A vent and requesting advice on a classmate.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I am back in school for my master's, and a peer is driving me crazy with her need for hand-holding and lack of independence. We have a presentation to do, and we spent two hours together outlining it and splitting up the work. She needed CONSTANT redirection to stay focused. In the middle of a sentence, she would stop and say, "Oh, I have to give this to so-and-so...be right back!" She needs hand-holding to finish her part. "I'm stuck." "I need you to look this over because I'm not sure..."

I'm not a doctor, but I think she may have attention/focusing problems. Her anxiety about deadlines is also a problem. To help her with the anxiety, we created mini deadlines so that certain things would be done at certain times to keep the work going. I have met all the deadlines, but she sometimes rides me to get them done prior to the deadline we agreed upon. I work long hours, and I am sick of doing things after working for 12.5 hours just to alleviate her anxiety, when, in reality WE ARE FINE with our deadlines.

Anything more I can do besides gently refocusing her and sticking to the mini deadlines? She's really starting to aggravate me, and I'm finding it more and more difficult to put on my gentle face when working with her.

[caliotter3]

I would go out of my way to avoid working with her in the future.

[jaimeca]

I don't have any advice to offer you. But I do want to comment that the approach and tools you have put in place so far seem very well thought out, and the role you have been forced into with this colleague is a great learning experience! This kind of leadership to keep someone on track might be a position you are in future.... For example what if you are a research project manager or lead investigator with student research assistants?? Anyways, you seem to be creative and good w leadership, you'll probably come up with something else that can help with the problem she's having!!!! Keep up the good work :)

[elijahvegas, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

Address it. Then address it less gently the next time around. And continue to be less and less accomodating until your responses become something to the effect of " we agreed upon a deadline, and I will meet that deadline. Please make sure your work is done by the deadline"

I dont care what anyone says passive aggression is always a better alternative to a black eye or a hole in the wall lol

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies. I won't work with her again, if I can avoid it. It's really mentally draining. I am beginning to ignore her anxiety associated with the deadlines. Our mini deadlines are working to keep our project on track, and there is no need for me to do it faster, often while I'm exhausted from working a shift. As for the hand-holding, it's the curse of group work...you sometimes have to rescue the project from a group member who is not up to the it.