Advice & Prayer to finish school

  1. I am a senior nontraditional nursing student and I am scheduled to graduate summer 2007. I don't know how I am going to make it - my mother died of a brain aneurysm 21 days ago. She helped and encouraged me so much to get through school. She watched my children for me to go to school - She was my biggest supporter and my friend. I want to finish and be the nurse she always believed in me that I could be - but how do I concentrate? I feel like I am in such a whirlwind that I can't focus. Has anyone else been through something like this and if so, what helped you deal with your grief and be able to finish school? Thanks for listening.
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   CHATSDALE
    these are rough times...really there isn't much tthat can be said...
    try and dedicate your career toher ...keep her memory alive in your children

    sometime day to day is the only answer

    my condolences..i have been there and i know what you are going through
  4. by   Lori RN_09_2b
    Susan, I'm SOOO sorry for the loss of your mother and your support system. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, and I have no advice other than what's already been said--to keep going in her memory.

    Also, are you close to people in your program? Lean on them to encourage you through this time. Talk to your professors--while they can't make things better, they will probably appreciate knowing what you're going through.

    Most of all, know that you're in my prayers, and I'm sure the prayers of many others. I know you can do this or you wouldn't have gotten this far. Your mother will be proud to be looking over you come graduation day!
  5. by   RNinJune2007
    I am so sorry for what you have gone through the last month or so, and for the loss of your mother. I can tell she was a wonderful, encouraging woman, and for that, she will always be remembered!

    School is difficult regardless, and with this on top of school alone, it will not be easy. But you CAN do it!! Do it for yourself, your mother, your children.
    If that means you need to take a semester off to regain your thoughts, life and get things in order, then do that. But don't take the easy way out.

    Remember the fun times, always think of her encouraging words when life or school (or whatever!) is getting you down, and let those words encourage you like they did earlier in life, and nursing school .

    I am praying for you and your family, and this difficult time you are going through. I know you can finish this journey of nursing school... you DO have the strength.
  6. by   kr74079
    I have not been where you are however, I believe things happen in life for a reason. Going back to school later in life is really hard but your mom would want you to finish what you started. Our struggles/challenges make us stronger. Also life's experiences help make us better nurses and who knows someday you will be able to help someone else through difficult times because of how you SURVIVED !!
    I truly extend my sympathy and I pray that God will allow just the right support person to help you or step up to the plate so you can finish school. Of course not taking your mom's place but being there for you and your children. God Bless and all the best is wished for you.
  7. by   SoulShine75
    Quote from RNinJune2007
    I am so sorry for what you have gone through the last month or so, and for the loss of your mother. I can tell she was a wonderful, encouraging woman, and for that, she will always be remembered!

    School is difficult regardless, and with this on top of school alone, it will not be easy. But you CAN do it!! Do it for yourself, your mother, your children.
    If that means you need to take a semester off to regain your thoughts, life and get things in order, then do that. But don't take the easy way out.

    Remember the fun times, always think of her encouraging words when life or school (or whatever!) is getting you down, and let those words encourage you like they did earlier in life, and nursing school .

    I am praying for you and your family, and this difficult time you are going through. I know you can finish this journey of nursing school... you DO have the strength.
    Good post
  8. by   moongirl
    believe that your mother is still there guiding you. trust in the universe and you will be shown the way, and given the strength resources you need to go on.
    I am so sorry for your loss
  9. by   WDWpixieRN
    My mom passed away VERY unexpectedly in March of this year; she had just turned 69 and hadn't had a health issue her entire life....she lived alone and went to sleep with the TV on and never woke up...my brothers couldn't handle the thought of an autopsy, so I have been left with lots of questions about "why".....let's add the loss of a 15-year friendship last January due to a situation I had no control over, the graduation from high school of my "baby boy", his leaving for college, my leaving a 6-year job position that paid very well (and lots of great friends), and starting my first semester of nursing school this past August....

    I had an optometrist tell me she wouldn't get near me to try fitting contacts for at least 18 months with stress like that....

    There are days still that I'm not sure I can survive my mom's passing....I find if I allow myself to think too deeply about it, I just feel ill....and I don't know that I will ever really believe this has happened...but I have gone on....I couldn't imagine myself returning to work after being gone for 5 weeks dealing with her affairs....but I found it actually somewhat comforting and allowed for some sense of "normalcy"....things had been wrapped up, so there really was nothing else to keep me from going back to work....but everyone handles things differently....a young gal I worked with also lost her 43 year-old husband to an aneurysm while I was off...she returned back to work shortly after I did, feeling that she had done all she could and needed to move on and that her young boys needed that, too....I saw her a few weeks ago and she's managing pretty well....

