Time to Come Clean,,,,slips of the tongue

[Calgon-take.me.away]

nurses everywhere,,,,,unite!!!

what is the funniest, strangest, most embarrassing thing you have ever said to patient, or other nurses...you know you have,,,time to come clean and laugh!! here is mine...

i was out christmas shopping with my daughter this past year and we were in a local department store. this gentleman came up to me and said hi and asked me how i was doing. i kinda stood there for a second till the light came on and promptly apoligized for not recognizing him. then said in all honesty,",sorry i did not recognize you with your clothes on"..

what i meant was that the only time i had ever seen him was while he had scrubs on and did not recognize him in "real" clothes.

i thought his wife was gonna have a stroke right there and i know my daughter was looking for the nearest rock to climb under!!!

[mshultz]

Would you please follow in thier footsteps and teach ME what the "Q" sign is? I've been in healthcare forever (not as a thought) and I haven't heard of the Q sign, is this a word used strictly in critical care or is it used everywhere and I've just yet to hear it?

"O" Sign: mouth hanging open

"Q" Sign: mouth hanging open with tongue sticking out (looks like the letter "Q")

Dotted "Q" Sign: mouth hanging open, tongue sticking out, fly on tongue

It's amazing what I have learned by (mostly) lurking on this forum.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

ok, mine was at sunday school, not work..

discussing anceint followers of jesus, i brightly chimed in that "st. paul was the main apostle to the genitals". :imbar

have never lived that one down!!:brnfrt:

oh, i can top that one. not, i thank god, my own boo-boo, though.

a few years back, we had one of the gideons visit our church. (the folks who put bibles in hotel rooms and such).

he was standing at the podium speaking.

he meant to say "little cities."

what he said was "little titties."

you could've heard the pin drop then, too.

nobody laughed. however, i'm still amazed we didn't all explode from the effort!!!

he turned various shades of red and bravely continued on. i don't think anybody heard another word he said. i never checked, but expect that he probably got a larger-than-usual donation, out of sympathy.

[MommyandRN]

My woman pt had just gotten a massage from her husband, she said, when i walked in. I joked to him, "you've got to come over my house to do that for me". after i said it, the guy felt uncomfortable and i wish i hadn't said it!

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

Before I became a nurse, I got a degree in English and planned to teach. I never actually taught high school, but I did teach in a GED program for a short time before nursing school.

I did a lot of vocabulary work with the students, because if you are familiar with Greek and Latin roots, prefixes, and suffixes, you can figure out a lot of unfamiliar words in reading and on tests.

Anyway, this one evening I was going over circ, or circum, meaning around: circulate, circumference, circumnavigate. Now, remember, this is a non-medical crowd here- including myself.

Most of the class was over 25 or so, but there were a couple of 18 and 19 year-olds in the class. I gave a couple of examples, then asked the class if anyone else could think of a word?

Circumstances! Someone said.

Circumcision! This 19-year-old kid blurted!! Then he turned various shades of red!

:imbar

[BuffyJan]

:up:Thank you for that tidbit of information. I had never heard of that either. No i will know what to look for AND know what it is called!!

But are you serious about the dotted Q? Surely not...a fly? EEEWWW!:wink2:

"O" Sign: mouth hanging open

"Q" Sign: mouth hanging open with tongue sticking out (looks like the letter "Q")

Dotted "Q" Sign: mouth hanging open, tongue sticking out, fly on tongue

It's amazing what I have learned by (mostly) lurking on this forum.

[squeakykitty]

This was to a couple of other nurses, both male, at work one evening.

We were talking about the woman who had burned herself on McDonald's coffee. And I, without thinking said:

"I don't know about anybody else, but I know better than to drive my car with something hot between my legs."

It was just one of those things that you know it's coming out of your mouth, but it's way too late to stop it.

This is hilarious. I don't think you will live this one down for a long time.

When I was in my high school P.E. class, my friend said the F-word. I didn't hear her clearly and thought she said "Hurry up"!, so I said "I am, I am". It took me a long time to live that one down.

[squeakykitty]

ok, mine was at sunday school, not work..

discussing anceint followers of jesus, i brightly chimed in that "st. paul was the main apostle to the genitals". :imbar

have never lived that one down!!:brnfrt:

i don't think you ever will live that one down.

[Shenanigans, RN]

I hadn't been doign the whole "student nurse" thing for very long and was showering an old man.

Now, I have a habit of throwing the word "little" around, but more as a point of "its smaller than...".

I crouched down to clean his private parts and I said "I'll just give your little self a clean".

Not at all implying he was small, but rather it was smaller than the rest of him. (Frankly, he wasn't at all small in that department - which just made matters worse),

The guy couldn't move or clean himself at all, but all his dogs were barking... he responded "You know, some could take that as an insult... of course, I'm so damn huge I don't".

Thankfully the shower was so hot no one noticed the fact I'd gone bright red with embarrassment not the steam!!!!

[abbaking]

This is kinda dirty but funny so i will clean it up. We have a nurse on our unit who is from africa and speaks with a somewhat British accent. On the night in question we had a pot luck and everyone was asked to bring something in. I brought in a 2-litre of Coke. The nurse looks at me and says "Wow, that a big ________ you have". You know the word I am trying not to say. With her accent Coke sounded like slang for the male genitals.

It was dirty but very very funny.

[HisTreasure, BSN, RN]

In my first job I was floated to another unit. It was mid shift for this unit (I worked 8s, this was an 12h unit) so the nurse had written report and left it for me. She had reported on a resident that had ward privileges (ability to sign herself out of the hospital for up to 47 hours at a time). Written down was something to the effect of "we think she might be pregnant. The NP will write an order for the test tomorrow." I did a double take as this is LTC and brushed it off. After reviewing the report I did visual rounds on all the residents and when I got to her room I exclaimed "Oh! You're not old!" She just laughed. I was mortified. What a feux pas. :chair: