Why are nurses disrespected so much?

NunNurseCat · Sep 19, 2017

OP, someone taught me years ago to take any situation or conversation and put your thoughts through a little filter before speaking or acting:

Ask yourself: "Is what I will say, or do, going to add positively to the situation or conversation? Does it really matter?"

If not, then the odds are you don't need to say it or do it.

In my opinion restraint is a sign of maturity, though let's not forget maturity is not always functions of age. It's up to US to do better.

Some people dwell on the negative and tear things down; they become negative people, and are often not pleased in being such.

Some well meaning people are quick to attack, or rush to defend a useless or trivial argument; they become instigators.

Some people observe, listen, choose words carefully, and pursue actions that reflect sound judgment; they are the savvy individuals.

Personally, I want to be savvy. But sometimes we are all three of the above, huh? We're only human. But it IS up to us to identify and reign in our bad habits and traits.

You are at the start of a career, and what you are experiencing is a chance to choose what type of person you want to be when facing these challenges. You can rise above that nonsense, or become that nonsense. It's up to you, fight to be strong!

Best wishes! :)

AvaRose · Sep 19, 2017

Nurse Beth said:
Hang in there. Give us an update once you've graduated and worked a year. You are going to meet many wonderful people.

Very true. I just about hit the year mark (I had a bit of time between my first nursing job and this one). At my hospital I even made friends with the Doctor who seemed to hate everyone and especially women. He stops and chats with me if I come to chart while he is dictating and everything. I have a great time asking the doctors about pathophysiology if I get a patient with a diagnosis that is new to me or there are lab results that are odd looking.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Sep 19, 2017

OP, as you said yourself, you are new to nursing. You also seem to feel sufficiently invested in the pursuit of a nursing career not to abandon it lightly. Makes sense to me. Some of the responses to your post do indeed seem defensive, but the suggestion to get out of nursing is worth serious consideration. Under the best possible conditions, with reasonable assignments, supportive administrators and peers, and even with mostly polite and appreciative patients, this work is very hard, and sometimes brutal. It truly ain't for everybody, and it would be pretty miserable to realize years from now that you'd taken a wrong path. Not a total waste, necessarily--heck, I learned things working at McDonalds that I still use.

But I'm going to go on the assumption that you may indeed have it in you to be a fine nurse and are just feeling daunted by the challenges before you. That's natural--in fact, I'm only half joking when I say if you get through nursing school without feeling like quitting, you haven't gotten your tuition's worth. And I think we've all pretty much been there. And therein, I modestly suggest, is the source of much of the defensiveness in some of the replies you've seen. To those of us who last in this work, it truly isn't just a job. Or a career. Or even just a profession. Personally, I've spent the past several months fighting hard to get back into my role as a bedside nurse, and it has made me poignantly aware of what this work means to me. (When we're "touchy" about our title, that's one of the ways we demand the respect we've earned, and if you earn that title, I hope you'll do the same.)

Is there bullying in nursing? Do nurses eat their you? I was talking to one of my friends, the other morning, about how scary I thought she was when I was a newbie. Can't quote her word for word,but the gist of her reply was that scaring newbies was part of her job, and we both laughed. I take a different tack in my approach to newbs, because it's more my nature, but I don't devalue hers. Nibbling our young a little to toughen them up is a way of helping them, too.

I'm a guy. It affects my view of nursing. It affects how nursing treats me. But a thing I've noticed, and very much value, about the women in nursing is that they are strong, smart, independent, and assertive. Or, as our culture is still all-too-prone to say: ******.

In the course of becoming a competent nurse, I was helped, encouraged, taught, pushed, prodded, and (figuratively) spanked by women (and men) very like those who post on here. I owe them more than I can say. In my recent effort to get back on the right side of the bedrails, I've had help, support, encouragement, and prayer from my peers and my supervisors and been given every chance to do what none of us was sure I could. People I work for assured me that if I couldn't handle the physical challenges of bedside nursing, there were other jobs that wouldn't be so taxing. It's pretty awesome to have assurance of being able to earn a living--and contribute to the team--even if it isn't at the bedside, but I said then and still do that my eyes are on the prize, and the prize is bedside nursing. It's what I do, and to a very large degree, it's what I am.

There are two qualities that are utterly necessary to succeed as a nurse. The first, I believe, is humility. This isn't a field for big egos. We wipe peoples' butts. I can say from my own experience that wiping someone else's butt is at least 14x less humiliating that having someone else wipe yours, and I'm not remotely saying that's anywhere near all we do, but it's an important task, and if you find it degrading, you're in the wrong field.

The other necessity goes hand-in-hand with humility: honest self-appraisal. A new nurse will be told often that he or she is doing "great" or "fine" or "well." It's so nice to hear, but it doesn't help you nearly as much as you might hope. If you're unlucky, or maybe careless or inept, you may also hear that you're "hopeless" or "stupid." Neither the good feedback nor the bad is likely to be entirely true. If you graduate nursing school and pass NCLEX, you have proof in hand that you aren't stupid. Might not always translate to common sense, but it takes a healthy dose of that to get a nursing license, too. And, frankly, even the best first-year nurses are "great" in terms of first year nurses. I've seen some people who've been pretty impressive right out of the gate, but I've also watched them get stronger as they've gained experience. Not every experienced nurse is great, but every great nurse is experienced.

