Just Started Nursing School!

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I just started college and my study is nursing. I'm starting out great, though nursing classes haven't yet started. I'm still trying to adapt to college life & the only thing that seems to bug me at my small college ( Brown Mackie ) is that I am only 18 and I'm surrounded by people that are minimum 5+ years older and some even could be my grandma! I need advice in fitting in with the other older nursing students and how to handle being on my own since at the moment they don't want anything to do with me because I'm so young..

all the at school

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Wow, I thought I had prepared myself for the realities of nursing school but maybe not. As stated, I am a senior in high school so I know I have a lot to learn about life. In fact, most of "life" I have yet to learn. But I believe I have prepared myself as much as a high school student can. I have a 98.97 GPA, am taking microbiology and A&P as electives this year to get a foundation for things to come in nursing school, have maintained grades and community service to earn over $86,000 combined in scholarships from two different nursing schools (will have to choose which one to attend) and have worked summers since I was 15 at a local amusement park and have saved over $7000 for school. I did not research the OP to see what they have posted about previously, just took the post at face value with her saying she was having trouble making friends but would like some. From my college visits, something they stressed to all students that will be living on campus is to get involved in something. Don't just bury your nose in your books, hide out in your dorm and isolate yourself from everyone and everything. I am very fortunate in that I knew early what I wanted to do with my adult life, my family has prepared as well as we can for me to be successful with my goals, and it is up to me once I get there to make it happen. Naive I may be, but I truly do hope I make friends when I get there. Four years of nursing school and living on campus will be a miserable place if making friends is detrimental to my success and somehow that seems counterproductive. Guess I will see when I get there. I am posting this because I am making an assumption (yeah, I know) that I am the "other" one that is not prepared for the realities of nursing school. I truly have prepared to the best of my abilities to this point, I think.
Re-read my initial post. I advised to make friends OUTSIDE of nursing. Nursing students can be complete back stabbers, and you're stuck with them for 4 years.

And yes, other students can be back stabbers as well, but you don't have to deal with them as intimately as with your fellow nursing students (clinical, projects...where you are forced to get along.)

Also, I immediately felt guilty associating you with the OP. I really did. I just want what's best for nursing students, because it can be hell. Wonderful and hell combined. I want students to learn from our mistakes and have a much more positive experience than so many of us did. One thing I have to say is that pursuing a degree in Nursing is nothing like many of the other degrees out there. It IS life consuming. Yes, by all means, have some friends, blow off some steam after an exam, but I stand by my opinion that the *main* focus should be on your studies. And of course I remember Erikson. However, when you choose nursing, you are going to sacrifice some things. Some of it being some of your youth. You will be a more mature 18-22 yr old than the other students in your university because Nursing requires it. I commend you and I wish you the very best of luck.

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"I know its easier said than done, but your focus shouldn't be on fitting in. It should be focused on your studies. My experience with nursing school was that it was very click-ish. I would see these groups of "friends" hanging out, then I would see these same "friends" talk about each other behind their backs. I recommend only "talking shop" so to speak around these people. You DO have a common ground with each and every person, regardless of age. Nursing. So when you're sitting waiting for class to start, find something to add to a conversation that has to do with an exam or an assignment. When you start working, you're going to be working with the same wide age range and you will have to get along. Its just my experience and my opinion, but don't make "friends." Acquaintances with light conversation is good, but make your real friendships outside the nursing realm. If you only take my advice on one thing, take this advice: Don't get sucked in by gossip. That's often how immature people make "friends." You don't want to be associated with that. After graduation, you may need these people to network with, so make the best impression. And that impression is that you're trustworthy."

Good for you if you never worried about fitting in! She has not started nursing classes yet, and is on her own for the first time, and I am sure anyone would be feeling lonely and would be wondering how to fit in. I don't think that asking twice BEFORE school starts qualifies her for being considered immature! If I lived away from home I would be trying to make friends as well, who wants to be alone for four years besides when you go home for breaks? I am sorry that you feel that all nursing student friends are backstabbers, but that has not been my experience.

To the OP, I understand that you need to feel accepted and don't want to be completely buried in your books with no one to talk to. As others said, I believe the best thing to do is to find other nursing students to talk about school with. Eventually this will lead to friendships, but as others said "talking shop" is the way to get in. Good luck!!

