Losing Friends....

bookscrapper · Oct 8, 2008

I found that I made more friends being in nursing school. Look to those in your classes; they know what you're going through and will be supportive. For the friends you currently have, make a date for an outing for the day after your next test to spend time with them when you'll hopefully be a little more relaxed. It may seem like you need to spend all your time studying, but you do need to take time for yourself or you'll get burn out. You need a healthy balance.

sfranRNstudent · Oct 8, 2008

friends come and go....worry about your school and yourself before them if they are good friends they should support you and understand and be proud of you! i start in jan. and i am not worried about my friends lol the ones that are important will stick around!) i dont mean to sound harsch or mean ! lol

phluteloop · Oct 8, 2008

I have also experienced a bit of this, and being quite the soical butterfly prenursing school, it wasn't easy to stomach at first. Then I realized those who were truly friends stuck around, weren't hurt if I didn't return a phone call right away, and were flexible when it came to scheduling a night out. A fellow college student/friend of mine and I have made Wednesday nights our "chill" night and do our best to sticking to that evening.

Little bit of this ---->:cheers:

Remember, this time in nursing school is yours and no one should make you feel wrong for your decsions. :)

anewday · Oct 8, 2008

I've noticed some coldness from a so called friend too because my priority isn't going to the latest club, party, etc...Like I care! REAL friends will be supportive of what you are doing. REAL friends will understand that you might not be able to hang out like you used to because you are in a very demanding program. Any one who is upset at me because I have to change my priorities for school can get lost seriously. It's all about me right now. I am going to do what I have to do to make sure that I am successful. Anyone upset with me over something like that wasn't a friend to begin with :wink2:

missjennmb · Oct 8, 2008

Just think about 10 years from now...5 years from now... what is going to be more important to you? Nursing obviously. I don't know what your friends do for careers, but I can definitely say that if I let my friends get in the way of my education, I would sorely regret it. I let other things get in the way (a boy!) first time around, and I regret it more than you can possibly imagine.

Eye on the prize, baby!

~FutureNurse~ · Oct 8, 2008

thanks gusy! Yea, none of my friends are in school. We all have small children, though. Most of what you guys have said, is how I feel. I know that this is the most important thing for me and my family. Failing is just NOT an option for me. So, if they can't deal with the fact that I am not avaliable as much as I used to be..then..O'well.

I do know that I need a balance. I don't ALWAYS stay in studying. Just when I have an upcoming test. Hey..I have to make an 80 to pass!

Anywho..thanks for the advice! :)

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Oct 8, 2008

as you mature, your set of friends will change. This is a positive reflection of your own personal growth. You can remain friendly, but some people will drop off the map. However, you will develop other friends who will share your interests and act more "grown up" than the ones you describe. Stay true to yourself, and good friends will be there.

CT Pixie, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2008

It might be due to my age (I have almost a solid 20 yrs on you) but I noticed that my friendships strengthened during my time in nursing school. My friends (I have only a hanful of friends but quite a lot of friendly aquantinces) rallied around me, gave me the much needed support and sounding boards I needed during my time in school.

I found my friends, calling my hubby, asking if there was anything I needed help with. They didn't want to call me directly knowing I'd say, no, I don't need anything, but thanks. They helped with babysitting issues, offered up a place for me to "hide out" from the pressures of family and school. They helped quiz me for tests, they offered themselves (literally) when I needed to practice lab skills etc.

I did have one or two people who got a bit upset because I couldn't drop everything and go shopping with them, or to the movie, out for a quick drink etc. Those one or two showed their true colors. If I wasn't available to them 24/7 they didn't want to be around..their loss. They showed me that if in a true emergency, they probably wouldn't be there for me like my real friends were. My TRUE friends showed me that I was correct in feeling that they would be there for me thru thick and thin, because they were. And they were at my graduation, yelling and clapping the loudest for me. Because they knew what I went through.

School is the upmost importance right now for you, you circle of friends changes quite a lot in your early and mid 20's. Just take this as a lesson learned, with friends like those who are peeved at you for not partying with them, are people you really don't need around you.

psalm, RN · Oct 8, 2008

When I was in nursing school at the age of 48 and studying all the time, my college-age son's friend laughed and said,"Just study enuff to pass". My son looked at his buddy and said, "So, when you're in the hospital, do you want a nurse who knew enuff to 'pass', or someone who knows what she's doing?"

As someone said, Keep Your Eyes On The Prize...and the real friendships will still be there.

kat von b · Oct 8, 2008

I know exactly what you mean. I actually had a "friend" tell me that I'm a bad friend since I "never have time for her" and that her friend that is in her 2nd year hangs out with her all the time. Well thats all fine and dandy but I'm just starting out and trying to find my groove and I'm married with a ton of other friends and a big family and I haven't had a free weekend since the summer. Then I have friends who are by my side and know when I need a break (usually Friday nights!) and when I need to be left alone. Same with my hubby! I've made some good friends since starting NS in Sept too. So as mean as it sounds I'm better off without her.

Your true friends will understand and be behind you 100%!

Learn2Nurse · Oct 8, 2008

I can't believe I found this thread today. Excuse me while I vent.:argue: I have experienced the same anger from my friends. I have been so busy after going back to school last year. I have five kids. One of my boys went off to college last year, but he still needed his mom. My youngest is 4 now. I had surgery over the last Christmas break, by the way none of my friends came to help. One of my sons had two surgeries. First one was during finals last Spring. Oh ya, I forgot about the ice storm last December during finals week of fall semester when I didn't have power or water for 10 days. I went to school full time all summer as well. And as you all know, when you are trying to get in to nursing your grade average is so important. Let me say it was a stressful year.

Anyway I saw a friend at my son's football game two weeks ago. I saw her and yelled hi! and waved at her. She said hi and turned to her husband and said something. She was very chili toward me. So I decided to go over and make her uncomfortable. I sat right next to her and asked what her problem was. Well basically she feels that since I went back to school I just don't have time for friends. I couldn't believe her. I told her what things have been like for me since I went back to school, and that I have been a good friend to her and blah blah blah. And I walked off. I have just decided that I don't need people in my life that don't support or encourage me. I spend enough time second guessing my choices. I don't need "friends" to do that for me.

I do have real friends. I may not see them but once a year but every time we see each other we are happy to catch up. My real friends don't begrudge my success. Needless to say I did not shed a tear over this friendship. I am amazed though at the way people can turn on you. It reminds me of when people say that when they have lost weight they also lost friends. A lesson in human nature I guess. Sorry I wrote a book.