"There's nothing worse than a FAT nurse!" - page 5

by Darkstar1485

35,390 Views | 180 Comments

Ok, I'm sure that title made you want to throw up in your mouth. I don't blame you. I felt the same way when my physician said it to ME. In January, I decided to take control my life and lose weight. I have lost about 30lbs... Read More


  1. 5
    Quote from grownuprosie
    i think people forget that "retarded" has a real definition.

    [color=#333333]re·tard

       [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] show ipa

    [color=#333333]verb (used with object)[color=#7b7b7b]1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (anaction, process, etc.); hinder or impede.



    so, if someone is socially retarded, then they have a delayed development of social constructs. you are the only one equating that word with intelectual disabilities here... fyi








    i know the definition of the word and, if you paid attention to anything i said, i wasn't equating it with intellectual disability. i said the careless use of the word (especially as slang to describe something stupid) is offensive to those with intellectual disabilities because you're using a word that describes their disability to mean "stupid". there wouldn't be a national movement to eliminate the use of the word if it wasn't offensive and, ftr, there are laws on both the federal and national level regarding the use of this term. it's like how using the word "gay" as in "that's so gay" to mean stupid is offensive to homosexuals.

    being retarded « herding cats

    and i find it infuriating that educated people in a caring profession find it appropriate to throw around such a hurtful word in every day conversation.
  2. 4
    Quote from Darkstar1485
    Ok, I'm sure that title made you want to throw up in your mouth. I don't blame you. I felt the same way when my physician said it to ME.In January, I decided to take control my life and lose weight. I have lost about 30lbs so far. So, when I went to my doctor last week, he noticed that I was 30lbs lighter. He asked if I was on a diet and I told him yes. I told him I was going to nursing school and want to be a good example if I'm going to lecture on proper diet and exercise.I guess my statement gave him a green light to be an a-hole.Doctor: that is so refreshing to hear! Nurses are notorious for ignoring their health. Keep up the good work. Remember, THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN A FAT NURSE! ::::doctor laughs::::I was in shock. I could not believe it. I went numb. I did not find what he said funny or supportive. Yeah... I'm actively searching for a NP to be my primary care provider.... I happen to like NP's better. I find them to be less socially retarded.What's the general consensus on obese nurses? Are obese nurses not taken seriously? Is what my doctor said a common thought?
    You should have told him the only thing worse than a fat nurse is idiot doctor.
  3. 6
    Way go to on the weight loss! Getting fit is no easy task.

    Regarding your story, it made me laugh, not because of the situation, but because it reminded me about the other day. Out of the blue, my partner who works as a nephrologist suddenly looked at me and said, "When did I get this belly?! I need to loose it again...nobody listens to a fat doctor." So while I agree that the comment was really uncalled for in this situation, perhaps you can take solace in the fact that a lot of doctors think that about themselves too.

    I do however want to share with you a story regarding a situation I ran into. I also used to use the term "socially retarded"...and then I said it around someone with developmental disabilities. They got upset. So while I didn't think it was insensitive, the fact is I don't have disabilities of that nature and this person did find it offensive. Who was I to tell them not to be offended? They went on to ask me how I would feel if someone said that a guy was "listening to gay music". As a gay man, I know that a lot of people commonly use the term "gay" as a negative, even though that's not it's proper definition. Yes, the word has a proper definition and I really don't think you meant any harm by it, but in the end, some people might be offended just the same. It's not necessarily what the word means, but the pain that some people feel because of the word. So now I find myself saying that someone is "socially inept", and that guy is "listening to happy music". I hope that makes sense, as I'm certainly not trying to attack you, just share my personal thoughts.

    Good luck on your weight loss goals!
  4. 0
    Quote from justin.j
    Way go to on the weight loss! Getting fit is no easy task. Regarding your story, it made me laugh, not because of the situation, but because it reminded me about the other day. Out of the blue, my partner who works as a nephrologist suddenly looked at me and said, "When did I get this belly?! I need to loose it again...nobody listens to a fat doctor." So while I agree that the comment was really uncalled for in this situation, perhaps you can take solace in the fact that a lot of doctors think that about themselves too. I do however want to share with you a story regarding a situation I ran into. I also used to use the term "socially retarded"...and then I said it around someone with developmental disabilities. They got upset. So while I didn't think it was insensitive, the fact is I don't have disabilities of that nature and this person did find it offensive. Who was I to tell them not to be offended? They went on to ask me how I would feel if someone said that a guy was "listening to gay music". As a gay man, I know that a lot of people commonly use the term "gay" as a negative, even though that's not it's proper definition. Yes, the word has a proper definition and I really don't think you meant any harm by it, but in the end, some people might be offended just the same. It's not necessarily what the word means, but the pain that some people feel because of the word. So now I find myself saying that someone is "socially inept", and that guy is "listening to happy music". I hope that makes sense, as I'm certainly not trying to attack you, just share my personal thoughts. Good luck on your weight loss goals!
    I really liked your story. It helps put things into perspective. Thank you for your kind words.


