Advice on best time to have a baby (please!)

[secondtimer14]

I'm a pre-nursing student/career changer. I'm hoping to get into an ABSN program, with the goal of working a few years as a hospital nurse (hopefully L&D), and eventually going into midwifery. We're also hoping to have one last baby (we have two kids already). Currently tying decide if I we should try to have a baby now (baby would be 1 year old when I start an ABSN program), or shortly after I start work as a RN.

My questions are - which is more intense/time-consuming: nursing school or working full-time? I assume the hospital shifts are very intense and exhausting, but for those who work three 12s, do you "take work home with you"/work beyond the 36 hours, or is the rest of your week actually free? And if school is more intense than work, is it still doable with young kids?

FWIW, all else being equal, we'd rather have the last baby now for a host of personal/financial/health reasons. Nursing is my dream career, and I hate the idea of being distracted by pregnancy/taking a maternity leave soon after finally landing a RN job. Plus I have two kids already, so I'll being juggling school and motherhood regardless (what's one more to add to the chaos BUT I could much use the perspective of people who have actually been to nursing school and worked hospital shifts (read: I don't know what I'm talking about!)

I know this is a highly personal decision; I just really need opinions from people who have been there. Thank you!

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

Have to add, one of my classmates had 3 kids under 3 (one set of twins in there) and was pregnant during nursing school. Also worked FT as EKG tech. I have no idea how she did it. 5 years later, she now has 6 kids and works FT. With support, it is not as difficult. I am blessed with a very supportive husband. We have two boys who are now 13 and 16 and both have Type 1 diabetes as well as some other issues (ADHD, etc). He is my partner in every sense of the word.

[Regina_Phalange, BSN]

I see no reason to hold off having a baby before you start nursing school. My friend had her baby during her first semester at nursing school and just graduated a few months ago. She did it, you can too! I start nursing school in January and have a 1 year old and 5 year old but I'm really not worried about it. I know my husband is very supportive and will make sure to distract the kids for me when needed. If you have a supportive family, I say go for it!

[Soxchica]

Everyone's different, but work is infinitely easier than school for me. I'd do your RN, get pregnant, have the baby in your first year of work so you have insurance. You'll get a few years experience then get your masters when baby is preschool age.

It all looks good on paper- but we're all different, and things don't always go as planned on paper. Good luck whatever you choose!

[LibertarianNurse]

What a conundrum. I went to nursing school with kids aged 8 months, 2yrs old, and 5 yrs old. I had a friend in nursing school who got pregnant in the winter term of the last year. Most of my classmates did not have kids yet, but I was a little older and changing careers as well. My kids now (9yrs, 10yrs, and 13yrs) remember almost nothing about me being in school. My oldest remembers a little bit, but she does not even remember the fact that I was gone a lot, that I was stressed, and tired. So there are pros and cons to both waiting and having a child, I think. Ultimately, its your choice and you have to feel out your body too, and figure that in with your age. Good luck! Baby fever may not be able to wait, but schooling can always happen.

[bitter_betsy, BSN]

I am not a nurse yet... just a mom who made a choice. I was a database programmer and quit when my daughter was 2. She needed me and it was her or my career. Once I got out - I couldn't get back in. When she went to high school - I finished my IT degree. Now that she's in college - I realized I really don't want to be in IT - so I'm going back to school to be a nurse. I have a lot of regrets - but not a single one of them is giving up what I wanted to raise that sweet girl. She's now an adult in college and can care for herself. I can torture myself in school, in clinicals, with night shifts... my cats will forgive me, still sleep on my head and will adjust (and so will the boyfriend if he wants to stay!!).