Nursing with mental illness

[BirdieBird, BSN]

Dear fellow nurses, I need advice on what to do. About a year ago, I suffered a complete nervous breakdown while working as an RN in a large hospital as a float nurse. I was committed to our own behavioral health unit and diagnosed with type 1 bipolar, ptsd, and anxiety disorder. I ended up taking an 11 month leave from my position and attempted to return to the floor last month. I was not ready to say the least. I felt completely incompetent and unsafe in providing patient cares, further more, I really didn't CARE the way I did a year earlier. I ended up resigning on the spot after 4 weeks; I feel this was career suicide. What can I do to find a position that doesn't cause such intense fear as the acute care setting brought into my life? Any advice is appreciated and thank you in advance!

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

Hi, Bridget,

I'm sorry you're going through this. I completely understand the feeling of being incompetent when coming back after a break. About 25 years ago, I went through a period of 3 years where I was almost completely unable to leave home due to agoraphobia. Obviously, I wasn't able to work during that time. When I decided I was ready to go back to work, I eased myself back in by starting with private duty shifts. After a few years of that I was able to pick up a full time NICU position & I did just fine. I had given myself time to get my groove back & feel confident again.

Maybe private duty would be a good place to start. It's 1 patient at a time & you don't have to commit to full time if you don't want to. I hope you feel better soon.

PM me if you want.

[TakeTwoAspirin, MSN, RN, APRN]

Poppycat gave you some really good advice.

I have to wonder though if you really have burned your bridges with your (ex)employer. Is there anyone you can go to on your old unit and talk to. They clearly new your history and were willing to help you get back into nursing. I am wondering, if you gave them a chance to do so, whether they would not be willing to allow you to ease back with a little less off a time commitment and a little more support. Clearly, you thought you could step back into your old shoes and function like you once did. That was clearly overly optimistic on your part and theirs. Would it be impossible for you to go back and be honest? Tell them you were overwhelmed, and panicked. Ask them if they would consider a modified schedule, or another unit. It can't hurt to ask, you have nothing to lose at this point, and it does seem like they value as an employee.

Whatever happens, it is unlikely you have ruined your career over this. Sure, you put a crimp in it, but just keep moving forward, and don't give up. There will be more opportunities.

[anewsns]

I have the bipolar 1 as well. Triggers left and right In nursing. I think it's better to shift the focus from your career in the classical sense to your health and also which setting you can make a difference and be safe while being happy. Like , maybe you would even like to work in psych ? Some days I thought I'd be better off not being a nurse at all- some days I think id be better in some care home living off people's tax money. For now, just switched from long term care to acute rehab and my work place is amazing, this is like the sweetest job ever. Good career move PLUS sanity! I was getting really single minded about working in our big level II trauma nearby. (Which sounds like a complete 180 from my previous comment ) but thats just all or nothing thinking. I do better just considering the overall situation and what's going to truly work for myself and the patients. People need your help and expertise everywhere. Those mental health issues are such a double edged sword sometimes but we can get them to work in our favor.