Complaints Already!!

[MySimplePlan]

And we haven't even met the instructor!!

There is one particularly loud person I've encountered a few times in the last 2 weeks as we prepare for the start of nursing school next week. Today she was telling anyone whp will listen how she is 'not going to put up with any instructor's crap' during clinical. When someone mentioned they had heard there was a lot of that during class and clinical, that's just the way nursing school can be sometimes, she replied that no one was going to disrespect her in any way and they could kick her out for all she cared. She stated she would 'fight them tooth and nail' over it.

I could only stare at her. Hasn't. Even. Started. Yet.

[Ginny516]

In Desiderata, something I live by it says "Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit." http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

It's one thing to defend yourself when wronged. It's another to be loud and agressive to start looking for a fight before there is even one. Surely this person is going to find what she's looking for and there's going to be drama. She's attracking it, she's inviting it, she's hungering for it.

Stay away from her.

Tweety...what beautiful, moving words..thank you for posting =)

[llg, PhD, RN]

In Desiderata, something I live by it says "Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit." http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

It's one thing to defend yourself when wronged. It's another to be loud and agressive to start looking for a fight before there is even one. Surely this person is going to find what she's looking for and there's going to be drama. She's attracking it, she's inviting it, she's hungering for it.

Stay away from her.

Great post, Tweety. There is a time, a place, and a right way to speak up for yourself and fight injustice, etc. There are also wrong ways to speak up for yourself and fight injustice.

Too many nurses (and people in general) wrongly assume that if you are are fighting injustice, your tactics don't matter -- anything goes. No, that's not correct. Some tactics are more effective than others. Some tactics hurt innocent bystanders and some do not. Some tactics only make the situation worse. etc. etc. etc. Yes, as nurses we need to be appropriately assertive -- but the type of aggressive bullying described by the OP is almost never the right way to enter a situation.

I like your posts, too, Daytonite, as I usually do. I just didn't quote them in this response. I just hope the students reading this thread can take them to heart and see the difference between being an problem-solving advocate and being a problem-causing bully.

Interpersonal skills, political skills, etc. are important.

llg

[amybethf]

I haven't even begun my journey into nursing school yet (start Fall 07) and I have a gameplan of my own which is to be receptive to learning and conduct myself in a professional manner in lecture, lab and clincal. I believe there are instructors who enjoy being nasty but u have to remember that they've been around the block quite a few times. They are trying to teach and impart their knowledge upon us and I am sure they can tell early on who is serious and who perhaps is not cut out for the profession. I mean we will be responsible for human lives, that is nothing to take lightly. It is their responsibility to teach and the student's responsibility to learn. If u get weeded out then one has to ask oneself if they really did their part. U get out of it what u put into it, it's that simple. Now, if u feel that u are being unfairly treated despite your hardest effort then u have to take it upon yourself to communicate to the instructor. I do not understand why a teacher would chastise a student in front of a class other than it being a power thing. But I think it is very important to not let anyone steamroll u. We all have integrity. No one can do anything that u do not allow them to. I may change my mind once I am in school but I have come way too far to let anyone snatch away my dream. I will do my best to remain positive even in the face of overwhelming stress as hard as it may be because this is what I want.

[Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN]

I agree with you, Daytonite. I don't believe this person will last long. I too wonder why she is spoiling for a fight when nothing has happened yet. To me it feels like an attention-getting behavior, like a small toddler squealing "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME" and it's nauseating.

There is nothing wrong with not putting up with abusive or disrespectful behavior. I don't see the point of announcing it before something has even happened. If a problem comes up you can quietly and respectfully deal with it. No sense dragging everyone into and making a huge fuss.

My very short experience in the medical field is this. People will talk to you in a not-so-nice way now and then. If you get offended every time someone does this you won't last long. In a learning environment you have to be humble and willing to accept what you are being taught. Your preceptors, instructors and professors know what they're talking about. They have the experience you don't have and they are trying to share it with you. You have to be open to listening to what they have to say. They have the power to pass or fail you. To my way of thinking, it makes more sense to try and get along with them the best way I can instead of turning them into my enemy.

