relationships

francine79 · Jul 25, 2003

During my first year of college, my boyfriend and I had a pretty rough time. We both worked full time so when I wasn't working I was studying. He played video games in his free time. I would get angry whenever I had free time and he wasn't paying attention to me. We fought all the time! He was resentful that I put my education before him and I was resentful because he put those video games before me.

I just finished me second year and it went alot better than the first as far as our relationship. It all boils down to being understanding. I realized that just because I had free time I couldn't expect him to drop what he was doing to spend time with me. No matter if I felt studying is a better excuse than playing video games.

It's hard to make your education and your boyfriend the first priority. You just have to find some way, both of you, to balance each out. Most importantly, just don't assume that the other understands that you can't spend time with them. It's hard to deal with being ignored all the time no matter how just the cause is.

To spend time together, we will rent a movie or two. Sometimes we don't get them all watched in one sitting, but atleast we get some time together.

Hope my advice helps.

RNIAM, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2003

It is a tough one. Alot of relationships end becuase of the time constraints. You just have to make time. If it's worth it to both of you it will happen. Good luck and let us know how it goes. I am married to a wonderful husband who wants to shoot me I am sure. I spend so much time on the computer and studying, he threatened to put a picture of himself on the computer just so I would remember him!

redwinggirlie · Jul 25, 2003

Studies first, life second. It's a fact, but you two will find a way to deal with it...

dosamigos76, RN · Jul 25, 2003

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. My husband is more sure that we'll get through nursing school and he absolutely couldn't have been more supportive of me while I got my prerequisites done. He'd even shoo me off, telling me to go study. When I got all A's last semester, he got a frame for my standard letter from the Vice-President's Honor Roll and another for my report card.

I've told him all the horror stories I've heard about Nursing School, and he just says it will be fine. I'm the one that's kinda freaking. I mean, I don't want everything to change, I don't want to give up my time with hubby....but everything is about to change.

Cheryl

Rav_810 · Jul 25, 2003

Oh man i'm having trouble myself. I like this girl at university who is also doing nursing, trouble is don't know if she likes me. My friends say i should ask her out, that i have nothing to loose. However i feel if i do ask her out now it will ruin our friendship. At the moment i'm on holidays return to uni on monday. During the semester i will see how things go that's my approach. I'm to shy though, please tell me what to do!!!

essarge · Jul 25, 2003

Having a relationship, other than friendship, in nursing school is extremely hard. Studying has to be your first priority. That being said, I have always taken one "me" day every week. Perhaps you could also have a "us" day. A day where you do not study or even look at a book or your notes. Leave your house and do something with your spouse that you both enjoy. You will find your niche and things will work out. You have a very special hubby to have him support you like he does....the "us" day could be his "reward" for all of the support he gives you!:)

essarge · Jul 25, 2003

Rav,

Just a suggestion...ask her if she'd like to partner up for studying. That might break the ice for you.

dosamigos76, RN · Jul 25, 2003

essarge,

I followed your suggestion about the "me" day and adapted it to an "us" day last semester. You are so right about all the benefits of taking time away from school. I found I had a better mindset and actually studied better. I also didn't get as fried! You offer good suggestions on here!

Congrats on being a senior!

Cheryl

miss_sheesh · Jul 25, 2003

bob007cat,

I am also in a nursing program while my boyfriend (of many years) is in the occupational therapy program. Needless to say, our time with each other is very limited. In the beginning, we constantly argued. I was at the point where I was ready to leave. Fortunately, my sweetie is not as pessimistic as I. After sitting down and discussing, like adults, our true feelings toward each other, we realized that what we have is too wonderful to lose. He and I decided that we have to designate "us" days/nights where we would rent movies, bar hop, go dancing,etc. We have been on weekend trips (Aruba, Cancun, Las Vegas). Around midterms and finals we even study together. In the end, it is all worth while. Don't give up if this is something that you want. It can be done!!

B.T.W., 1) In case you are wondering, both my boyfriend and I are A sudents. Our studies always come first. 2)We are not rich...we have been very lucky in finding great deals with our travel agent.

essarge · Jul 25, 2003

Cheryl,

Guess all the "lessons" that life has taught me have come in handy during nursing school. Thanks for the pat on the shoulder!

Love-A-Nurse · Jul 25, 2003

"he threatened to put a picture of himself on the computer just so i would remember him!"

that's funny! :chuckle