    Question, if someone said that they felt "gay"meaning happy, would that offend you or would you just think it was strange that a person wouldn't just use the word happy?
    Last edit by Darkstar1485 on Jun 2, '12
  5. 0
    Congrats on your weight loss!! That is awesome!!

    This is different.. But, still kind of inappropriate. Your post made me think of it. My pediatrician decided to call me a nutrition Nazi during my kids' last check up. He said it in a joking manner and was laughing.. And knowing him, I shouldn't have been offended but yet I kind of was. I guess mostly because he decided to say, in front of my 4 year old who I've had a very hard time with getting him to eat anything healthy, that "I've never eaten vegetables in my entire life unless it's fried okra, and I'm doing okay!". I left telling my husband if he wasn't such a good doctor then we'd be finding a new one!!
    I'm sorry that was said to you. But, like others, i'd have to hear how it was said. Keep up your hard work!!
  6. 3
    Also, I have recently lost 40lbs. I wasn't technically overweight but I was unhealthy and it wasn't appropriate for my body size. I gained 70 lbs--yeah that's right-- with my 1st child. I was roughly 100lbs before that. With my second one I gained almost 50 lbs. I was unhealthy because I didn't know any better. After starting my a&p classes it hit me and I decided to make a change! When I got to nutrition I definitely wanted to make a change. I watch what I eat, use smaller plates, drink plenty of water (I'm huge on hydration! I even did a study for a paper on it) and I run/jog. It has made a huge difference! I feel so much better and healthier. I have a lower bp. It was 100/70 the last time it was checked. Diabetes, HTN and heart disease run in my family so it's important to me to try and take care of myself. Some don't realize it, but man what a difference getting out and jogging or walking makes. It gives you a better outlook, enhances your mood, you can clear your head and relax! Plus you're getting some vitamin d! Turn on some music and just go. That's my "mommy time" and I couldn't do without it. Aerobic exercises are wonderful for the body. I'm actually working on a research paper about aerobic exercises and the benefits--pretty interesting stuff! Good luck! And keep it up! Ignore anyone who says hurtful things- like the dr. Just keep your head up. You realize what needs to be done and are working on it. That's the important thing!
    jaad, SonOfStBenedict, and Darkstar1485 like this.
  7. 2
    Quote from KelRN215
    I know the definition of the word and, if you paid attention to anything I said, I wasn't equating it with intellectual disability. I said the careless use of the word (especially as slang to describe something stupid) is offensive to those with intellectual disabilities because you're using a word that describes their disability to mean "stupid". There wouldn't be a national movement to eliminate the use of the word if it wasn't offensive and, FTR, there are laws on both the federal and national level regarding the use of this term. It's like how using the word "gay" as in "that's so gay" to mean stupid is offensive to homosexuals.

    Being Retarded « Herding Cats

    And I find it infuriating that educated people in a caring profession find it appropriate to throw around such a hurtful word in every day conversation.
    Quote from KelRN215
    If you were offended by the doctor's comments, how do you think someone affected by intellectual disabilities would feel about your use of the term "socially retarded"?
    You say you did not equate it to intelectual disability. However, as quoted above, you suggested that people with intelectual disabilities would be unilaterally offended by use of this term. I.E. equating the word "Retarded" with those with intelectual disabilities.

