Feeling left out amidst efforts

MSNce1 · Aug 3, 2016

If you choose a reaction based on what others think of you life will be robbed of joy. It could be such student(s) are not angry at you rather embarrassed at not being prepared. Presentation will influence

your responses such as "From what I gather...." rather than commenting what your understanding from a reading assignment or prep work.

jeepee93 · Aug 3, 2016

Thanks! I also get some sarcastic cheers when I try to participate. Any tips on how to stop these?

joseyjo · Aug 3, 2016

Two things come to mind-

1. You are overthinking it and just think people are angry when they are not.

2. If people really are getting angry you may want to do some introspection on what you are actually contributing to the discussion. Are your questions closely related to the subject and on track with what is need to know in the class (and not something that was just answered during lecture)? Are your comments short, succinct, and interesting?

In our class of 50, there are probably 10 people who do the vast majority of talking during class. Some are annoying, and some are welcome additions. The annoying people ask questions that were just answered (come across as not listening or just want to hear their own voice), or ask questions totally off subject/too indepth/important only to their own lives (seem self centered and not thinking of others), or just have to comment on every topic describing how it applies to them/someone they know/something they did.

The ones that are NOT annoying ask thoughtful questions, give insight that help others understand the topic, and are short and succinct.

I tend to be one who talks a lot during class, so I ask myself a couple times each class period "Am I asking this question to benefit the class or myself?" If I am only asking/commenting to benefit myself then I either google the question, ask after class, or just keep the comment to myself :)

jeepee93 · Aug 3, 2016

Are you a student? If you are, you have some good perspective. If you are working, I hope someday I will be as good as you

pmabraham, BSN, RN · Aug 3, 2016

Hi guys. I need psychological help. I am a junior student nurse and I have this feeling of being left out when I try to answer and to participate in class discussion. Like, I get the feeling that they are angry at me of knowing stuff about the topics discussed. Did you also experience this? How can I get over this?

If you truly need psychological help, then you should be seeing a councelor or psychiatrist. If you just want advice from fellow students... ask yourself why is this bothering you? Think about having a polite and professional discussion with a handful of your classmates to either validate or invalidate your feelings.

Most of our classes, there's a handful of us that truly participate. Sometimes we will get professors that will ignore the regulars to pick on those who aren't participating; and even when that's not the case, it is good form to allow others to answer and just listen from time to time (my personal opinion).

joseyjo · Aug 3, 2016

Are you a student? If you are, you have some good perspective. If you are working, I hope someday I will be as good as you

If this was for me, thank you :) FYI: if you hit the "quote" button instead of reply it will quote the person you are responding to in your answer so we can all follow easier :)

I am a student, I will be a senior this year. Can you give us an example of a conversation where you get "sarcastic cheers"? If this is what I am imagining I wonder why the teacher doesn't stop it, that would be very rude!

When you are participating what is going on? For example, is it during lecture? Are you raising your hand and asking a question, giving an opinion, telling a story? Is this during small group discussions where you are working as a group? Is the teacher calling on you directly, or for anyone in the class to answer a question? Depending on the situation, you may just want to stop chiming in so much. I am a big talker and used to ask/answer questions numerous times throughout lecture, but I have found that when I stop thinking so much about what I am going to say and just listen I get a lot more out of the class.

emmjayy, BSN, RN · Aug 3, 2016

I like to talk in class but normally I just pitch in if the professor asks a question and everyone else is refusing to say anything.

jeepee93 · Aug 4, 2016

If this was for me, thank you :) FYI: if you hit the "quote" button instead of reply it will quote the person you are responding to in your answer so we can all follow easier :)
I am a student, I will be a senior this year. Can you give us an example of a conversation where you get "sarcastic cheers"? If this is what I am imagining I wonder why the teacher doesn't stop it, that would be very rude!
When you are participating what is going on? For example, is it during lecture? Are you raising your hand and asking a question, giving an opinion, telling a story? Is this during small group discussions where you are working as a group? Is the teacher calling on you directly, or for anyone in the class to answer a question? Depending on the situation, you may just want to stop chiming in so much. I am a big talker and used to ask/answer questions numerous times throughout lecture, but I have found that when I stop thinking so much about what I am going to say and just listen I get a lot more out of the class.

It's more like a cheer like a " woo!". Maybe I should not make others reaction determine my emotion. Thanks man. I really appreciate you for standing with me. I have been working out my new relationships with my new batchmates and I so heartwarming for someone to understand my situation.

Hoyasaxa96 · Aug 6, 2016

II would take a moment and consider if the questions you are asking are pertinant to topic being discussed and are you actively listening to discussion so as to avoid asking a question that maybe someone else already asked abt. thereby incurring snarky conments from your classmates. Also your Proffessor on the first day of class shld. set groundrules in terms of everyone resoecting each other when asking questions or contributing to discussions. This is often done through a learning contract, that everyone agrees upon on the first day of class.

NICUismylife, ADN, BSN, RN · Aug 6, 2016

Are you asking questions? Telling anecdotal stories? Answering a question posed?

I can tell you who get eye-rolls in my course. People who love to pipe up and tell us "one-time" stories. "One-time, in the ER, I had this patient...." or "When my aunt was diagnosed...." Please, do not share your personal anecdotal stories. No one is interested. In fact, in our first semester, our teachers actually told us that those were unacceptable. And if someone tried, they were quickly cut off.

Another eye-roll: The person who is not paying attention and asks the question that was just asked by someone else, or that has already been clearly answered by the lecture itself.

And finally: The know-it-all. The person who thinks they know as much as the professor and decides to interject paragraphs of their knowledge here and there.

If you are any of those, then probably wise to tone down your participating.

If you are simply answering basic questions, then I think you just need to grow thicker skin and learn to ignore it. For example, when the teacher asks "What would be the priority nursing diagnosis in this scenario" and you answer it in 1 sentence. No one should have a problem with that. If anything, many people are thankful that someone is answering it and taking the pressure off of possibly being randomly called on to answer it.

If it seems to be one particular person, I would personally approach them and talk to them about it. Sometimes people do not realize that they are upsetting someone, and it is often best to give them the benefit of the doubt and just say "hey, it seems like you are cheering a lot when I speak in class. I'm concerned that maybe something I'm doing is irritating you...." And just see what they have to say. I find that if you approach people kindly, and give them an "out" they will often stop the offensive behavior.

applesxoranges, BSN, RN · Aug 6, 2016

Make sure that it is the time and place for the discussion. Personal stories may not be acceptable in a lot of cases.