I've been here before asking for advice. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I just want to vent. I'm really ****** hurt. Excuse my language.
Today was supposed to be a special day. We talked about it for a month. She would get home from school and we'd spend time together. We had to cut it in half because she was tired. I was okay with it.
I knew this semester was tough. We went back and forth between "are you okay?" "yes." She got irritated eventually and I tried talking to her about it, but I got rejected twice. I think that's what's really hurting me right now. The fact that I was ready to let her know I was upset. I wasn't going to originally let her know because I used to be expressive like that and it was something that we didn't need as a couple.
She's very busy and I've decided to stop giving her grief or making her feel guilty.
Some people can say that if I meant something to her, she would make time. I've been thinking about that for the last couple of hours, yes. But what if she really didn't have enough time?
I don't know. I'm just really hurt. I tried to eventually tell her, like I said, but she wouldn't really have any of it. Maybe it's due to frustration and lack of sleep. I was kinda distant with her the whole night. I was distracted. We were supposed to spend 5 hours with each other, but only 2.
That may be enough, and it normally would've been. But the fact that we talked about this for a month. Prior to that (the Holiday), we didn't even spend that much together. And ever since school started for her and I, we've barely had 'us' time. There's times I'd spend 5+ hours with her, but that's studying. And I'm okay with that. It's enough for me. For now, anyways, since this semester is tough for her.
I don't know. I think I'm going in circles. I'm afraid of talking to friends/others about this because they don't know how busy you guys are. "If she loves you enough, she'd make time." Yes, I know, but it's impossible!
I need a hug