Getting along with classmates??

  1. I have a question for people already in the nursing program...I am going to start my first semester in January. I'm nervous for many reasons, one of which is, are we going to get along with each other? As early on as our pre-req's people were already jealous and breaking off into cliques...It made it all very tense and not fun! I'm not looking forward to spending the next two years of my life with miserable, jealous people...especially when a bunch of women are together, we tend to get a little "catty"...misery loves company and the next thing you know everyone is in turmoil!!!

    So, I guess my questions are, how did you rise above it and not get involved?
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  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   jackson145
    I'm worrying about the same thing. I'm hoping that the jealousy will fade once the competition of getting into the program is over. I have made a good friend through pre-reqs and we've agreed to be lab partners. At least I know I'll have one person to talk to. My husband said (he just finished LPN) that once NS starts, the students adopt a "students against instructor" attitude. He said the instructors will try to trip you up and catch you in mistakes and everyone bands together to make sure no one gets humiliated. Doesn't that sound encouraging?
  4. by   caliotter3
    While you will probably find the same cliques in NS, you will have the ability to form relationships based on being courteous, friendly, and helpful to as many of your fellow students as possible. Even if you find only one study partner that you can rely on, you will have accomplished something. Just try to treat everyone you deal with nicely, as you would like to be treated. The biggest problem I found was group projects, which my school seemed to thrive on. There are always one or two people who will ruin the working atmosphere of the group. You have to deal with them as best you can. Make certain you always do your part of the projects as well as you can, so nobody can complain about you. Good luck. Don't worry so much about the other students. When it comes down to tests and most of the written work, you will be responsible for your work and that is plenty to worry about.
  5. by   User123456
    i have found that someones point of view is very differant from another. inregards to the teacher ganging up on students. im sure this can happen but seems strange that someone teaching would want their students to fail? i had a wonderful clinical and lecture teacher who was always ready to help, but expected you to know your stuff not be lazy and do what you were expected. some students thought that was her being mean. i took it as tough love and trying to get us to do things right. its all prespective. also asfar as cliques. avoid! they usually dont last long because walling your self off from others is a sure way to get in trouble. you have to work with all types so just take school as a learning experiance for later.. good luck!!!
  6. by   pinkmarshmallow
    I know that when I first started (I'm in 3rd year now) our class was quite cliquey and we were all split up into wee groups. But as soon as we were on clinical placement, it changed and everybody kind of got together and helped each other out. I know that there have been times Ive walked into a new ward on my first day,and been really nervous,and then seen somebody from my class who is on that ward too! It really helps to see a familiar face in those kinds of situations, and as a result I'm really good friends with a lot of the girls I wasn't that friendly with in 1st year! I think the knowledge that we are all going through the same thing helps to bring people together and stop jealousy and **********. I'm sure you'll get on great when you start nursing!!
  7. by   MB37
    Our class has groups of friends, but not really any clicques in the obnoxious sense of the word. Each clinical group is pretty close, since we obviously go through a lot together, and mine at least all shares notes and study guides amongst ourselves. Some people have friends outside their group, if they knew them from undergrad or prereqs or something, I haven't bothered so much. I'm in the accelerated program, so my group is a little older than the traditional students, and they might be a little more clicquey than we are - I just haven't really noticed, so it can't be too bad at my school.
  8. by   nurz2be
    Quote from toreyjane
    I have a question for people already in the nursing program...I am going to start my first semester in January. I'm nervous for many reasons, one of which is, are we going to get along with each other? As early on as our pre-req's people were already jealous and breaking off into cliques...It made it all very tense and not fun! I'm not looking forward to spending the next two years of my life with miserable, jealous people...especially when a bunch of women are together, we tend to get a little "catty"...misery loves company and the next thing you know everyone is in turmoil!!!

