some cheese with your WHINE?

[hapeewendy]

I am sooooooo tired of working as the designated incharge RN on my unit, sure I'm a younger nurse compared to some and have gotten positive feedback from everyone about the job I'm doing

but its just not me

I dont dig all this administrative stuff

I miss my patient care!

I want to leave feeling that I've helped someone specifically and made a difference......

today I walked into work and heared everyone moaning and pizzing about how heavy their teams are!

I mean I know we all complain sometimes but each team complained and really the teams are not that brutal right about now.

I wish that some ppl would start viewing their patients as ppl,and not just part of "a brutal assignment"

people are here cuz they need us, and I know I may be idealistic when I start ranting about how I dont like to hear my co workers complain about patients but it just makes me feel bad that just because a person may need a lot of care that nurses get upset and hostile because of all the potential work they are gonna have to do on their shift.

nursing is never a cake walk.....its a damn difficult career to maintain, and you cannot go into it with the notion that you will not always be working ur butt off and clearly making less money than you deserve.

the desire to nurse comes from within, comes from somewhere that I personally cant explain

but when you hear your fellow nurses complaining about this patient, or this assignment, on a habitual basis, not just because their day is particularly rough, doesnt it make you ponder why they continue to nurse in the first place?!?!?!

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

nursie, I am not upset that people disagree with me, I dont post here to get hurrahs and you go girls , I post here to bring up subjects for discussion.

what upsets me is when ppl get personal, tell me that My posts are angry and venomous, or that I'm on some kind of high horse, or that they are not going to respond to me or write to me anymore because I seem hostile or bitter

how these ppl can read so much into a post is beyond me, but even after I clarify that I wasnt angry I still get nowhere.

Wendy, you said it yourself, how people interpret posts is always a problem when one's word's cannot be heard, and body language cannot be observed. At one time or another, most people's posts get misinterpreted, sometime's it is innocent, sometimes due to a person's own tunnel vision. Some people have the gift of eloquent communication, and believe me, it is a gift, and some people, like me, sometimes can't even understand my own posts when I re-read them (thank goodness for the edit feature, which if I wasn't so typing-lazy, I would correct my typos with, but I generally am more concerned with my message being understood than spelling.)

So try not to take it too personally. This has happened to me too, and sometimes it is better to just let it go than to continue to feel like you have to defend yourself. I have noticed personally, that when I come here to whine, there is an occassional poster who always feels the need to educate me about how pt's have needs, I'd feel differently if in their shoes, etc... To be blatantly honest, when I am whining, I just want someone to say basically, "poor me." I am NOT seeking a lecture. Nor am I a chronic whiner at work, far from it, I don't get to work in the office, or on a unit with all my co-workers, and I can't see their assignment, and they can't see mine in home health. So, Heaven forbid I come here and say a patient or a family member is not a nice person, or worse, I usually end up w at least one person giving me a lecture of sorts about empathy, or making a statement such as I have difficulty with change.

All of this may be true, but I definitely didn't come here and post to hear that! LOL. However, it has humbled me. I guess when that is the only snapshot someone has of me, what I post on a BB, then I either have to decide to take the risk, post as I wish, and tolerate other's opinion's and interpretations of that, or not post. I can't tell you how many times I was going to post, wrote a long entry in the reply box, only to re-read it and change my mind entirely. Sometimes I cut and paste it into a document so I can recall my feelings at a later time, after the "crisis" is over. In fact that is exactly what I did the first time I was going to reply here.

This is not a lecture to you BTW, just sharing that I understand completely how you feel about your words being misinterpreted, and only to try to play devil's advocate as well. I have felt just like you, and many many times changed my mind about posting my feelings here, because I didn't want to risk being misunderstood.

The bottom line is, when you post an opinion here, you have to be prepared for whatever type of response you get, good, bad, and ugly, intentionally mean, or innocently mis-interpreted, because communication is usually more than just words. Hope that helps you feel a little better.

[hapeewendy]

hoolahan you make a lot of sense

I always try to empathize with my co workers and join in when all of us need support

I guess I just get tired of a select few not understanding the fact that they have a job to do

its not everyone

its not even the majority

but a few very vocal negative people can bring a whole many others down

cheers

[micro, RN]

first off to the original threader here

Wendy.....charge...you have the ability and drive to do it, and I for one respect you and anybody that does charge...that is something that I have no desire to do.....

