Classmates and Stress

[RNSuzq1]

Hi All,

For months before I got into my RN Program I read many posts here from people complaining about all sorts of problems with their classmates. To be honest, I thought a lot of people were exaggerating - I figured "this is Nursing School" - could there really be people that caused problems in a class dealing with such serious subject matter?

I'm in a class of 40 (unbelievably tight space - no elbow room and barely enough breathing space). I ended up with the youngest in class (17) sitting right behind me (actually almost on top of me). At first I really admired her for doing this at such a young age. I'm 42 and have wanted this for 20 years - so I was very impressed that she made it this far so young. That all changed the first week. Most of the class shows up at least 30 minutes early to go through notes, work on material, discuss upcoming check-offs, etc. This girl shows up late almost daily after the lecture has begun - she comes in dragging her chair, dropping her book bag down, talking to the girl next to her about why she was late, on and on.. This constant disruption takes away valuable class time for those of us that arrived on time and it's driving us all crazy.

There are many in my situation - we have families and homes to care for, some have jobs and we manage to make breakfast for our kids, get them off to school, drive ourselves to school and make it there on time. This one person in the class with absolutely no responsibility can't seem to drag her behind in there on time. She's fallen dead asleep in class a couple of times - once I turned around, tapped her on the shoulder and told her to wake up because we were in class (I didn't want her to get in trouble) - she told me to "shut up" and went back to sleep. I'm old enough to be her Mom and let's just say that little comment was totally uncalled for.

Last week she mentioned that her grades weren't great - unfortunately "The Mother" in me spoke up and I nicely said if she showed up on time and didn't sleep through class she could do better. Well, not only was I told to "shut up" again - but now I'm hearing her making little comments about me during our lectures. One of our Instructors is probably late 70's, early 80's - she's been teaching at the school for a very long time and I'm hoping to learn everything I can from her (she's obviously a wealth of knowledge). I overheard this girl laughing about this Instructor - saying she was old and crazy and probably has alzheimers. It was such an ignorant comment about a wonderful lady - from someone who claims she wants to be a Nurse - made me nuts. This is total Junior High stuff and adding extra stress to all the stress I already have on me. I'm taking my classes "deadly serious" - as are most in the class and many have said that she's just not mentally mature enough for the unbelievable responsibility of a Nurse.

I would move my seat in a minute, but there aren't any open seats and I guarantee, nobody would change places with me. I've spent a small fortune and tons of time getting to this point in my life and my entire future is riding on this. Like I said, I'm 42, married 20 years with 3 children and to have some immature child in class telling me to "shut up" after I tried to help her is more than I can take...

Sorry for the long post - it's just gotten on my last nerve - I'm just too old to be back on the playground. I overheard a few more comments about me today, totally let it get under my skin and I wasn't able to get any studying done tonight. Any suggestions on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks...

[hoppermom3]

I am an "older" student and was dreading being in class with a bunch of "kids." Much to my surprise, the younger students in our class are, for the most part, very mature and taking this very seriously. The problems in our classroom come from a group of students who are all in their 30's. These women show less maturity than my 12 year old daughter does.

I agree that you have the right to a non-hostile learning environment. As I study scripture and spend time in prayer, I hope to handle the problems in our room in a way that draws the class together instead of dividing.

[JVanRN]

amen to the above post...i was one of the "younger" students in program also and the ones that seemed to cause the most problems were some of the older ones...so many would try to be overly friendly with the instructors because they were the same age and so on or would whine about there situation (five kids...single mom...so on and so forth) in order to garner sympathy....i NOT saying this of all older students...most of them i had tremendous respect for... and this 17 y/o sounds like a major pain...i just got sick of being told that It must be sooo easy for me because I had no resposibility...when i did have responsibility (lived on my own...worked full time to pay for bills and school....)sorry i'm gonna stop now....I'm just so glad nursing school is done with!!! to much drama....anyway i hope you can deal with this girl...i would confront her...she sounds really obnoxious....

jen

[Energizer Bunny]

Advice to ignore is fine, but no one should have to make a concerted effort to ignore a troublemaker. I am not one that can ignore the idocies of someone else either....now when it is directly affecting me and how I am doing in the class. Good luck to you!

[tabbeycatt]

I'd remind her "I paid to hear the lecture and to learn, not to hear you snore or make fun of the instructor, or any other juvenile behavior you're insisting on. Telling people to shut up is just going to ensure that you won't be respected, until you act like you deserve to be respected."

^WELL SAID!

I don't think I could ignore this either. At least not for very long. Especially if you're not able to get any studying done and so forth. I think I would go to your instructor or dean of the program. Chances are you are not the only one feeling this way. Maybe you could talk to some of your classmates and see if they would be willing to talk to the dean also. You are there for the right reasons and if she is hendering your studies/grade/FUTURE as a nurse.... then don't let her get the best of you!

[kahumai, RN]

Cities have a "disturbing the peace" law; maybe your school has a "disturbing the class" rule?? :chuckle I'm serious though...she has to be breaking some kind of school rule from the handbook about disrupting class, disrespecting students, and consistently arriving late. I would just hope that she also breaks the "must pass the class" rule and fails out, which doesn't sound like it's so far away. Teachers aren't blind, either, and as much as we like to think that they have no clue, they notice when people are rude, immature, and disruptive. Kudos to you for going back to school AND having to put up with this little monster on top of it. I would just talk to the teacher, and just maintain your own grades. Good luck to you!!!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I usually agree with you, Tweetie, but the 17 year olds I know who've made it to college don't act like this. :)

I think she is not nearly ready for college, and I doubt she's in your class for very long. I'd talk to one of the instructors (not the older lady) about it; they need to be aware that she is going to have difficulties caring for seniors (I wouldn't want her working with MY parents!).

True enough. My comment was mainly tongue in cheek. I was a very polite and punctual 17 year old myself and it's not fair to stereotype. She's immature, rude and crude. The point being however, to get her to see that she is and try to communicate this to her reasonably is a total waste of time.

[Eilana]

BSNino5: I would just talk to the teacher, and just maintain your own grades.

I agree. Teachers have the authority to speak to a student when she / he is disturbing the class. I think that by going to the teacher, you are at least letting the teacher know that there *is* a problem and that you are uncomfortable with the situation.

Also, as a "younger" student myself, I believe that most students who are in nursing do put in the dedication to succeed. We all have our personal / social / academic problems. We do shoulder a lot of responsibilities whether they are apparent or not. In the end, I think that if someone who wants to graduate, will put in the effort and those don't ... well ....