Loss of a parent and finishing preceptorship

Nursing Students General Students

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Hello everyone,

Not even two months ago my mom passed away suddenly. She was a major factor for me finally deciding to go into nursing school (I am currently finishing off an after-degree in nursing). My final preceptorship is in an ICU, which before any of this had happened, I was extremely excited about. Now, however, I feel numb and defeated.I do not know if these emotions are just because I am a newbie in a high acuity ICU or if its because of my current greif for my mom. I have only had 3 shifts in the ICU and I already feel that I am not learning fast enough. I am an honors student and I feel completely dumb after a shift.

Has anyone here dealt with similar emotions of losing a parent/loved one and continuing on in their studies/nursing work? I am unsure as to how to cope with all of this. I have made an appointment with a grief counsellor with my university for this friday but I am wondering what else I can do.

Much thanks

Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

Sorry about your loss. I am confused if you are still in nursing school "internship" or are you working in the ICU with a preceptor? If you are in school you must identify quickly if you cannot currently complete the internship. Once you earn a grade no one cares why..it is on your permanent transcripts. If you decide to stick it out then you need to focus on work when you are at work (school).

Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

I think it's a combo of both. As a student any area will be difficult and there is a lot you don't know and won't know until you experience it first hand. After graduation and you become a nurse you will still feel " dumb" at times. It's a huge learning curve. Add that with the ICU and well you are normal. We all felt that way one time or another or many times. The death of your mother is not helping things. I am so sorry for what you are going through and yes, see someone about that but don't be so hard on yourself. Honor student or not, you are still learning, this will hopefully continue for years to come ( the learning part). Hugs to you

Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

If I misread you, I'm sorry. Student or new nurse, I would still say the same thing.

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

I'm so sorry for your loss! The ICU is a huge learning curve. Huge. Couple that with what is on your mind, it's no wonder you're having a hard time. What does your preceptor have to say about your progress? I would start there -- I can't tell without knowing either of you if you're performing at the expected level or if you're truly not functioning adequately. If you are in danger of failing, you really should discuss your options with your advisor at the school. My program had several women take a semester off after having babies...I would think the sudden loss of a parent would be an understandable reason to take some time off. But like windsurfer said, better to do that BEFORE failing. Big hugs!!

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Honestly, while thankfully nothing like that has happened to me during nursing school, my father passed away in 2013 suddenly from cardiac seizure, and I admit to being nervous when i begin ER/ICU preceptorships. It's just not the same anymore, that 'oh i'm saving lives' turns into 'oh this is where my parent died'. It becomes difficult. The main thing I can tell you is to focus on the fact that you are there to help! My father dying was one of the biggest reasons I became a nurse. I want to make sure that everything that can be done is being done to help a patient, because I know there's a family member on the other side of that curtain, waiting. You won't save everyone, and it's not your fault if you don't. But just keep in mind your reasons for being a nurse, and that it's not all going to be easy but it WILL be worth it when you discharge someone home to their loved one!

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