Advice & Prayer to finish school

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I am a senior nontraditional nursing student and I am scheduled to graduate summer 2007. I don't know how I am going to make it - my mother died of a brain aneurysm 21 days ago. She helped and encouraged me so much to get through school. She watched my children for me to go to school - She was my biggest supporter and my friend. I want to finish and be the nurse she always believed in me that I could be - but how do I concentrate? I feel like I am in such a whirlwind that I can't focus. Has anyone else been through something like this and if so, what helped you deal with your grief and be able to finish school? Thanks for listening.

I have been lurking on these boards a long time, but this is my first post. I just had to jump in on this one. My heart hurts for you. I, too, lost my mom this last year..2006. (Dad died in 1997) She had a massive stroke in January. I am the primary caregiver and POA. With rehab and appts, and just loving care, I was also doing my prereqs. Then, in August, after all that recovery and hard work, she had another one that left her in a coma until she died a few days later. This was exactly 1 week before fall semester with Micro and A&P II. (I also have 2 kids, but they are both school age, which helps.)

I didn't think I would be able to concentrate. (2 lab classes) I was going to drop my classes, at least microbiology, but with my sister's encouragement and mom in my heart, I didn't. I did let my instructors know that I may not be up to par, but I was doing my best. It was VERY HARD for me to CONCENTRATE really for the whole semester. I have a little anxiety/ocd kind of thing that kicks in when I get stressed anyway. I ended up getting B's in both classes, which really messes up my 4.0 GPA, but I was just happy to have done it.

Looking back, I needed school to distract me from all the other stuff going on in my life with mom's affairs and my own grief. I am going to be thinking of my mom so much with all we do in nursing school. I have already had much more to contribute in my classes. It will all remind me of her and what we've gone through. When I graduate, I will be so sad that she doesn't see me graduate. She, too, was my encouragement and motivation for nursing school. What a shame they won't see us graduate. You are so much closer though than I am. Bless your heart! With tear filled eyes for you, me and other posters, God bless you!

~tammy~

P.S. After all that, I guess I didn't really have any advice to offer, just an experience to share. I know that It helped me to read of others going through losses and how they coped. Also, you are so close to being finished with school. You just hang in there and pass. Remember C=RN Don't push yourself to be perfect. I had to accept some grades throughout the semester that I was otherwise ashamed of and had never had before, but I got B's and it wasn't so bad. It was a good semester. You may surprise yourself at what you can do. You will carry your mom with you in your heart the whole way. Good luck with the child care issues. I know that is no simple issue either.

OH my gosh! what a long post....bet your all glad I don't post often. ;)

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Specializes in hospice.

Susan,I think you have answered your own question..It will be rough but you know what your mother wanted you to be..If she were here she would urge you continue; you know that..She was with you last semester and will be with you this semester..take every test 'for her', and you'll do fine...

Paul

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Specializes in hospice.

God bless you too Tammy

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StudentSusan I believe that you can do this. And you have to constanty pray that GOD gives you the strength that you need. Remember he did not bring you this far to leave you. He can be your mother, father, and best friend. Just put your faith in him and he will do the rest.

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Specializes in Operating Room.
I am a senior nontraditional nursing student and I am scheduled to graduate summer 2007. I don't know how I am going to make it - my mother died of a brain aneurysm 21 days ago. She helped and encouraged me so much to get through school. She watched my children for me to go to school - She was my biggest supporter and my friend. I want to finish and be the nurse she always believed in me that I could be - but how do I concentrate? I feel like I am in such a whirlwind that I can't focus. Has anyone else been through something like this and if so, what helped you deal with your grief and be able to finish school? Thanks for listening.

You WILL make it and finish school!! You are one of the smartest and strongest women I know. She will always believe in you and because of that YOU believe in YOU!!! You are going to be a wonderful nurse.:nurse:

The whirlwind will settle, but it will take time. There is no way of telling how long it will take. Every one of us deals with grief differently. It may take a little while to be able to concentrate on your studies, but YOU CAN DO IT!! Your mom has built such a great foundation for you and eventually you will be able to stand on it with confidence.