    Implying that words of the english language need to be retired because SOME people use it incorrectly is tantamount to burning books because they have offensive content. Retarded is a word. Taking back the word to its true meaning is better than pretending it does not exist. Educated individuals in a caring profession would recognize this and not decide censorship is better than education. Are you offended by flame retardent fabric?
    phdewer84 and Purple_Scrubs like this.
  8. 0
    Just going to chime in here about this whole "retarted" issue. I had a nursing instructor who adoped a special needs child and was super sensitive about the word. I asked her at clinical one day if she was sensitive to it when it was used in it's appropriate context and she said no. I asked her why of course and she explained that it has been used for years in a negative way (ie something stupid) and that she just preferred to use special needs because if she used "retarted" with her child and then she starts school and kids call her "retarted" using it inappropriately, she is afraid her child will think she is making fun of her as well. So in this case I understand, I don't care for the word at all but since it is a word and has a definition I don't care that people use it in it's appropriate context. I do believe that the definition itself can be lent to those who are socially stunted, but not those who you consider stupid. I do know plenty of doctor's who are REALLY socially stunted, they don't know how to act appropriately with people around them and say things they shouldn't. Since I don't know the OP doctor, I trust that she is using it correctly and not just calling her doc stupid. And to call a doctor STUPID is stupid all by itself, they are far from it, and say that about even the doctors I can't stand!
  9. 8
    words hurt. words that hurt need to be carefully, if at all, used. whether or not a word has a definition in the dictionary does not necessarily make them appropriate to use. the "n" word is in the dictionary as a stingy person...

    stingy, mean, avaricious, ungenerous, close, near (informal), sparing, grudging, mercenary, frugal, parsimonious, penurious, tightfisted, scrooge-like, stingy liberal, generous, lavish, prodigal, bountiful, munificent2. paltry, mean, small, inadequate, miserable, pathetic, insufficient, beggarly, scant, meagre, skimpy, measly, scanty, wretched

    the "n" word used to be used freely and was appropriate.......a long time ago, not now. the word itself remains offensive and is not used in polite society even when used in "context". just because i don't think it should be removed from huck finn....doesn't mean it should be used in polite society. the "r" word is one of those words. once used to describe a medical condition...... the negative, hurtful connotation has prevailed and should not be used. imho.

    i think "we" not only as nurses but as human beings, need to cognizant of hurtful words. i think the physician needs to self filter his behavior, zip his mouth shut, and was unprofessional poking fun at his employee (what does that say about his integrity).

    i think saying someone is socially inept would be more appropriate than using the "r" word. i don't think words need to removed from the english language but i do think we need to self edit when not in an intimate setting to set good examples and avoid offending others.

    i am an educated individual and i think censorship and self editing are the traits of mature caring professionals for, in the words of dr. maya angelou, when we know better we do better.
  10. 0
    Quote from grownuprosie
    You say you did not equate it to intelectual disability. However, as quoted above, you suggested that people with intelectual disabilities would be unilaterally offended by use of this term. I.E. equating the word "Retarded" with those with intelectual disabilities.

    Implying that words of the english language need to be retired because SOME people use it incorrectly is tantamount to burning books because they have offensive content. Retarded is a word. Taking back the word to its true meaning is better than pretending it does not exist. Educated individuals in a caring profession would recognize this and not decide censorship is better than education. Are you offended by flame retardent fabric?
    You are not understanding. AT ALL. Mental retardation is still the official definition in the DSM-IV for people with an intellectual disability. What I have said and you fail to understand is that use of the word to mean stupid or inept is offensive to those actually affected by the disability, since they are neither of the above. Using it like this is akin to saying "that's so gay" to mean "that's so stupid." A poster in this thread already commented on how that was offensive to him, as a gay man. I find it offensive, as a heterosexual woman, just as I find the r word offensive. The c word is still in the dictionary too, that doesn't mean it's appropriate to go around using it indiscriminately in every day life. Google "spread the word to end the word" or go to youtube and look up "r word campaign" and you can see real life examples of people who are affected by others' careless use of the word.

    People need to be cognizant of the things they say, you never know who you're speaking to, especially online. I find the careless use of the term "tourette's" to describe someone with foul language to be insulting and offensive as well, since tourette's is an actual disorder and the vast majority of people with the disorder do not walk around yelling curse words. [There is a scene in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days" where Matthew McConaughey's character tells Kate Hudson's character "the whole family suffers from Tourette's" because they are playing the card came bullsh*t and all yelling the word. That's offensive just like the casual use of the r word is offensive.]

    I suggest you go back and read the links I posted, especially the one in the post you just quoted which is a blog entry written by a mother of a child with ID where she speaks about how the casual use of the word as in "that movie was so retarded", "my doctor is socially retarded because he said something inappropriate" is offensive to her and her daughter. See #3 on her list of what "being retarded" doesn't mean: "It doesn’t mean saying the wrong thing to a person."
    Last edit by KelRN215 on Jun 3, '12


Top