As for the OP, just ignore it. The world is full of negativity. If you can learn to filter that stuff out now, your life will be happier in the long run.

[puggymae]

As a nursing faculty member for many years it has been my experience that there are at least one or two of those people in every nursing class. I agree with what others have said - STAY AWAY FROM THAT PERSON! I am sure that you are familiar with the saying about one bad apple...? Those attitudes affect everyone (including the teachers). You are known by the company you keep - don't get involved in that. BUT don't let any teacher disrespect you - you are paying them to teach you how to be a nurse - not give you a complex or make you a nervous wreck.

[melissasmom]

Hhhmmmmm! I see from another post that your going to be at HFCC- me too. I wonder if your talking about the same person I noticed. I will avoid her like the plaque. Just amazes me. Myself- I'm just grateful to finally be in they can deal all the crap they want its just 2 years of my life. What section are you going to be in?

[allthingsbright]

I have a friend who's non-stop mouth & attitude prob got her bounced right out of n. school a couple wks before grad.

I am all for boundries, and sticking up for yourself, but ya gotta know when to shut up, too. Being professional is not being silent--it is being respectful, firm, and responsible for your actions.

Sounds like this chick needs a little maturity! :)

[abbythetabby]

...my advice. . .just ignore her. be polite, but don't participate in her rantings or acknowledge her complaints. just stay away from her... this person will have a difficult time making progress as a nurse because of her negativity and will probably have difficulty all throughout her life and career because of this...

excellent points made by all. daytonite's strategy really is the best approach to dealing with people like this. i am the student liason for my class. while i have to listen to the rantings of our class drama queen, i never initiate any interaction with him. his negativity zaps my energy and i refuse to let that happen. this student is never prepared for class, yet he blames the instructors for that. we just did an orientation with the incoming class and i can already spot two students who are of the same ilk. they seem to think they are entitled to things without earning them.

we also have a clinical instructor with a reputation of being mean. while i don't think it's right to humiliate students, this only happened with students who were either not prepared for clinical or not caring for their patient(s).

i know people come to the boards to vent. we all have days where nursing school drives us insane. but, i honestly love school. most of my classmates and instructors rock. i wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world. keep your eye on the big picture and all the little things won't get you down.

[wildmountainchild]

By and large I agree with what everyone else is saying on this post. I want to clarify my earlier statements....I'll always be the one who calls people on thier crap, I can't help it, it's who I am.

But, I've been a teacher before as well (for anatomy and physiology labs), and I simply don't see being rude or caustic to my students as a good way to get them to learn. Do I get irked when students try to take all of my time because they obviously haven't done the reading? Of course, but I would never publicly humiliate them.....instead, I pull them aside and tell them if they want me to answer questions they have to do thier part.

I don't think being humiliated by your teachers should be some kind of gauntlet we have to endure as nursing students. We are being taught to be respectful to our patients. How can we truly operate in that spirit if we can't be respectful of each other?

The person that the OP is referring to probably is trouble, but I admire an attitude that demands repect. This particular student may be demanding something else entirely but you've gotta give some props for having the guts to stand up to people in power....it's scary!

One of my favorite quotes is: "You only have to pretend to be brave."

All else aside, this person is probably more bark than bite.

[MySimplePlan]

Melissasmom: it's so funny you have an idea who the 'vocal' student could be!! Now that I think about it, there was one other person who was pretty spunky too, so it could be either one of them that you're thinking about. Time will tell, won't it? (Oh - and I have selected Program #4)

Thanks to the other who provided some really good thoughts and suggestions about staying above the fray. Each and every one of you have so many intelligent, valuable things to impart. I am beyond grateful I have found this community. When I begin to doubt myself about what the next several weeks will bring, I come here to remind myself that I AM capable and I can do this. All of you inspire me and recharge my batteries. Thank you, thank you. thank you.

[luvmy3kids]

yes, i did. i chose the name daytonite because i used to live in dayton, ohio. then when i looked at it i realized that it could be broken into day to nite and i kind of liked that since i worked a lot of night shifts.

totally off topic but i was born in dayton, ohio!! i lived there until i was 2 and we moved to minnesota... just thought i'd add that very vital piece of info!!! hehe