I have seen many negative comments about management and "the actual ones of us doing the work on the floor".......

and I have to reread.....because at least where I work and where Wendy works.....being charge is not sitting in a "cush" office somewhere.....

but instead charge is being entirely responsible for the floor during a particular shift, relying on your nurses and all others "under"(please no disrespect with my use of under here)

you and usually also having to do patient care, admits, and the majority of the time also having a patient load, let alone trying to assign and judge assignments for the shift....

browns....you have posted much good opinions here and as you know I love your postings.....we go way back you and I.....but I have to humbly disagree....

for the eight hour shift is NOT THE TIME TO p & m about working conditions, patient care acuity(unless something significant and lifethreatening), staffing, etc. ..

for that shift.....

it is just the time to count narcs, take report, quick once around on your patients and then begin to do your cares and survive your eight hours......and yes, i know i used the

negative word of survive eight hours......well this week this has been the nature of the beast.....

but that is not always the case even in today's very health care world.....

like last week, I actually knew what the shift change was...hehehe

We are all in this thing together.....and I for one am slowly becoming more politically active.......like micro before becoming micro(chrysalis formation).....had head in sand.......

but the time for that is not when patients lives are depending on me and other nurses.....and we are getting paid for what we do.........

if i wanted to move to an area that pays higher than where I am currently, then that is my choice.....(but that is a whole 'nother subject)

and :chair:

I have no answers, but I know that the drive for me to nurse came from way other than unions, working conditions and $$$.

Other than the mountain in Tibet that I keep dreamin' of and ______dom', reality is I am a nurse...

and now micro and out of here.....

no insult here to anybody,

in fact kudos to all of us, charge nurses and all,

what the world need now is for the world to understand what health care and nursing is.....and to care>>>governments, organizations, health care corporations and conglomerates are you listening:angryfire:stone

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

Well Wendy, having said what I said about posting, back to the original topic, I can't stand whining at work either. Listening to someone else p&m just makes my day feel worse. Yes we are all overworked, yes we should make a political stance, but while we are on duty, can't we just all try to cooperate w each other and get thru the shift??!!

So true that even ONE negative person can bring everyone else down. WE had one nurse in my old SICU, when I was in charge one night, it was the first time I had the perspective of viewing her activities, on a calm night, from the perspective of not having my own assignment. As I relieved for lunches, and made rounds, I watched her go from bedside to bedside, stirring up the pot by discussing how someone else had gotten vacation time, but she was turned down, and before you knew it, the whole unit was abuzz with this ridiculous vacation policy, and scrutinizing everyone elses schedule. I saw her then sit down, and look at her work, smiling like a cheshire cat. I was amazed. She was one smooth operator.

Sometimes you can get an entirely diff perspective when you're in charge too. In that same unit, our steady day shift charge told me on my charge orientation that she has been doing this for so long, she was certain she could look into a nurses eyes and study their pupils, and skin tones, and tell whether they were ovulating, or PMSing, and she would frequently base her assignments on these observations. I was blown away by that. Spooky thing is, I believe she really can tell things, like a psychic, she had this uncanny ability to watch you, and then say something to let you know she understood exactly what was going through your head.

When I did charge in that place, it was a real orientation to management, even tho I was only relief charge on a rare occassion (Thank God!) But, it is truly an eye-opener to observe those you used to work next to (only, and I say only b/c in charge you work as well, and in that unit someone was always coding or new people were always on IABP training and needed mentoring) and then see them from the charge viewpoint. I must have been like my namesake, Margaret Houlihan, b/c when I first started taking charge on nights, one of the nurses approached me to ask if it was OK if she did needlepoint on her down time. I said, as long as everyone else has time to do needlepoint, you can too, but if someone is drowning, and you are doing needlepoint, I will have a problem with that. From that point on, she was the most helpful nurse in the unit. I loved working with her! I was really lucky to work with some great people in that unit, we were a well-oiled team, warts and all!

But even so, whining would happen, and it gets on my nerves, I prefer to whistle Zip-a Dee Do-Dah and ignore the whining. This is NOT ignoring nurses being overworked, it is getting through your day.

[micro, RN]

amen, hoolihan

and wendy too!!!!!

and i believe rusty and.........uh, oh.......I am starting to look into my Miss Peggy Romper Room mirror.............

love you all

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Wendy you are doing fine in my opinion. Everyone is overworked- even the charge nurses. It's not fair, it just is, and complaining to someone who cannot make he patients disappear just makes the shift more difficult for everyone. If they want to draw up a letter for admin, or call a meeting, well that might help...but I bet they didn't.

If all teams are complainging that they are overworked it sounds like the tough patients were distributed evenly to all the teams and you did your job well. All that is left is for them and you to do your best to get through the day and promise them you will help when you can. Answering a call bell without being asked etc will boost your credibility- but I bet you know that and already do it.

PS Sometimes I think there are people who come to the board needing to lash out or to rant at some unsuspecting "uncaring" nurse. We all have our moments, don't sweat it.

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by micro

first off to the original threader here

browns....you have posted much good opinions here and as you know I love your postings.....we go way back you and I.....but I have to humbly disagree....

And micro...I accept your decision to disagree with me..:). Which is your right...and I bow to it..:). Thank you for not beating me over the head...as it was much appreciated...:kiss

[Shandy12]

happeewendy,

I was not happy to see that you felt bad about posting on this topic. Just remember that no matter what is posted there is some person with a difference of opinion. It doesn't mean anything personally.

I understand exactly about nurses moaning about patient assignments before they've left report. Usually these are the nurses who need to think about why they got up to come to work in the first place.

I get tired of seeing nurses complaining about shift and weekend assignments. Part time people seem to get so bent out of shape about working partial weekends.

