To all nurses: Is my life really over?

  1. Originally posted by Rebecca Fleissner:
    Hello to all the nurses! I am just entering an ADN program. I spent 1yr. doing prereqs and did well. I am married and have 4 children. I am very scared and half doubting myself. Other students say I will have no social life at all. This is sad to hear b/c I don't know how I will survive if I have no other fun things in my life. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I have also heard that many marriages don't survive nur. school. My husband is supportiveand I think we can make it. I just can't believe I am already so stressed and I haven't even begun yet. I can't sleep and I feel I have to be totally organized before I begin. I hope this is just fear of the unknown. I am very caring and study hard, I really want this, so why am I doubtful 2 wks. before classes begin ??If anyone has any advise or hints to being organized I would greatly appreciate it. Not many nur. students are married w/ children, yes some are but I feel we nontraditional students have an even harder hill to climb. Just my opinion. Becky
    REBECCA, FIRST OFF.. TAKE A DEEP BREATH,TRY TO RELAX AND PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE.YOU HAVE MOST OF YOUR PREREQ. OUT OF THE WAY,THAT IS A BIG PLUS.YOU DO NEED TO SET ASIDE TIME EVERY WEEK FOR SOME FUN,SLEEP OR WHAT EVER YOU NEED TO DO THAT GIVES YOU A BREAK FROM SCHOOL.I LEFT FRI.AFTERNOONS-EVE AFTER CLINICALS FOR MY TIME.I MUST TELL YOU THOUGH THAT NURSING SCHOOL IS A HUGE COMMITMENT-EMOTIONALLY-FINANCIALLY.FOR ME THE COURSE WAS HARD,OUR SCHOOL HAD A 79 AND ABOVE TO PASS.I SPENT MANY HOURS READING,STUDYING AND PREPARING.SOME OF THE OTHER STUDENTS IN OUR CLASS HAD CHILDREN,WERE TAKING OTHER CLASSES AND WORKED,ONLY ONE PERSON DID NOT HAVE CHILDREN,A FEW PEOPLE WENT THROUGH A DIVORCE.SO I ALWAYS FELT THAT MY LOAD WAS EASIER( MY CHILDREN ARE TEENS,MY HUSBAND IS SUPPORTIVE)I WORKED 24 HOURS(2-12'S)AND HAD CLINICAL/CLASS 4 DAYS A WEEK.YOU CAN DO IT-IT WILL BE WELL WORTH YOUR TIME,LEARN SOME RELAXATION TECHNIQUES, AND KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE,DO TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY THEY CAN REALLY HELP YOU WITH THERE SUPPORT. OUR SCHOOL ALSO DID A MENTOR PROGRAM WHERE SENIOR STUDENTS WERE ASSIGNED TO FRESHMAN IF THEY WANTED TO HELP WITH ORGANIZATION,STUDY TIPS,AND NOTE TAKING,THEY WILL ALSO OFFER ADVICE ON CLINICAL ROTATIONS AND SUCH,IT WAS A HUGE HELP TO ME.ALSO YOU CAN OBSERVE WHAT WORKS WELL FOR SOME STUDENTS MIGHT ALSO WORK FOR YOU.DEVELOP A STUDY GROUP,USUALLY 1-2 PEOPLE AT THE MOST SO YOU WILL STAY FOCUSED.HOPE THIS HELPS.YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU REALLY WANT IT.JEANNE
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   Nancy1
    Rebecca,
    I agree with Spitfire 100%. You find a way to schedule yourself some time off. My husband and I started having "breakfast dates". We would go out for breakfast one day on the weekend. No kids. I have been out of school for 6 years and we still do the breakfast thing.
    I also learned to carry something with me to read while waiting for an appointment. I figured it was one way I could find a few minutes extra for my family. Schedule time out if there is a show on tv that you and your family enjoy. Make that a special time.
    I was 40 when I went to school. And i was thinking the same kind of thoughts, but in 1989 I did not have a computer or know how to use it.
    On these boards you will find plenty of support. Nurses are good at that. Good Luck. NA
  4. by   Linda J
    Rebecca:
    Relax...I was a nontraditional student when I went to nursing school...I am married but have no children and I worked myself up about nursing school just like you until I realized that I was only given ONE day at a time and could only manage that ONE day. My husband and I made time for the important things in life...our relationship and our family. We had to alter some things...instead of going to a restaurant to eat he went out and brought food to me...an alteration but a special treat. I graduated with two women who each were wives and mothers of SIX children and they survived...and so can you. Good luck to you and God Bless. You can do it!
    Linda J.
  5. by   nightstar41
    Dear Rebecca
    Do not anticipate trouble or difficulties before even starting!!! Take it one day at a time. Yes, it will be a real committment but balance is essential. I took a one evening off during the week just for me doing other things like cross-stitching and reading novels and also took one day off during the week-end for family time. This way, the family knew when mom was available and I focused on that only. We got into a routine real easily. I think that you need to discuss with your family what going back to school will mean to all and that you need their support and help. Once everyone knows what the expections are , the rest follows. Follow your lifelong dream! If you don't, you may become resentful and things would be much worse that way. You are already very fortunate to have your husband's support, many don't. Good luck and let us know how it goes! Nightstar