I love you, Girl!!!

Jen

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Specializes in geriatric, hospice, med/surg.

I can understand how dark your world must seem right now. I would recommend grief counseling ( hope that isn't against TOS) not a doc here, not trying to dispense med advice, so please, this is not intended as such.

But all hospices offer community support encompassing the grief process in loss of human as well as pet family members. If it is too much of a burden to finish school, don't push yourself into a nervous breakdown over it. Your mom would be proud of you no matter what you do. You can always go back and finish it later after you've had time to work thru those five stages of grief. And to delay experiencing them due to the time consuming quantitively in nursing school might have unforeseen negative aspects in your life on down the road, even after graduation. Just something to consider. Not that you need any more on your plate at this time. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs your way and of course prayers a plenty. We are here for you. Get some grief counseling at least, if not just plain ol' talk therapy for YOU and your stress. Good luck in school and with your family.

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Specializes in cardiac/education.

Susan,

I am very sorry for your loss.

I lost my father to cancer last May, in the middle of my oncology clinicals. First semester I was told he had cancer and only had 6 months to live WITH treatment, second semester I saw him through all the chemo and side effects, third semester he died. It was so hard on me, it was almost surreal at the time. I would sit by his bedside and leave only for school or to sleep. There are so many things now in the hospital setting that remind me of him and his days of sickness/suffering. I freaked out, a week before he died, couldn't take anymore, dropped classes to take an incomplete. 3 days later, I walked back in and retracted that request to continue on in school. I really don't know what I was doing, mostly just fumbling thru life, but I knew that my father would want me to finish.

I am glad I stayed in now. Fourth semester now, final one! It gave me something else to focus. When it first happens you are in shock. You feel like a real trooper how well you are taking it! Fast forward, couple of months and you can't keep anything together, least of all your mental state, and you don't know why. You just can't figure it out. But you were doing so good!!?? Grief comes and goes in waves but not a day goes by where I don't think of my Dad. I know he'd be telling me "It's all gonna be OK" or "Before you know it you will be an RN". He always used to say that.

I was lucky in a sense. I had a time frame for my father's death. Sounds like your mother died suddenly. Grief is hard either way. I think if you did drop classes you would end up just more depressed and grief stricken. Atleast I know that would have been the case for me.

May God Bless you and keep you during this difficult time. I am truly sorry for your loss. "If he brings you to it, he will bring you through it".:icon_hug: :flowersfo

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When it first happens you are in shock. You feel like a real trooper how well you are taking it! Fast forward, couple of months and you can't keep anything together, least of all your mental state, and you don't know why. You just can't figure it out. But you were doing so good!!?? Grief comes and goes in waves but not a day goes by where I don't think of my Dad. I know he'd be telling me "It's all gonna be OK" or "Before you know it you will be an RN". He always used to say that.

Wow Thrashej, you got that exactly correct. You can kind of go on "auto pilot" at first. It's those later months that sneak up and throw you off.But I also agree that school is such a good distraction/motivator. However, it can bring back memories. I work at the same hospital my mom spent some of her time in, too. (and clinicals will be here) (as well as the Medicare wing of extended care) Very hard the first time you go back. My mind sometimes wanders and puts me right back to last year wth mom.

I am so sorry Thrashej and Susan that you both had to go through that.

Thank you Greenmiler.

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I have all the sympathy in the world for you. I was taking my prereq's and my sister passed away unexpectedly, due to a doctors error. I felt I couldn't go on! I took off of school for a while thinking medicine and all that it stood for was horrible. Then, one day I ran into my doctor and she asked me about school. I told her I quit. She told me to go on in the hope of preventing one more tragedy like my sisters. This and the memory of my sister had keeped my moving forward.

All my prayers and hopes are with you. Please keep going in the memory of your mother. She would be so proud!:balloons:

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