We were required to work 2 weekends per month as part time, and that could be any combination from Friday night to Sunday nights. It's the way it is. It's nursing.

Let's start complaining and planning for things like understaffing that are dangerous for us and the patients, not who got how many total bed baths to do this morning.!

Lynda

[micro, RN]

hey browns.......i know what it is like being beaten over the head........

you are way too cool a person, threader and a nurse and besides micro is not that kind.........

besides you had many valid points, just that i thought wendy had valid points and there must have just been a speed of light sound and word distortion between the two of you.........because you are both TOPS.....in old micro's book.......

WE IS ALL ON THE SAME TEAM HERE FOLKS...............

and micro for one is so glad................

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by micro

besides you had many valid points, just that i thought wendy had valid points and there must have just been a speed of light sound and word distortion between the two of you.........because you are both TOPS.....in old micro's book.......

WE IS ALL ON THE SAME TEAM HERE FOLKS...............

and micro for one is so glad................

Okkk...you're right Micro! :)

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by hapeewendy

with this , my final words on the subject

brownie it would be a shame for you to stop talking to me or writing reponses and giving me great advice based on what you thought was anger

I am not angry, I have never been angry at anyone on this board and I dont plan to anytime soon....

but thats your choice

I may ooze of frustration at times , but I am certainly not a whiner nor am I a hateful spiteful person

I am only filling in as the incharge/desk RN so its not like I am aiming towards management or anything, my incharge is a very physically ill person and she asked me to fill in, so I did.

doesnt make me anything other than a bedside nurse who loves her patients.

I shouldnt even be writing this , I dont want people to get even worse opinions about me than they may have now

cheers

Happeewendy,

OOk...I would like to go back and try this again...

First ...the post: " And if you don't like it...why don't you leave???"...was meant to be a response ...that was a part to this paragraph: " That why you became a nurse...right?? To be abused, misued...and discarded...when you can't keep up!

It was not directed at you...to be a suggestion of any kind.

Maybe when you thought I was telling you to leave...and this is what prompted the response you made. Maybe it was because I left a space in between there...and it gave the impression that I was saying this statement to you. I wasn't...but I will agree ...it may have looked that way. But it was a response to your statement "doesn't it make you ponder why they continue to nurse in the first place?!?!?!

Second...your statement about: "the teams are not that brutal right about now. Sounded or came across...as condesending to "me".

And the statement that: "and you cannot go into it with the notion that you will not always be working ur butt off and clearly making less money than you deserve." Came across to me as you were saying...that working your butt off was the way nursing had to be...and what nursing was all about! I didn't agree.

I guess I hear so much this from those who feel....that nursing has to be brutal...and I just don't understand that thinking.

But it was your second post...that really got to me!

Even though I prefaced the statment...that you sounded like managment...with the fact I had a lot of respect for you....that part seemed to be lost. I felt you made assumptions about my reading or not reading your posts....that was unfair!

"If you had bothered to actually read my post before responding you would have seen that I am not talking about being overwhelmed " Or "

I think you glossed over a lot of the points I raised to respond quickly by saying that I dont understand and that my co workers are overwhelmed and that I sounded indifferent." And yes I did think you sounded (to me ) indifferent.

I had read it and re-read it...I didn't gloss over anything....but I just couldn't agree with it. Now I have been in the management seat also...and yes I have had someone who whined about every assignment I made...while I was a team leader in Home Health. But I would never have thought to call her a "*%&^*. I knew she was a mom who had a husband out of work...and she was tired...and was holding on to the best paying job out there at the time! I took her whinning as just her way of dealing. I knew her pts loved her...and she was a good nurse...no matter how much she whinned. This was just a part of who she was at the moment.

I guess I was also shocked by some of the language you used to describe your fellow co-workers.

And YESSSSS happeewendy...you do have every right to complain to your heart's content....but there is always someone who is going to see a different post of view. And no matter what...there is always two sides to any story.

What I'm saying .....and I'm probably a little voice in the dark....just look at it from their side. I could see if it was one or two...but when everyone is complaining...something is wrong with this picture...IMHO. Meaning that "I" felt that there was more to the complaining...then just complaining to be complaining.

But this was just my feeling on the subject, and I didn't expect to receive a presumption by you, that I didn't take time to read and understand where you were coming from. I just saw things from a different prespective...then you and others did.

Happeewendy...It was not my intent to upset you...but to express my disagreement with what I read. I didn't jump to conclusions just to hurry up and write a post to make you look bad....or just disagree to disagree with you...for any reason!

Maybe my view is colored by my own personal experiences to the point that I'm not able to see where you're comng from....but I have to be honest and say what I truly believe, and feel.

My response of not wanting to interact with you again was said in anger, ...and I do regret writing that to you. And no your whinning wasn't the worst I had heard in the last 20yrs...:)...I know I have heard worse....and from your subsequent posts...I see you're in a stressful situation. So I will retract my over the top response.

[micro, RN]

brownie.......

you rock and rock on'