    So, I guess my questions are, how did you rise above it and not get involved?
    One piece of advice I can from personal experience give you is from the start keep your actual grades to yourself. If someone asks how you did say you passed and leave it at that. A LOT of jealousy issues arise when the handful of students who either don't study or only study enough to get by run around and ask everyone what their grades are and then the next thing you know everyone in class knows exactly what your grades are. I am in no way implying you be ashamed of your actual grades but trust me, it is better left unsaid.
  9. by   FireStarterRN
    My nursing class of 30, divided into 3 clinical groups, had some nastiness and tension. It got worse towards the end of the program and manifested itsself ultimately in fights over certain aspects of our pinning and graduation plans. Also, as some were struggling academically, they became jealous and mean towards those who were succeeding. Also, people became resentful towards some students who were lazy and given leeway in clinicals.

    My best suggestion is to resist temptation to advertise your good grades if you do well, that will eliminate people feeling resentment of you. Also, don't boast about how great clinicals are for you, if you excell at that. Don't get caught up in any melodramas, I'm sure there will be some, it's inevitable. Act confident but not cocky. Also, don't advertise too publicly how nervous you are. Some people will want to humiliate you if they sense insecurities.

    Good luck!!!
    Last edit by FireStarterRN on Dec 6, '07 : Reason: typo error
  10. by   jla623
    I hate it when things like that happen. It REALLY annoys me. I try to stay away from all of that drama, but sometimes if it involves you it's hard to ignore. I'm worried about the same thing. I always find someone that is catty and jealous of me for something. Things like that used to bother me a lot, but you just have to realize that it will always happen your whole life. No matter how nice you are to people.

    I guess it kind of helps to know that you are better than all of that! Maybe you will get some satisfaction in that! Just don't associate with those people. I'm sure there are other normal people in your class just like you that feel the exact same way!
  11. by   FireStarterRN
    We had one young woman in our nursing class who had it all. She was from Sweden, and she was a natural blonde who was petite and looked like a model. She was also the best student in our class. She had a handsome young husband, no children yet, she was just about the most enviable person in the class.

    She never had a bit of trouble with anyone. For one thing, she didn't bother with any of the cliques, she was serious about her work, she had a detached courtesy that was charming, she never boasted but instead was always extremely modest. But she definately remained emotionally detached from any and all gossip, melodrama, or any other hormonal nonsense!

    My advise is to emulate her most excellent behavior now, and throughout your nursing career.
  12. by   toreyjane
    Quote from jlsRN
    We had one young woman in our nursing class who had it all. She was from Sweden, and she was a natural blonde who was petite and looked like a model. She was also the best student in our class. She had a handsome young husband, no children yet, she was just about the most enviable person in the class.

    She never had a bit of trouble with anyone. For one thing, she didn't bother with any of the cliques, she was serious about her work, she had a detached courtesy that was charming, she never boasted but instead was always extremely modest. But she definately remained emotionally detached from any and all gossip, melodrama, or any other hormonal nonsense!

    My advise is to emulate her most excellent behavior now, and throughout your nursing career.
    Thank you to everyone!

    jlsRN, that is such great advice...I like the "detached courtesy"...

    I just want to have a positive experience, work hard, get good grades, and just be a good person/student/nurse in general...I know how easy it is to get sucked into the drama, been there-done that. Women can be cruel!
    Hopefully, we will all acknowledge that we are in the same boat and will be helpful and supportive of each other.
  13. by   Daytonite
    Quote from toreyjane
    so, i guess my questions are, how did you rise above it and not get involved?
    don't participate in gossip of any kind. stick strictly to the subject of nursing when talking with classmates. don't get into discussions about which instructor is better than another or whether grades or tests are fair or unfair. listen to others who want to talk about these things, but don't offer any of your own opinions. just listen and don't comment. the minute you start to take a side you will be in some kind of trouble. learn to say "no" to things you know aren't right that someone might suggest or just act wishy-washy and say "i don't know if i can do that."
  14. by   vashtee
    If we have any of this sort of stuff going on in my class, I don't notice it... who has time? I have too much work to get done.

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