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  6. by   Rebecca Fleissner
    Hello to all the nurses! I am just entering an ADN program. I spent 1yr. doing prereqs and did well. I am married and have 4 children. I am very scared and half doubting myself. Other students say I will have no social life at all. This is sad to hear b/c I don't know how I will survive if I have no other fun things in my life. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I have also heard that many marriages don't survive nur. school. My husband is supportiveand I think we can make it. I just can't believe I am already so stressed and I haven't even begun yet. I can't sleep and I feel I have to be totally organized before I begin. I hope this is just fear of the unknown. I am very caring and study hard, I really want this, so why am I doubtful 2 wks. before classes begin ??If anyone has any advise or hints to being organized I would greatly appreciate it. Not many nur. students are married w/ children, yes some are but I feel we nontraditional students have an even harder hill to climb. Just my opinion. Becky
  7. by   JillR
    Everything you said brings back memories!!!! Hey, If I can do it, so can you. I had 2 kids and tow part time jobs, and I mangaged to do it. They things is that sometimes you really have to get selfish wit your time. Don't go through school not ahaveing any fun at all, make the time to have some fun, it's a great stress buster. I doubted myself before every semester but alot before the first sememster. Then I found out that I could do it, and it wasn't as hard as I thought and it wasn't nearly as hard as others made it sound. I'm not saying it wasn't challenging and tough, but it get easier as you learn to organize and prioritize you time and needs. I learned to spend more time studying the things that were hard for me and less tiem with the stuff that came easy. When I would study for tests I would go through all the stuff I needed to know and answer the questions verbally. If I could do that, then I would go on to something else. I learned to not put alot of time into studying ansewrs to questions I already knew.It worked good for me, I don't know if it will work for anyone else, but it might, and it saved me alot of time. I also priorized the classes. Is it more important that I give a terrific speech, or that I understand about kidney failure? can I afford to get a B on the speach if I get an A on the musing final? Things like that helped me tremendously. The fact that you have the generals out of the way is great!!!! I didn't have such luck. You will do better than you think. Go do something fun with your family before you start classes, it may just relieve some of the stress you are feeling now and help you relax and be more prepared to face the classes. Good Luck!!!! I have confidence in you!!!! Let us know how it's going and use us to vent to when you need it (also a good stress buster). JillR
  8. by   Youman
    Rebecca,

    Let me start by saying congrats! for getting into nursing school and completeing your pre reqs(that's half the battle). Next I too am married and I am the mother of two little girls I just want to echo what the others have said about making time for fun and family, that is most important. I'm not going to tell you that nursing school is going to be easy but if you really wanting you can do it. Stay on top of your readings, of which there is alot, and take good notes. I think that everyone doubts themselves before starting but just try to stay positive and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. I wish you all the best and remember relax you can do it
  9. by   hoolahan
    Everyone is right, you will be fine. I think that parents make much better nursing students, b/c you have learned more patience, and you will pass the growth and development exam in peds no problem. Having all your pre-req's out of the way will be very helpful. I don't know of one nursing student whose marriage broke up b/c of nursing school. Don't listen to rumors. Take a deep breath and have faith in yourself, you can do it.
  10. by   nightstar41
    Originally posted by Youman:
    Rebecca,

    Let me start by saying congrats! for getting into nursing school and completeing your pre reqs(that's half the battle). Next I too am married and I am the mother of two little girls I just want to echo what the others have said about making time for fun and family, that is most important. I'm not going to tell you that nursing school is going to be easy but if you really wanting you can do it. Stay on top of your readings, of which there is alot, and take good notes. I think that everyone doubts themselves before starting but just try to stay positive and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. I wish you all the best and remember relax you can do it
    Hi! I agree with you. I have a question that is not related to this...how do you include the smillies in the body of your e-mail when you respond...I am new to computers and eager to learn. Thanks!

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    nightstar
  11. by   justanurse
    Look for the "faq" section. It's located just under the top "reply to post" area. It tells you how to put up those neat faces.
  12. by   Youman
    Originally posted by nightstar41:
    Hi! I agree with you. I have a question that is not related to this...how do you include the smillies in the body of your e-mail when you respond...I am new to computers and eager to learn. Thanks!

    Anytime you want to add a smile to a message just hit the smilies legend on the left hand side of the "Your Reply" box. I love using them, I wish I could use them in everything!

  13. by   DonnaG
    Originally posted by Rebecca Fleissner:
    Hello to all the nurses! I am just entering an ADN program. I spent 1yr. doing prereqs and did well. I am married and have 4 children. I am very scared and half doubting myself. Other students say I will have no social life at all. This is sad to hear b/c I don't know how I will survive if I have no other fun things in my life. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I have also heard that many marriages don't survive nur. school. My husband is supportiveand I think we can make it. I just can't believe I am already so stressed and I haven't even begun yet. I can't sleep and I feel I have to be totally organized before I begin. I hope this is just fear of the unknown. I am very caring and study hard, I really want this, so why am I doubtful 2 wks. before classes begin ??If anyone has any advise or hints to being organized I would greatly appreciate it. Not many nur. students are married w/ children, yes some are but I feel we nontraditional students have an even harder hill to climb. Just my opinion. Becky
    Rebecca, Hi my name is Donna. I just graduated in May and my husband went through the nursing program with me. We have one child and are still happily married. If your marriage has survived parenthood it will most likely survive nursing school. LOL It is going to be a rough road but isn't everything that is worth anything? If you have always had the urge to be a nurse chances are you will not be happy until you are indeed a nurse. I felt the same way and decided to go back after the birth of my child. My husband then decided to go back with me and we both graduated together in May. It was hard and stressful but I would do it again! Talk to you later. Donna ;}
  14. by   nightstar41
    Thanks!

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