Divorce during NS?

  1. OK, I know first hand how stressful a really bad home life is. What I don't know is how stressful NS is during the last semesters of RN program. I'm trying to decide if another year like this will be harder on me, or trying to handle divorce preceedings along with NS. I bet I'd enjoy the NS experience a lot more if I didn't dread going home every night!
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   DesertRain
    If you can keep focused, one thing you can do is remind yourself that finishing nursing school will be a new beginning for you that you can look forward too. You are doing something amazing for yourself, and I cannot imagine how hard it must be. There will be brighter days, for sure so keep your chin up and stay focused.
  4. by   mytwosons
    Quote from jackson145
    OK, I know first hand how stressful a really bad home life is. What I don't know is how stressful NS is during the last semesters of RN program. I'm trying to decide if another year like this will be harder on me, or trying to handle divorce preceedings along with NS. I bet I'd enjoy the NS experience a lot more if I didn't dread going home every night!
    :icon_hug:
  5. by   Gauge
    I'm sorry to hear that. Are most of your problems in your marriage r/t you being in nursing school? I know since I started nursing school this past semester I have been in the same situation as you. She doesn't understand the time and effort I have to put into nursing school in order to get by, let alone excel at. I think the same thing that it would be easier to do if I was alone, but I hope it's all in my head and things will get better. Good luck to you.
  6. by   AprilRNhere
    Quote from Gauge
    I'm sorry to hear that. Are most of your problems in your marriage r/t you being in nursing school? I know since I started nursing school this past semester I have been in the same situation as you. She doesn't understand the time and effort I have to put into nursing school in order to get by, let alone excel at. I think the same thing that it would be easier to do if I was alone, but I hope it's all in my head and things will get better. Good luck to you.

    I don't know your situation, but I DO know....that 3 out of 5 of us in clinicals had major marital problems during nursing school. My marriage is SO much better now...as are the marriage of the other two I speak to from school. Unless it is unbearable I suggest waiting it out. NS is hard...it would be harder if you're trying to make it on your own.

    Whatever you decide...I hope it all turns around for the best for you.
  7. by   paacollins
    I know exactly what you are going thru and the best advice I can give you is to CAREFULLY weigh ALL your options before doing something drastic. I started nursing school in August of 06 and left my dh in December. I had to set up a new household and am not working d/t full time school and other obligations so I used my credit cards to buy what I absolutely had to have. We were already in debt but now we are head over heels in it. We have two house payments now and two sets of utility bills. Fortunately my elderly mom lives with me and has helped considerably but dh and I are still very broke all the time. We are on friendly terms but money has been a major problem for us. I moved to be closer to the hospitals I do clinicals in and will most likely be working in but now I have a 35 to 40 minute drive to take the girls to their school. It is a 15 minute drive from my old house, where he lives. Since he works so much overtime to cover all the credit card bills, I end up taking them to school and picking them up most days. Gas is outrageous and all that driving wears me out. He's wore out from working so much. lol

    We both also detest having to be away from the kids and we share custody. He has them on his days off and I have them on the days he works. Fortunately they have adjusted pretty well. My almost 10 year old loves having two houses but my almost 6 year old would just prefer mommy and daddy to live together again.

    I've considered selling the other house and moving back home for numerous reasons but I don't want to do that until I know that would be the right decision.

    My advice is to make sure you know what you are doing before you do it if at all possible. Nursing school is stressful enough without adding something major like a divorce or separation into it. But if you are miserable at home, then living away from home might get you some peace. You don't have to divorce immediately either you know. Perhaps just moving out for now would be a good way to start and see how things go from there on.

    My prayers are with you and if you need to talk feel free to message me. I'll be more than happy to listen or share my experiences. I find sometimes it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone.

    PS Wanted to add that my first semester of NS was by far the most difficult. I am finishing up my 4th semester and only have one left to go. Most everyone I have spoken to agrees the first is the hardest.
    Last edit by paacollins on Nov 29, '07 : Reason: Added something
  8. by   jackson145
    Quote from Gauge
    I'm sorry to hear that. Are most of your problems in your marriage r/t you being in nursing school? I know since I started nursing school this past semester I have been in the same situation as you. She doesn't understand the time and effort I have to put into nursing school in order to get by, let alone excel at. I think the same thing that it would be easier to do if I was alone, but I hope it's all in my head and things will get better. Good luck to you.
    Well, we've always had problems, but NS has made things a lot worse. Actually, it's not just me going to NS that's trouble. Long story, but here goes. I've wanted to go to NS for 10+ years and he always told me we couldn't afford it. Then he gets felony and has to quit career (he was a detective) and suddenly he decides to go to NS. Nevermind that I had always wanted to go and he wouldn't let me. When we had less money than ever, suddenly we could afford for him to go! I wasn't very pleased and immediately enrolled myself in school. I worked full-time during all but one of his semesters. Now it's my turn and he still can't find a job - people don't forget seeing a cop in uniform on the front page of local paper getting busted. What little money he gets for PRN work he spends on himself (his parents help with bills because he can't find job). Apparently, d/t my anger with him going to NS when he never let me, he's going to punish me by cutting me off. He said I wouldn't see one dime while I went to school. I can take my kids to my mom's during NS and at least i'll have some help.
  9. by   haleygirl
    Hope all goes well. Hugs!
  10. by   Gauge
    I'm sorry to hear that jackson, I had no idea it was that bad. I don't want to seem to be the negative one here, but if thats what he told you and how he has treated you perhaps it would be better if you left. Nursing school is hard enough as it is and if someone who is supposed to be your spouse refuses to give you any support and is downright mean to you maybe you should at least have a trial separation. If it is currently in that state it couldn't hurt.
  11. by   Lisa CCU RN
    How do you get a nursing license with a felony, Jackson 145?
  12. by   shoegalRN
    I don't know about a divorce, but I went through a very bad break up during the beginning of my 2nd semester while in nursing school. Said break up landed me in a mental hospital for 24 hours. Through it all, by the grace of God, I am passing ALL my classes and with a B/B+ average.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. I say keep your focus on the prize and keep moving forward.

    Good luck to you
    Last edit by shoegalRN on Nov 29, '07 : Reason: grammar
  13. by   jackson145
    Quote from CRNASOMEDAY25
    How do you get a nursing license with a felony, Jackson 145?
    You have to tell the state BON about the felony, but it's up to them if you are allowed to sit for the licensing exam. The let him take it and he passed, no problem. Of course, getting the license was obviously no guarantee that employers who remember his "troubles" would want to hire him.
  14. by   Cosper123
    Quote from nurse2be09
    By the grace of God, I am passing ALL my classes and with a B/B+ average.
    All respect to God and all...But I somehow doubt he's involved with this hell




    To the OP...sounds like your hubby is keeping you down in more ways than one. I'd normally suggest counseling in times such as this but he seems a little heavy on the manipulation and mental abuse.

    Whatever you decide to do, let it come from your own heart and not from any words in this thread. What I hope you do take from this thread is that you have support and should stay strong.

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