Personality At Work vs. At Home

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm transitioning back into a clinical role after some time off and am realizing how different I am when I'm practicing as a nurse vs. in my mundane "off" time. At home, I'm cluttered, scatter-brained, meek, passive and always looking for someone to tell me that what I'm doing is right.

At work, I use clinical judgment and critical thinking, I'm organized, I anticipate needs, and I'm more patient than I ever thought was possible. I'm also more relaxed and at ease in conversation.

Obviously, I put on my "game face" for work and it works (and should!), but who else experiences this phenomenon? Are you a different person at work than if I were to bump into you at the grocery store?

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.

Not so much for me...

I have been a nurse for over 30 years so...

I am still me at work, just more or less of some parts of me...

for example...I am bossy at home, I am more bossy at work.

I am silly at home, I am less silly at work.

I am a smart*** at home, much less of one at work.

I am a problem solver at home (drives my husband crazy) and that is often what I am paid to do at work.

I like people and care about those in my life...at work and at home.

I could go on, but I believe I have made my point...

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Of course it's not a fake. It's a testament to your excellent game face. Think of it as an Oscar for your award-winning performance in the role of the nurse. ;)

Yes! I like that award even better!!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I think part of this dichotomy is because when u spend 12hrs or so with your sole purpose is to be a safe, organized , care taker ( in the fullest sense of the word) for people you dont know and dont love , it takes more from you. You get literal orders all day with requests on top. On your days off, you wish your husband could get YOU a drink . All the time spent at work with other peoples problems becoming mine makes the fuse shorter.

That was a vent, no one start hating now!

That said, you should only work to live, never live to work. A magnesium iv bag will not be comforting me at my deathbed. Patients and illness will always exist. Thats why nurses are around 24/7.

Ill only be a newlywed for a little bit longer. Ill be a nurse for the rest of my days. I have to consciously be kind and loving to my husband after rough shifts sometimes. Thats okay, he didnt give me the bad day and deserves a wife who is happy to be greeted by him.

Perspective wooohoooo!

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Oh yeah, at home if my baby is running a temp I look to my husband (who is a mechanic lol) to calm me down! I have never been in peds (no desire too either) so whenever my babies get sick it's like my brain went out the window. Now in an emergency at work I am level headed and in control. I am also someone with a silly personality but I mainly keep that at home, I know I can say ditsy things (speak before I think) so I keep a calm demeanor so that people dont question my abilities.

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Specializes in Gerontology, Case Management, Pediatrics.

Reading some of these posts sure brightened my day! I have always thought I had 2 different personalities. My work one was kind and caring to my patients, not so much coworkers who didn’t pull their load or care for patients the way I felt they should be cared for. I used to tell my staff: “How would you want your mom, dad, or grandparents cared for? That’s how we treat our patients.”

My home personality was kind, loving and caring for my children (even with a migraine headache); spouses not so much. My spouse would say “Do you treat your patients that way?” It’s always on the tip of my tongue to sarcastically say, “No, because they are truly ill whereas you complain about every little ache and pain”. Lol

So, I guess a mental health person would have a field day with me. haha

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Specializes in Critical, EMS.

I really related to this article and was moved at how many of there are out there like me. After I became a nurse my marriage of 22 years crumbled. At work I was a confident decision maker and well respected for my abilities, going home to the constant disrespect, downgrading, and abuse opened my eyes to how small I had allowed myself to become. It's very sad and I had hoped it would change but it didn't and the two worlds collided in a huge mess. I hope to one day feel the same in both worlds, but for now I'm just becoming who I need to be to make that happen. Thanks for the post.

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I am definitely two people. Maybe even more than two... xD

I get told by my patients quite frequently how refreshing it is to have someone who really cares. I bend over backwards to get them anything they need and 99% of what they want. I always try to make time to talk, I'm friendly, I'm patient, I'm personable, and I'm highly organized. I am also very perky - I had a manager tell me it was refreshing to see someone around with so much positive energy, and that I was a great influence on the rest of the staff.

When I get off work, I'm a total sarcastic people-hater. It's funny how I can sit and politely listen to a patient talk when they're upset for 20 or more minutes, but I will absolutely be rude as all get out to people in the mall, on the roads, etc. I seriously have zero tolerance for the masses outside of the job. I get told often that I am really evil and sarcastic. I think I use up all of my perky and my people skills at work, and there are absolutely none of either left for when I walk out of the hospital. I also am a very messy housekeeper.

I am the same way!!!! But instead if being rude, I still try to be polite. I guess I am definitely more vindictive. Most of my close friends tell me they hated me the first time they met me because I'm a B***h. Lol. Glad to know I am not the only one like that!

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Specializes in PACU, presurgical testing.

I am much more patient at work than I am at home. My preceptor didn't believe me when I said I was a very impatient mom, because I am very patient with patients! I'm higher-strung and less organized at home, too. Even before I was a nurse, I was much more laid back at work than at home. I get my work done very well, but I am the type to "put my head down" and just get it done, whereas at home I'm more of a dictator! :no:

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At work I'm a sweet little angel and have sooooo much patience. At home, I have frequent temper tandrums and fall apart. Yes, I'm totally two different people.

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Specializes in ED.

At work I am confident, organzied and decisive. I am very a much a take charge kind of person, and while I am very kind and compassionate to my patients, I don't tolerate verbal abuse and bad behavior. Yep, I'm the one who tells the young men to pull their pants up around there waist while they are in emergency department. I am a quick thinker and cool and calm in a crisis. I am the go to girl whenever there is a problem.

At home, I have been through 2 marriages, both of which treated me like a door mat. My second husband always overrided any decision I a made, and I found myself becoming a meek quiet mouse. (No one at work would ever describe me as meek and quiet). I have since divorced and now try to incorporate my work self into my home self. I feel better about myself when I am at work and know that is the person I truly want to be. I strive to be more organized and manage my time better. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man and I stand up for myself and what I believe in. I make my wants and needs known now. My work self is defininetly my true self and I am glad that it has always stayed with me at least in some part.

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