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"I know its easier said than done, but your focus shouldn't be on fitting in. It should be focused on your studies. My experience with nursing school was that it was very click-ish. I would see these groups of "friends" hanging out, then I would see these same "friends" talk about each other behind their backs. I recommend only "talking shop" so to speak around these people. You DO have a common ground with each and every person, regardless of age. Nursing. So when you're sitting waiting for class to start, find something to add to a conversation that has to do with an exam or an assignment. When you start working, you're going to be working with the same wide age range and you will have to get along. Its just my experience and my opinion, but don't make "friends." Acquaintances with light conversation is good, but make your real friendships outside the nursing realm. If you only take my advice on one thing, take this advice: Don't get sucked in by gossip. That's often how immature people make "friends." You don't want to be associated with that. After graduation, you may need these people to network with, so make the best impression. And that impression is that you're trustworthy."Good for you if you never worried about fitting in! She has not started nursing classes yet, and is on her own for the first time, and I am sure anyone would be feeling lonely and would be wondering how to fit in. I don't think that asking twice BEFORE school starts qualifies her for being considered immature! If I lived away from home I would be trying to make friends as well, who wants to be alone for four years besides when you go home for breaks? I am sorry that you feel that all nursing student friends are backstabbers, but that has not been my experience.To the OP, I understand that you need to feel accepted and don't want to be completely buried in your books with no one to talk to. As others said, I believe the best thing to do is to find other nursing students to talk about school with. Eventually this will lead to friendships, but as others said "talking shop" is the way to get in. Good luck!!
"Good for me for never being worried about fitting in?" Talk about ignorance. I was bullied to the point where 2 nursing students were kicked out of the program from it. But before they were kicked out, I felt so low, I downed 120 mg of xanax and 2 bottles of Lexapro, making sure I did it right after my husband left for work so it would take enough time to kill me. My MIL unexpectedly came home and found me. I tried the hardest I could to kill myself because I felt so alone. Don't you dare tell me how I felt about making friendships. After my suicide attempt, I learned passing nursing school was about ME, about studying, about having confidence in MYSELF to care for my patients. With the support of family and NON Nursing friends
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"I know its easier said than done, but your focus shouldn't be on fitting in. It should be focused on your studies. My experience with nursing school was that it was very click-ish. I would see these groups of "friends" hanging out, then I would see these same "friends" talk about each other behind their backs. I recommend only "talking shop" so to speak around these people. You DO have a common ground with each and every person, regardless of age. Nursing. So when you're sitting waiting for class to start, find something to add to a conversation that has to do with an exam or an assignment. When you start working, you're going to be working with the same wide age range and you will have to get along. Its just my experience and my opinion, but don't make "friends." Acquaintances with light conversation is good, but make your real friendships outside the nursing realm. If you only take my advice on one thing, take this advice: Don't get sucked in by gossip. That's often how immature people make "friends." You don't want to be associated with that. After graduation, you may need these people to network with, so make the best impression. And that impression is that you're trustworthy."Good for you if you never worried about fitting in! She has not started nursing classes yet, and is on her own for the first time, and I am sure anyone would be feeling lonely and would be wondering how to fit in. I don't think that asking twice BEFORE school starts qualifies her for being considered immature! If I lived away from home I would be trying to make friends as well, who wants to be alone for four years besides when you go home for breaks? I am sorry that you feel that all nursing student friends are backstabbers, but that has not been my experience.To the OP, I understand that you need to feel accepted and don't want to be completely buried in your books with no one to talk to. As others said, I believe the best thing to do is to find other nursing students to talk about school with. Eventually this will lead to friendships, but as others said "talking shop" is the way to get in. Good luck!!
And I find it very interesting that you used MY phrase "talking shop" when completely dismissing the rest of my very heartfelt posts. Yes, I do think that if your SOLE concern is making friends when you're entering a program such as Nursing, then you need to mature a little bit. Luckily, nursing school will do that for her. I just want the best possible experiences for nursing students, and that means preparing yourself for the harsh reality that the nursing school experience is like no other. So we should be more sympathetic to 18 year olds than older adults with responsibilities outside of nursing? I don't think so. 18 or 48, you signed up for the same extremely demanding program. I want them to prepare themselves the best they can because I CARE ABOUT THEM.
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"I know its easier said than done, but your focus shouldn't be on fitting in. It should be focused on your studies. My experience with nursing school was that it was very click-ish. I would see these groups of "friends" hanging out, then I would see these same "friends" talk about each other behind their backs. I recommend only "talking shop" so to speak around these people. You DO have a common ground with each and every person, regardless of age. Nursing. So when you're sitting waiting for class to start, find something to add to a conversation that has to do with an exam or an assignment. When you start working, you're going to be working with the same wide age range and you will have to get along. Its just my experience and my opinion, but don't make "friends." Acquaintances with light conversation is good, but make your real friendships outside the nursing realm. If you only take my advice on one thing, take this advice: Don't get sucked in by gossip. That's often how immature people make "friends." You don't want to be associated with that. After graduation, you may need these people to network with, so make the best impression. And that impression is that you're trustworthy."Good for you if you never worried about fitting in! She has not started nursing classes yet, and is on her own for the first time, and I am sure anyone would be feeling lonely and would be wondering how to fit in. I don't think that asking twice BEFORE school starts qualifies her for being considered immature! If I lived away from home I would be trying to make friends as well, who wants to be alone for four years besides when you go home for breaks? I am sorry that you feel that all nursing student friends are backstabbers, but that has not been my experience.To the OP, I understand that you need to feel accepted and don't want to be completely buried in your books with no one to talk to. As others said, I believe the best thing to do is to find other nursing students to talk about school with. Eventually this will lead to friendships, but as others said "talking shop" is the way to get in. Good luck!!
I too left home once. At 18, moved to Florida for my bf, away from family, friends, everything I knew. Again, talk about ignorance.
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Your posts' are coming across judgmental because and you are calling her immature for wanting to fit in. You would think that with your experience that you would be more open to others feelings, which is not how it is coming off. How is it being more empathetic to an 18 year old than a 48 year old by giving advice on how to make friends, because I do know students in their 40's+ that worry about fitting in who are certainly mature.