    I would say only you can decide your best course of action....I believe, as others have written, that you will need to finish this in your mom's memory and out of respect for her....however, whether you need a semester off to get your head straight is only something you can know....that would not be disrespectful if you feel you need the time....if you can't concentrate -- God knows I couldn't for over a month or more (my kids thought I had lost my mind) -- then take some time so you can focus when you're ready and not add further frustration to yourself right now....

    I so empathize with what you're going through and offer my sincere sympathies....
    Last edit by WDWpixieRN on Dec 30, '06
  10. by   GPatty
    Susan,
    I really cannot express to you the understanding I feel for your situation.
    My Mom has gone thru cancer discovery, surgery, radiation, HHNK discovery and now dementia that has pushed her 10 years into the future (as far as her dementia level goes...), and her moviong in with me.

    I ended up failing this semester by 5 points, and according to my particular program, I am now disqualified for 3 years (then I may re-apply). I was supposed to graduate this coming May, after 4 years.
    I am going to try a community college ASN program after the first of the year.

    Now, you.... DO NOT give up! You can do this...Life throws hurdles at you from every angle and it always will, but have faith, and pray. Pray alot and hard. Confide in your friends, they will understand.

    God bless, and hang in there. You will make it. {{{HUGS}}}
  11. by   StudentSusan
    Thank you all so much for sharing your support. I really needed to get out what I have been feeling. I am still so overwhelmed and it all seems unreal at times. I have no choice but to finish school - my finances will not allow for me to take a semester off and I have two beautiful & sweet children to take care of. My heart hurts right now and I wake up every day feeling like I have been beat up. My mother believed in me, even during the times I doubted myself - and I am really hanging on to that right now. I know this isn't a prayer board, but if you guys would keep me in your prayers - I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much for caring.

    Susan
  12. by   TheCommuter
    I can't really offer any advice at this time.

    However, I will say a silent prayer for you and your children. Let's all pray that you complete school this coming summer and realize your dreams of becoming a nurse. With strength and persistence you will overcome these sorrowful, challenging times.
  13. by   WDWpixieRN
    I heard so many words of "wisdom" after losing my mother....one to keep in mind is that you will never get over missing her...the pain lessons slightly, but there will forever be a part of you that is missing....there are some great books on the subject, but it sounds like you won't have much time before classes resume....bottom line: everything you are feeling, thinking, considering, worrying about -- is normal....it's going to be a crazy time for awhile and just roll with it...don't fight it; it just is what it is....and don't let ANYONE tell you what's normal as you go through your grieving....it was only after about 6 months that I was able to talk about it without constantly tearing up...

    The second piece of wisdom was from an older gentleman who lives across the street....he said that after losing his mother, there were days where he just barely tied his shoes and continued to put one foot in front of the other....and that was often the best he could accomplish some days. Did I ever understand those words....

    You will be in my prayers...please take care....
  14. by   tntnkna
    I have been lurking on these boards a long time, but this is my first post. I just had to jump in on this one. My heart hurts for you. I, too, lost my mom this last year..2006. (Dad died in 1997) She had a massive stroke in January. I am the primary caregiver and POA. With rehab and appts, and just loving care, I was also doing my prereqs. Then, in August, after all that recovery and hard work, she had another one that left her in a coma until she died a few days later. This was exactly 1 week before fall semester with Micro and A&P II. (I also have 2 kids, but they are both school age, which helps.)
    I didn't think I would be able to concentrate. (2 lab classes) I was going to drop my classes, at least microbiology, but with my sister's encouragement and mom in my heart, I didn't. I did let my instructors know that I may not be up to par, but I was doing my best. It was VERY HARD for me to CONCENTRATE really for the whole semester. I have a little anxiety/ocd kind of thing that kicks in when I get stressed anyway. I ended up getting B's in both classes, which really messes up my 4.0 GPA, but I was just happy to have done it.
    Looking back, I needed school to distract me from all the other stuff going on in my life with mom's affairs and my own grief. I am going to be thinking of my mom so much with all we do in nursing school. I have already had much more to contribute in my classes. It will all remind me of her and what we've gone through. When I graduate, I will be so sad that she doesn't see me graduate. She, too, was my encouragement and motivation for nursing school. What a shame they won't see us graduate. You are so much closer though than I am. Bless your heart! With tear filled eyes for you, me and other posters, God bless you!
    ~tammy~
    P.S. After all that, I guess I didn't really have any advice to offer, just an experience to share. I know that It helped me to read of others going through losses and how they coped. Also, you are so close to being finished with school. You just hang in there and pass. Remember C=RN Don't push yourself to be perfect. I had to accept some grades throughout the semester that I was otherwise ashamed of and had never had before, but I got B's and it wasn't so bad. It was a good semester. You may surprise yourself at what you can do. You will carry your mom with you in your heart the whole way. Good luck with the child care issues. I know that is no simple issue either.
    OH my gosh! what a long post....bet your all glad I don't post often.

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