Having second thoughts about NS - Please talk to off the ledge!

[midnight*sky]

Hi everyone,

I am having a bit of a dilemma here. I am very unhappy with my school and its instructors, and one in particular who is a large part of the nursing program is causing me to have second thoughts about nursing altogether. She makes me want to give up my dream of becoming a nurse. Currently, I have a 4.0 in NS. However, that does not in any way help me in my decision to push forward and continue at this school. Or, thanks to this instructor, even want to continue in nursing AT ALL. Let me tell you about her:

She does NOT teach at all, the second you walk into the classroom she immediately banters on about how nursing basically sucks, tells us these horror stories every day, makes it clear that she was/is a bully to nursing students, new grads, and that ALL but 1 nurse she ever met is incompetent, yells at us - call us stupid...I could go on and on

Right now, I have her for Pharmacology. We are 1/3 through the class/semester now and we have done NOTHING. We had one test on the history of pharmacology 3 weeks ago and that's it. Last class and the class before, the entire 4 hour class, she talked to us about how hard pharm is - She kept saying we need to begin lecture, but she just kept talking about nothing related. Then, during one class, she said for us to have a 5 minute break. So we did, and we came back and she never came back to class. She popped in at the end and said "OMG, are you guys still here?! You can leave now!"

I WANT To learn. I NEED To learn to pass HESI and NCLEX of course. I've been reading our book anyway, but there's a lot of material I need help with. I asked her a few questions but she never answers. She attempts to, but she always goes off into another subject - She is one of those people that when they start talking, they can't stop. And it goes from one thing to another to another to another for hours until she doesn't even remember what she began talking about in the first place. Never the subject matter. :angryfire

With her permission, I've been recording the 'lectures' and so has one of my friends. (Why she agreed I'll never know...She knows she is in hot water already with the DON.) Needless to say, this week we are heading over to the DON to have a little word about the situation. I am never one to do such, I usually keep to myself - but I've HAD IT!

It's not just her, though....The entrie nursing program is terrible. There is one instructor whom I adore. Thankfully I do have her this semester. I've been talking to her personally about what's been going on and how I'm thinking about leaving nursing for good, and she's advising me against it and trying to help me out. Though she said if I'd like to go to another NS, she will send me with a letter of recommendation. She is well known in this state, actually and has taught at many schools in the area and has worked in the best hospitals in the country. (She's very well known and highly respected.) She is the only thing going for this school and they know it and flaunt it :icon_roll

It seems like many nurses I know also hate their job, are miserable and depressed, have no time for family/holidays, etc. That also makes me have second thoughts. I've always had a strong passion for nursing and feel it's best for me. I'm doing very well and enjoy clinicals. However, all of these stories I hear...........I don't know anymore.....I am severely lacking in self-confidence and self-esteem and struggle with depression and anxiety myself so it'll be hard enough as it is. I'm not sure I can emotionally handle it and I'll end up miserable.

I have a BS in Healthcare Administration, so that is my 'back up plan' so to speak. Not that I'd be happy in ANY job relating to it either....

I feel like I just won't/can't be happy in any way.......

[Sarah Hay]

Wow. That sounds horrid! I loved my Pharmacology teacher and I wish she wasn't retiring. ]= This professor sounds out of wack and I think you need to talk to the director of nursing education at your school. No professor should teach any student like that (not that she is even teaching...) and I'd get a tape recorder and start keeping record of 'her lectures.'

:redpinkhe Sarah Hay, SN

[mochabean]

How long has this instructor been teaching pharmacology? If she's been teaching for a while, I'm wondering why she's still there. I'm sure plenty of people have complained about her in the past.

[cursedandblessed]

so sorry you're having this problem. i feel for you i really do.

[nuwbee25]

That happened to me and my classmates with our patho professor. She was terribllleeeeeeee, homework due every class that had to be a picture of an pathologoical process yet she graded it like we were in preschool (ie coloring or messy) her lectures made no sense and she ended up babbling about how smart she was and all of her "success" stories throughout her career. Soon the dean and the assistant dean caught on to her ridiculous teaching methods and she was replaced. It did leave a bad taste in our mouths but we didn't drop out of the program and we all eventually moved passed that issue and graduated. I am sure this instructor of yours will not last long because a poor professor will catch up with a college when it comes to NCLEX rates and HESI scores. Her poor methods will reflect on the college and when they have less and less people applying and they have less money coming in because of a poor reputation, maybe they will take it more seriously. However she has probably been able to get away with certain things because nursing teaching faculty is very hard to come by. I think you should try to stick it out if you can because she will not be your instructor forever!!! Worst comes to worst I would start considering other nursing schools as you mentioned. Also about nurses hating their jobs I think it depends who you talk to. Some people love their jobs and some people are just burned out. You said you enjoy clinicals and are doing well in class...why not find out for yourself if nursing is right or wrong for you? Confidence comes with time and experience! You will always wonder what if.....

