Hi. Sad. It's obvious to me, at least, that you are trying to come to some closure about a dream that didn't work out and I, for one, won't criticize you. It's hard to let go of a dream sometimes. Did you do your very best? If so, that's good enough for me! And for a lot of other people, too! That doesn't mean you can't dream again.
Take a deep breath, now. Pull up your socks, blow your nose, and look around. Guess what? You have a tableau rasa, clean slate now. Some might even call it "square one". A wonderful place to start over, don't you think? No constraints, nothing to confine you. Lots of freedom, for sure. What's so bad about that? Nothing that I can see.
Now think carefully and when you are ready to create again, you will. Pick up that paint brush called life and create a masterpiece that's beautiful, wonderful and unique. One that's just for you! Favorite colors and all. Build it layer by layer until its just the way you like it. Take a step back. Look at it from top to bottom. Ah. Now, isn't that marvelous?
Yes, even a bit grand, I'd say.
Okay, here's your brush.
I'm going to go and, I ,for, one can't wait to see what you come up with. Whatever it is, it will be marvelous, you'll see, because its uniquely you. Not what an instructor says. Not what some people on a bulletin board say. It will be yours. Now, THAT'S what I call interesting!
What am I trying to tell you? If you have to start over, dear, there's no better place than square one. Now get to it and give THAT your best effort.