Nursing School Drama queens

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Specializes in Tele, OB, public health.

I'm beginning to think Nursing school either brings out the worst in people or makes them insane.

Last year I became friends with a group of five ladies in school. We all got into the ( bad) habit of emailing back in forth while stressing out and waiting for test scores to be posted . Once they were, we would all share our scores, so we could share kudos with each-other and relieved sighs that we had all survived another test. The first semester this was no problem, as it is relatively easy compared with what was to come.

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Fast forward to Feb. 2009- first semester of Med- Surg. Three of us, "Tina," "Jessica "and I fail the first test along with ½ the class. Those of us in our little clique who passed are of course full of sympathy and pledges of support to help so we all pass next time. I take the time to re-evaluate my study strategy, switch it up, and learn to study smarter not harder. I work my butt off, have no life for the next two weeks and pass the next test with 94%, not only re-couping my points to be sitting in a safe zone. On test day, after scores have been posted, I discreetly share my score with nobody, being unsure if my two friends who failed the first test did well. I tell only two of the other women, lets call them Jane and Sally only when they ask me. Jane takes it upon herself to tell Everyone my score ( without my consent). Tina has failed the second test also. How do I know all this? Because she calls me the next day and says "Jane told me your score- how did you do it?! I failed this one too-can you help me?" I do so to the best of my abilites, but sadly Tina fails the final two tests and does not join us in the next class.

April- Jane has been acting strange towards me- I try to ignore it, a s

Jane has also been having health and family problems so I chalk it up to that, try to not make it all about me. I ease up, and start to distance myself a bit, not sure what's up, but too busy and stressed out to focus much time on it. Long story short, Jane begins to flat out blow me off, and me being totally confused finally gets Sally to confide in me. Sally reveals Jane thinks I was "gloating" and "boastful" about the test I did well on!!!! Excuse me??!!! I hardly told anyone, and the only reason anyone besides Jane and Sally know is because Jane Told them!!

So I say screw this, Nursing school is hard enough without this drama. I remove myself from the group and find others to hang out with. Sally and the others are still polite and friendly to me, but Jane completely ignores me now. This is all coming up again because classes started again this week. My wounds have mostly healed, but what I still can't stomach is being socailly ostracized for such a crap, not to mention untrue reason. So my long rambling leads to this:

Have any of you experienced this nonsense??? What is up with this catty over-competitive crap??

Oh, and lest anyone chalk Jane's behavior to age, she's in her 40's- chronologically at least she is supposed to be mature.

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They are not your good friends. It was their own fault when they failed the test, you did good on the test because you studied hard, they should happy for you if they were your good friends. I had some good friends when I was in high school, and I couldn't make good grades because my friends brought me too much distraction. Now, all my friends live too far from me, so I have nobody to hang around and all I do is study. Guess what, I made straight As. I think you should focus on your studying, after you done with school you will have new friends.... don't be sad because of these friends.

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This kind of thing is why I don't ask what other people made on tests. If people ask what I made I have only 2 answers, "I did ok" or "not so good". Study groups don't really work for me, they seem to turn into gripe sessions about the instructor or the program or patients or something else.

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Specializes in Tele, OB, public health.

Thanks for your reply! It's nice to hear I'm not the only one in the world who thinks they could have been better friends to me...

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Specializes in Tele, OB, public health.

"This kind of thing is why I don't ask what other people made on tests. "

Yes exactly- I learned my lesson the hard way- now if people ask how I did, I just tell them "I passed" Or "not as well as I would have liked".

I hope anyone reading this thread who has not started their program or are in their first semester heeds my warning here: don't do what I did. Keep your grades to yourself, and only tell your friends and family outside of school. I wish someone would have warned me....

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Specializes in Community Health.

Yep, I agree with PP's...don't share grades! People will either be jealous and act catty, or expect you to spend your free time tutoring them and teaching them your "secrets"

I started off Nsg. school hoping to make oodles of wonderful friends...now I'm just hoping to make it through the next 9 months without my tires being slashed :p

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Dont share grades, wow. I really am glad my friends and classmates arent like you people on here at all. We share with each other just about every grade we get to help each other out and get new ideas on where we can study more from, what things are more important, or better ways to write our journals.

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Specializes in Tele, OB, public health.

"I really am glad my friends and classmates arent like you people on here at all. "

THis is a little harsh. If you had read my OP, you would have seen that I started out nursing school with a good outlook, more than willing to share grades, study tips, help, etc.

It ended very poorly. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. I'm awfully happy for you that you have what sounds like great classmates. Sadly, many of us do not. It's inappropriate for you to pass judgement on anyone's particular experience on here, especially for those of us who have had a less then sunny nursing school experience.

I posted this thread looking for support for what was a very nasty experience for me. If you have only stopped by to pass judgement or flame, I suggest you take it elsewhere.

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Specializes in Tele, OB, public health.

"I started off Nsg. school hoping to make oodles of wonderful friends...now I'm just hoping to make it through the next 9 months without my tires being slashed "

LOL- sadly, this is how I feel now too.....

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.
"I really am glad my friends and classmates arent like you people on here at all. "

THis is a little harsh. If you had read my OP, you would have seen that I started out nursing school with a good outlook, more than willing to share grades, study tips, help, etc.

It ended very poorly. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. I'm awfully happy for you that you have what sounds like great classmates. Sadly, many of us do not. It's inappropriate for you to pass judgement on anyone's particular experience on here, especially for those of us who have had a less then sunny nursing school experience.

I posted this thread looking for support for what was a very nasty experience for me. If you have only stopped by to pass judgement or flame, I suggest you take it elsewhere.

No ill will towards you at all, its the people that come out and say blatantly that they wish they never told anyone. Your situation does suck, it happened to us with one student and she ended up failing, then blaming it all on us for alienating her blah blah blah. What it comes down to for me is that if I can help someone benefit from my knowledge of how I study, work write whatever I will pass it on to help them. I really dont care if they know what my grade is. I get good grades and bad grades at times and look to my classmates for help because when it comes down to it, when you are on a unit, you want to be able to ask the other nurses for help if you need it regardless of what you think of them or past incidences.

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i started school with the thought of great fiends and companionship everyone working together ... alas I too was severely disappointed. for the most part the majority of my classmates are catty, manipulative, and vitriolic by nature... i just want to get through the next 9 weeks and move on with my life and be the best nurse i can be..:heartbeat

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Yep, I agree with PP's...don't share grades! People will either be jealous and act catty, or expect you to spend your free time tutoring them and teaching them your "secrets"

There's always those people that are so interested in what other people did on examinations. my thoughts are that they are not interested in what "you" got on the test. They are only thinking of themselves. They're hoping you did worse than them so they can feel high and mighty. And then they ask for you to teach them how you study. Well in my opinion, it doesn't matter how you study. If you want to learn the material and are actually interested you will learn it. If you're just looking at achieving the prize and are not interested in the material it's going to be very hard. Your mind will think it's unimportant information and throw it in its metaphoric recycle bin. I stopped telling people my grades a long time ago. It's a waste of time and energy. I am my own motivation :)

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