I've blathered here at some length. I do that. Only you can figure out if this is really something you want to do, and only time will tell whether you have the ability to do it. But you don't actually need a "gift" or a "calling" to be a good nurse. You just have to work hard at it and have an open mind. If you do decide to take this road, for the sake of you patients, for the sake of your colleagues, and most of all for your own sake, please do try to be worthy of it.

austrianalps · Sep 22, 2017

So true. I found that most disrespect I've received from patients, families or co workers was simply due to their situation. Once we had a neutral person step in and help, case management or social services involved, a lot of that cleared up and we could all get along again. I also once received a written apology from a dr that didn't "want to be bothered" with phone calls with individual patient problems/concerns.

It's ok to speak up kindly and ask questions. I try to be the person you would want to work with. It doesn't always work, but I will try harder next time.

I've been in 3 hospitals in the past 5 years and every situation has taught me something valueable. It's not always been easy or pretty. But which job is? I've flipped burgers at McDonald's and stocked shelves at Tuesday morning. It all has its problems.

I feel the profession is very well respected and am proud to be a nurse.

Captain Jack · Sep 22, 2017

So very true.

RegularNurse · Sep 23, 2017

I see OP's point, but if you are working with the general public, be prepared to be disrespected.

lindahartford · Sep 24, 2017

The American Nurses Association is very proud that Nurses are THE most respected professionals in America. This has been so for many years.

When you respect yourself and others, respect will come back to you.

I retired after 53 years of nursing. In my experience, the loudest, crankiest or rudest patients are actually just plain scared. Many of them scared almost to death. Love them, be patient with them and as they heal so will their behavior.

Give yourself and your chosen profession some time. And be true to yourself.

labordude, BSN, RN · Sep 24, 2017

lindahartford said:
The American Nurses Association is very proud that Nurses are THE most respected professionals in America. This has been so for many years.
When you respect yourself and others, respect will come back to you.
I retired after 53 years of nursing. In my experience, the loudest, crankiest or rudest patients are actually just plain scared. Many of them scared almost to death. Love them, be patient with them and as they heal so will their behavior.
Give yourself and your chosen profession some time. And be true to yourself.

I have seen polls that nurses are the most TRUSTED profession, but not ones where they are the most respected. The closest I could find to respected was a Harris Poll about a career having prestige. Do not confuse trusted with respected.

Any unit where disrespect or unprofessionalism have thrived suffers from weak leadership over multiple levels. The hardest part is finding good leaders who are also nurses that have the capacity to be a manager as well. They are completely different things.

Saraghawas · Sep 25, 2017

I'm sorry you've had this experience, maybe being placed in a different work environment will help

NurseDisneyPrincess · Sep 25, 2017

OP, you're in for a wild ride. If you just started clinical, then consider yourself at the beginning of a crazy safari adventure that is the world of nursing. Buckle up!

In nursing, you'll find that you are going to deal with a lot of different personalities, from co-workers to patients. In a perfect world, everyone would get along, have a mutual understanding and respect for one another, and there would be no conflict. I too, would love for that kind of environment to exist, especially in the nursing world. But it doesn't. Peek around any local hospital and you'll see frustrated doctors, tired nurses with cranky patients and an endless amount of work that there's not enough time in the world to do. You will likely catch a glimpse of this everywhere, even in the most perfect of hospitals with the best doctors and staff. No where is perfect. No job is perfect. Visit any professional forum and from teachers to postal service workers to lawyers, I'm sure a lot of different industries feel that they are treated poorly or don't get enough money or respect. It makes sense because often times we feel that no one understands or appreciates how much we do.

You're going to encounter a lot of nurses who earned their degrees and their licenses to help others because they feel like they have been called to do it; others just want a paycheck and couldn't nurture a cabbage patch doll if they tried... I think that's also a big misconception about nurses; not all are nurturing, sweet, Mary Poppins-esque type creatures that are completely selfless. Most are just like you and me, working a whole lot to make a very small (but still important) difference. A lot are frustrated by the state of nursing today, and the unreasonable expectations that are put upon us. Nursing is very hard work and often times the reward is small. I think all of these issues breed hostility and low morale. You will see a lot of that wherever you go unfortunately.

Don't let others negativity cloud what you're doing. You can only be responsible for you. If others are miserable and disrespectful (students, doctors, fellow nurses, patients) then that's not your fault. A lot of times you have to chalk it up to someone having a bad day and consider what they are dealing with. But if you continually feel disrespected in your clinical or at your workplace, you will really have to sit down and reevaluate your place there. It's possible that you could just be working with unprofessional jerks who are miserable no matter what and that's definitely not a healthy environment.

There are jerks and rude people everywhere. There are people who will try to convince you that their cruelty is just "them being honest" and that you can't handle their great value brand version of honesty and wisdom. I say ignore these people and move on. They are rampant everywhere and are only growing by the numbers. They will never treat anyone with respect because they don't respect themselves. Once again, these people aren't significant to just nursing, but they are everywhere.

TriciaJ, RN · Sep 26, 2017

NuGuyNurse2b said:
In Canada, though. I imagine the different healthcare system there might affect that perception.

I don't know how it would. Nurses in Canada are dealing with the same issues, primarily short-staffing and not enough time to do everything.

Melvin Mokube · Sep 27, 2017

In my country Cameroon, every Nurse is known by almost everybody (Non Health personnel) as "Nurse Aid" and more to that male Nurses are called Doctors and female Nurses as Nurse.