I could only gather my opinion about "not worrying about fitting in" from your posts.

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Your posts' are coming across judgmental because and you are calling her immature for wanting to fit in. You would think that with your experience that you would be more open to others feelings, which is not how it is coming off. How is it being more empathetic to an 18 year old than a 48 year old by giving advice on how to make friends, because I do know students in their 40's+ that worry about fitting in.I could only gather my opinion about "not worrying about fitting in" from your posts.
Fitting in and making acquaintances and becoming part of study groups.... are different things. Perhaps I misjudged her post. I read her posts as "yea! I'm in nursing school, nobody likes me and I just care about having friends." I was very concerned for her that she was not taking her studies seriously. Again, I could have misjudged her posts.
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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Sleepy RN, POWERFUL success story! I can understand your compassion and interest from your opinion BEFORE you shared your experience in your recent post.

I think we need to take in consideration in regards to people giving support and opinions as well as how we interpret them when we read them. I never took Sleepy's insight as negative...but others have commented slightly harshly in response to her comments, forcing her to give insight into her experience...can we just read (and tread lightly) and give our own point of view and agree to disagree???

To the OP, I agree to shop talk. I honestly went to nursing school and can honestly say I look at most of the people I went to school with as colleagues, not friends. For me, my human contacts are built on a level of respect, so most people I am "friends" with are people that share that commonality of the philosophy I hold. That doesn't mean we are "stick in the muds," lol. Ut just happened that I ended up gravitating towards people who felt that way, and stay in contact with most of them, especially thanks to social media, we meet up every couple of months. I was never about the cattiness, the competing, and the self-image issues that we struggle internally with be shared amongst as a "clique-like" atmosphere, and that can rear its ugly head in a nursing program...it can get down right ridiculous.

If you are on a campus, there are plenty of activities and orgs to get involved with to help give you that more "social" side... You have plenty of time once you start your career to engage in activities and find great people of various back grounds to get to know, respect, and have fun with. Good luck in your studies!!!

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She's personalizing people "not wanting to be her friend" when in reality it could be they know the seriousness of nursing school and are FOCUSING on school. I found her comment about older students slightly offensive myself

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I am in second semester of nursing school right now and my nursing friends are the greatest friends I've ever had! The best thing about them is that we support each other's emotion and feeling during school. Your nursing friends are the only ones who can understand what you are going through in school. Dont be afraid to talk and make friends. In nursing, you need to open up and be more social.

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Sleepy RN, POWERFUL success story! I can understand your compassion and interest from your opinion BEFORE you shared your experience in your recent post.I think we need to take in consideration in regards to people giving support and opinions as well as how we interpret them when we read them. I never took Sleepy's insight as negative...but others have commented slightly harshly in response to her comments, forcing her to give insight into her experience...can we just read (and tread lightly) and give our own point of view and agree to disagree???To the OP, I agree to shop talk. I honestly went to nursing school and can honestly say I look at most of the people I went to school with as colleagues, not friends. For me, my human contacts are built on a level of respect, so most people I am "friends" with are people that share that commonality of the philosophy I hold. That doesn't mean we are "stick in the muds," lol. Ut just happened that I ended up gravitating towards people who felt that way, and stay in contact with most of them, especially thanks to social media, we meet up every couple of months. I was never about the cattiness, the competing, and the self-image issues that we struggle internally with be shared amongst as a "clique-like" atmosphere, and that can rear its ugly head in a nursing program...it can get down right ridiculous. If you are on a campus, there are plenty of activities and orgs to get involved with to help give you that more "social" side... You have plenty of time once you start your career to engage in activities and find great people of various back grounds to get to know, respect, and have fun with. Good luck in your studies!!!
Thanks LadyFree. I obviously got worked up and defensive. Its because I care so much about student success
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