human experience 9 times out of 10, while simultaneously imposing the physiological limits of age. If you're in the 1%, then that's a separate discussion altogether and is not appropriate for this discussion. By the same token, a person twice your age has probably experienced all that you have and more, unless they have lived an incredibly sheltered life, in which case that is another extreme circumstance and not appropriate for this discussion. Fact.

    Also, while it may be easy and tempting to throw around inflammatory and provocative ideas like discrimination on the basis skin color to make your point, it is not necessary and it is in bad taste. We all judge our world by our experiences and observations. There is nothing wrong with that. I don’t recall anyone here using those judgments in a way that was damaging or abusive or discriminatory. It is not abusive for someone to state that you don’t know something that you don’t know. That is an observation of fact. Not a hate crime.
    Last edit by dianah on Oct 25, '12 : Reason: formatting


Nursing Jobs in every specialty and state. Visit today and find your dream job.

Top