[picurn10]

well, I think NS is a means to an end. What do you want to do with your life? Is nursing it, or could you be just as happy if you moved into another profession?

I started out as a nursing major, but then freaked out over the prospect of NS and all the horror stories I'd heard. I switched to a totally different major, and now here I am 10yrs later back at nursing. It's really all I ever saw myself doing, and once I started into the NS cirriculum it's been so affirming. I only kick myself that I didn't complete this back when I was 21, and instead I'm a single mom really working my butt off to get through this.

I understand that it really stinks to have bad instructors, but why should she be any determinent in your future? She's going to be a distant, bad memory before you know it.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

i went through a basic adn program where the instructors were a dream and then went back for my bsn years later when i was a very seasoned rn where the professors were a nightmare and we students discussed among us how horrible these profs were and often thought of just dropping out all the time. we constantly told ourselves to keep going. . .it's only 2 years out of our entire life and then it will be over and we will never see these profs again. we also said nasty stuff like we were being trained to be bsns, which stood for ****** ****** nurses. the camaraderie helped us get through the rough spots.

all of the talking and carrying on by the first instructor that you speak of sounds a lot like she uses you students as her therapy to get her frustrations and anger off her chest. she must have had one harrowing nursing career. when people holding themselves in a superior position to others (all but 1 nurse she ever met is incompetent, yells at us - call us stupid) sounds like low self-esteem and a lot of projection of her own incompetencies by dwelling on the inabilities of others. that is pretty much what bullies do. when you are in a vulnerable position where a bully is in authority there isn't much you can do except bend to their will. as long as she is following the rules and being fair about your grades, tolerating the behavior helps when understanding what is behind all the venom. most of it is self-serving to help her boost her own self-esteem. knowing that, when she starts a tirade you can just ignore it. do what we did. . .think about how much time you have left before you will never have to see her again.

as for the not teach at all comment that you made i do have some thoughts on this. i have been to school many times both community college and universities. i have had some humdinger instructors. if there is one thing i have learned it is that college level learning is primarily independent anyway. instructors are facilitators. a teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. in nursing, particularly my basic nursing program, we did not have formal lectures. we were given lists of objectives and told to go find the information on our own. if we had difficulty finding it we were to go to our faculty adviser and tell them. what did they do? give us suggestions of places in textbooks or nursing journals where we could find that information. they never gave us a direct answer. all the instructors were on the same page with this and it was for a very good reason. to promote our independence and so we would learn how to teach ourselves. i am so glad to have learned this. when i got out on the job as an rn there were many times that i had questions and had to find information. i had no problem digging in and knowing where to start searching. i have to tell you that over the years i have worked with colleagues who had no clue how to be independent. if there wasn't someone there to hold them by the hand and show them exactly how to do something new they were, quite literally, lost--couldn't think for themselves. as rns we can't afford to get lost. we have to be able to think on our feet, find answers and make judgments from minute to minute. that is what the job entails. ask this bully of an instructor and she will confirm this. and, from my own experiences and what i know about teaching, you will learn and recall much more efficiently when you find things on your own--not when you hear them in a lecture. you will also cement the learning into your brain when you discover something on your own and then ask questions about it in order to clarify or fine tune that information. that is a good way to use an instructor--question them to death about what you are discovering on your own. the bully, in particular, might be astounded that someone actually cares about the subject.

i've been talking to her [another instructor] personally about what's been going on and how i'm thinking about leaving nursing for good, and she's advising me against it and trying to help me out.

i would listen to her. when you compare it with the rest of your life, a few months of nursing school is nothing. high school lasted longer and you remember how long that went on. graduation seemed to take forever to get here!

it seems like many nurses i know also hate their job, are miserable and depressed, have no time for family/holidays, etc. that also makes me have second thoughts.

well, you haven't met everyone and you never met me. i loved my job, was happy at it and had fun with my coworkers. of course i had stressful days, but do not confuse stress with hatred for the work.

your word for today is perseverance. one of the things i also did as a student was print out clipart or cartoons and some inspirational saying to go underneath them. i plastered these on my notebooks. they are something to look at and remind yourself of why you are in nursing school. here's some for you about perseverance:

• the road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  
• when the world says, "give up," hope whispers, "try it one more time."
  
• he conquers who endures. (persius)
  
• the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
  
• if we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
  
• i may not be there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday.
  
• success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
  

and, something i saw seemed to sum up what is going on for you right now.

our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future.

don't forget your plans you made for your future.

by the way, my personal favorites for my notebooks were a picture of a buffalo with the quotation: when the chips are down, the buffalo is empty, and a picture of a rowboat by a lake with a sign saying "welcome to **** creek – sorry, we’re out of paddles".