I just lost my brother, hoping to get some feedback

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN]

I start my 4th semester on Tuesday and I just lost my brother to Suicide. I lost my grandmother 15 years ago to suicide, they did it the same way and both of them were not found for days. I just got the news on my baby brother last night. Anyway, I have never lost anyone close to me like this. Things with my grandmother were not good so I wasn't close with her but with my brother, I was close with him growing up. Not as much as an adult but him, me and my sister grew up in an extremely abusive environment and used each other as support growing up to survive. So I have always felt protective over him. Being that this is all new to me I am just kind of at a loss. If I keep myself distracted or talk about it all I do OK. But the minute I am not distracted I break down.

I was just wondering if anyone has had to go through something similar during school and how they coped or any advice. This is one topic (death of a loved one) I do not have any experience with.

Thank You for any help

[ComeClarity]

Mi Vida Loca, I'm so sorry about your brother. I lost my brother too at the age of 25, except it was from a car accident instead of a suicide, and I was only 11 at the time - although it did have a profound, lasting effect on me. I couldn't imagine trying to focus on nursing school in the midst of enduring such a loss. Take advantage of any and all counseling available to you. If you do decide to finish out the semester and you feel too overwhelmed, take some time off if your school allows it (I know nursing schools are usually pretty inflexible when it comes to things like that, but maybe yours is different). Feel free to PM me and I will give you my contact info if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care of yourself first and foremost. :hug:

[letsseehere]

I am so sorry that you are going through this, Mi Vida Loca.

I'm not sure exactly what to say, but I do want to second what Purple Scrubs said. It's so important to take the time to process all of this, and to talk with other people who understand. For me, the turning point was when I met a fellow suicide survivor. It was amazingly cathartic to speak openly without feeling like I had to censor myself to avoid sounding too morbid or making people uncomfortable. It was sooo wonderful to have someone else really understand what I was feeling and thinking.

If you can't find a suicide survivor support group or feel uncomfortable going, maybe try participating in an online survivor forum. Sometimes just reading other people's stories helps put things in perspective.

Never tell yourself that you can't talk about it because you "should be over it already". It doesn't matter if happens in a week, or a month, or a year - if you feel like the stress or anxiety is beginning to pile up, take charge and schedule another appointment with the grief counselor or stop by the support group. I promise, you will get through this and you will be okay.

You are in my thoughts... If you ever feel the need to talk, please don't hesitate to PM. :heartbeat