Why do people belittle others to make themselves feel better? - page 3

by maracuya 9,276 Views | 40 Comments

Just venting here... I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons studying like crazy and have been... Read More


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    Age isn't everything! I'm 20 and have a husband and a daughter. I work full time graves at the hospital and attend school full time. People put too much weight on someone's age and not enough weight on individual circumstances. Good for you for working so hard!
    3aremyjoy and Red35 like this.
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    Quote from kelani01
    Just venting here...

    I am in my 40's and just started my pre-nursing classes in January 2012. Took my HESI-A2 this summer and scored an average of 99 on it. I've been burning all my neurons studying like crazy and have been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA - I do this to try to increase the probability that I am accepted to my school's nursing program. I've made so many sacrifices... I've missed out on outings with my husband and children because I've had to stay at home and study for exams and lab practicals, etc. I work very hard to do my best. I'm sure you all know what it's like when you really want it.

    Anyway... I was sooo mad yesterday. There is this girl in my A&P class, who also happens to be in my Intro to Nursing class. We were getting ready to receive the results for our last exam in A&P and I've been working so hard that I always get the top grade. So the professor announced that only one person got 100 on the test. One girl tells the other "it was probably her", and then this girl says "it's because she is older and has more time to study". I was soooo mad. I didn't hear her, someone else told me what she said after class, so unfortunately I didn't get a chance to respond. But I felt like my efforts were being undermined. I guess at a conscious level I don't care what she thinks - but it just makes me so mad. People will say anything to justify themselves I guess. I mean, I know it would be so much easier for me if I would have done this back when I was 20, living at home, no kids, no responsibilities other than making good grades. What right does she have to belittle my effort? Plus... there are other people there, my age, with no jobs, that don't make the same grades I do.

    Just so mad. Ok, venting done. Now to study.
    Sorry to har about the bad experience kelani01. That's just life though, let it blow off your shoulders and move on.
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    Let the haters be your motivators.

    People like to blame things outside of themselve for their struggles. It makes us feel better but doesn't actually require much work. Some of classmates love to blame their low grades on professor's teaching methods or diorganization or busy lives, so then when people with equally (or more) busy lives manage to succeed with the same teachers it takes the wind out of their excuses. I've gotten a few snarky comments about my grades. Those who know me well and study with me know that I bust my behind to get them. I have some of the youngest kids out of my cohort and I still have the highest grades right along with a couple of the childless people.

    Anyway, all I can say is that it's time to grow a thick skin. I was crushed in Micro when my lab partners turned on me for scoring higher than them on tests (I was pregnant and had little ones and rarely came to class because of my really bad morning sickness. Apparentlt that wasn't fair) but now I don't care what anyone has to say. I got into nurisng school thanks to my grades. They're not here with me. I'll wave to detractors from my GN internship I'm busting my butt to get into.

    Keep your chin up and remember that it isn't personal. It's about them and their own struggles, not about you. Good luck with everything!
  4. 0
    Keep up the good work! Stay positive and forgot the haters!
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    Ditto: Haters are going to hate!
    Jealous people will be jealous until they are happy with themselves, which is likely not going to happen until they get serious therapy.
    Sometimes we take these comments personally or can feel hurt but that is likely due to the fact that most healthy people would like to have a healthy connection with their cohorts.
    Young people can be...well they are a bullying generation whether it is with words or actions.
    Ignore them.
    I am a mental health professional and we would be lying if we said we didn't have biases. What is important is that we don't let these interfere with the treatment of our clients/patients and that requires having our own therapy. The individuals that you speak of lack self awareness and are letting their biases get in the way of preparing for nursing. I hope none of them become my nurse. Imagine the poor patients that are victims of their behavior and attitudes.
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    Quote from kelani01
    ... I work very hard to do my best. ... What right does she have to belittle my effort? ...
    Hi Kelani, Congratulations for doing so well in your studies. To answer your question, neither she nor anyone else has any right to put you or your efforts down, but that isn’t going to stop them. It isn’t going to stop them in school and it isn’t going to stop them in life either. You said you were in your 40’s, surely you know by now that your school is merely a microcosm of life, and that what happens there is simply a mirror of what happens in real life. You’ve had to have heard by now that once you finish school and take your boards, only then can you begin to learn what Nursing is all about. I’m not faulting you; you are not too blame for the shortcomings of other rude students who will undoubtedly become plss-poor nurses, if in fact they can ever pass their State Boards. You keep up the good work, and as you’ve already decided, maybe keep your future scores to yourself, and you’ll do well.
    Last edit by FMF Corpsman on Oct 22, '12 : Reason: HTML tags
  7. 1
    My favorite quote that I remind myself of every morning when I wake up:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

    Everyone has made some great comments here! I love how supportive we all are of each other!
    AheleneLPN likes this.
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    Congratulations!!! Job well done and keep up the good work. Forget the haters!!! You're always going to have haters wherever you go, especially when you're successful at what you're doing. Ignore them because what good does it do to acknowledge them? Nothing, zero, zilch, nada! Do you and let them continue hating on you ;-)
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    So true! I am a mother, work, and go to school full time. I haven't slept since September! Everyone has something going on...there's a girl in my group who gets all A's on her exams and thinks she knows everything (although she struggles in the clinical setting). No one wants to work with her because she belittles everyone, the other day I was discussing the exam with another classmate (87% score) and she says "You guys are younger than me there's no reason why you shouldn't have more time to study as much, if you just study more you an get A's" She's maybe 10 years older than me tops (I'm 30)..what does age have to do with anything (and since when is 30 so young?). But she's also told other students that they are fat so she can't hear their apical pulse, or they are shaky and she doesn't think they should inject. Some people are just like this...
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    You said you don't want to be belittled,yet you stated "I would love to be 20 and do it" that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I am 20 and have a 4.0 in my nursing program and feel like because that your statement makes me feel belittled. No sorry it is not easier, because I'm 20. I work hard to maintain my grades and give up doing things with friends and family to study. Just thought I would let you know it works both ways. Sorry for typos on my phone.


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