nursing isn't for everyone

Nurses General Nursing

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Inspired by the thread on the realities of nursing/healthcare vs. what people expect...

If you are having second thoughts about nursing school and/or entering the nursing profession, listen to your intuition. YOU know yourself better than anyone else - including well-meaning friends and family- and you know what is best for you.

People are fond of saying "it takes a special kind of person to be a nurse" and "not everyone is cut out for it" and while the often-condescending attitude implied in that is wrong, the premise is right. It takes a particular set of talents, interests, personality traits, and passion to be successful AND happy as a nurse- just like it takes a certain unique combination of attributes to be a chef, lawyer, au pair, day trader, plumber, cinematographer, computer programmer, or any other job you can possibly think of. Take an honest look at your talents, interests, and personality traits before you go to nursing school if you are having any doubts at all. If you feel you are better suited to something else, pursue that instead!

Also think about WHY you want to go into nursing. If nursing honestly doesn't appeal to you, don't go into it just for the money or the job security. (Healthcare is always changing and there is NO guarantee your job and/or salary won't be cut on a whim. It's happened before and it can happen again.)

Don't go into it to please other people. (YOU will be the one getting up at 5 am, holding your pee for hours, paying back your student loans, etc.)

Don't go into it thinking it's an easy way to fund your real passions and/or side business, or that it's a "fallback plan" to rely on while you try to make a living doing what you love. (If that's your line of thinking, imho you're more likely to be successful if you channel all the time, effort, money, and energy you would have spent getting a nursing degree and direct it toward what you really want. Nursing is a full-time job and then some, and they expect to be your #1 priority.)

I majored in violin performance in undergrad. After graduating I started teaching private students and playing local professional gigs - I was not rich obviously, but I was supporting myself independently and making it work.

My family, otoh, thought I was a failure and a disappointment because I didn't have a 9-5 career. "when are you going to grow up?", "XYZ's daughter is applying for law schools, and I have to tell people you teach violin lessons", "no one makes a living at music", "you're going to end up living in a box on the street with nothing if you don't go back to school and get a real job", etc.

When the recession hit in 2008, several of my students had to cut back or stop lessons because they couldn't afford as much, and I had two performance contracts cancelled because the organizations weren't getting their money either. I panicked and decided they were right and I had to go back to school for something "secure" and "professional". According to everyone, healthcare was the only sure thing left.

My intuition was saying "don't do it", and logically there was never anything to suggest that I would make a decent nurse (I'm not a nurturing person, I'm crap at science, I don't like working with sick people or old people, and I hated working as a CNA).

When I received an acceptance letter my first thought was "I could just shred the letter and tell everyone I was rejected".

When I started struggling with severe depression in nursing school, it scared me - I've always been a happy, generally positive person. If that's not a red flag that you're on the wrong path, I don't know what is. I've been working for a year, and I finally have to admit this isn't for me and I need to make a change.

So right now I'm working PRN and actively working on getting back into teaching and performing violin. I have so much regret about the time and money I spent doing something I never wanted to do- I can never get those 5 years back, and I will probably be on income-based student loan repayment until I'm 50, and going back to working for myself is scary because unlike nursing, there is no guaranteed weekly paycheck. But I also feel SO relieved. I'm starting to feel like myself again.

I just found this forum, and I've read several posts where people are either questioning if it's right for them, or regretting their decision and asking for advice on how to get out. Sorry for the excessively lengthy post, but I wish that even one person would have taken me aside while I was preparing to go to nursing school and said "you don't want to do this and you're not good at it; why are you doing this?"

And the scary thing is that I've met other people at work whose stories are much the same. The guy shadowing me who looked bored out of his mind all day and came alive when he talked about how he wanted to start a car detailing business and planned on using his nursing income to do that. (Wouldn't it make more sense to get a small business loan NOW and focus all your energy on that, than to spend four years doing something you don't care about and then try to divide your energy between nursing and starting your business?) The student who wanted to be a massage therapist but felt pressured by her family into getting a BSN and then an MSN because only a master's degree was prestigious enough for them. Anyway. If you recognize yourself in any of this, think really hard about whether nursing is right for you.

Nursing would be worth pursing if the business side of it would stop abusing it. The only message I read here is, " Hey if you can't stand being abused and being pay very poorly for it.... don't sign up. But, hey, we are always hiring victims... here, sign up." Don't be a nurse unless you're a masochist and can jump high when said to (like Gollum, that character on Lord of the Rings).... The problem is not about becoming a nurse ( a very noble practice ) It's the accountants, lawyers, and admins that rise to the top to pretty much practice that which is floats there.... But they don't give a damn.... and THE WORST... Nurses who just take it and accept it.

I debated whether or not to address some of the snide comments regarding my own story. Being a musician does not equal being immature or unrealistic, as a few of you have unfortunately suggested. It's not impractical to expect to make a decent living in the arts. To those of you acting like I'm some kind of unrealistic pie-in-the-sky hack, no. I went to one of the top conservatories in the country on a full scholarship and came out with no debt, and I WAS supporting myself playing and teaching, even despite the recession. When the economic downturn hit, almost EVERYONE was affected regardless of their profession. Yes, I had to cut back on a few things, but I was never in danger of actually being in poverty or anything like that.

What I wish I would have realized then is that being self-employed and/or doing freelance work is a business, and there are going to be ups and downs. It's to be expected, not a sign of failure. The only mistake I made was allowing my family to play on my anxiety and convince me that making less money one year was a sign of impending failure rather than a normal business fluctuation. I am to blame for that though, as I was the one who ultimately made the decision and then didn't have the courage to change paths immediately when I realized it was wrong for me. Fortunately I do now.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Professionally, I am a nurse. Privately, I am an artist. Costuming is a lifelong passion of mine, and I spent a decade traveling and competing. Hell, I keep a set of pliers and chainmaille in my nursing bag to keep busy while my patient sleeps (some people crotchet, some people make medieval armor). I sculpt, I paint, I sew, I do leatherwork, metalwork and woodcarving, every table surface in my house has been damaged by resin or fiberglass at some point. It's an incredible experience. Sometimes I take a week off to go travel somewhere, march in a parade or go to a big event where I meet the actors who inspired the costumes I wear. I receive requests for commissions and jobs on a regular basis, and I always turn them down. Why?

It's my passion. And that is exactly why I would never sully it by making it a career.

I strongly believe that for me, passions are best left enjoyed on my own terms, at my leisure, with no professional obligations or deadlines attached to them. I absolutely love that I can pick a project up when I feel like it, and put it right back down when I don't. I know that at age eighty, I will be the kooky old spinster at your local renaissance fair, and that's fine by me.

I am in no way warm, fuzzy and tender-hearted. But I am fast, efficient and handle stress well. I LOVE icky, gross things and shock value. Years of working in hospitality has enabled me to possess a friendly disposition, even when I'm feeling sour. Nursing fits into the sum of these traits, and I enjoy it enough to do it professionally. The flexibility and pay allows me to pursue my passions as I please. I'm even working toward grad school, because I plan to stay in the profession until I retire.

For some of us, a job is something we work so we can do the things we really, really love on the side (and still be able to pay the mortgage). I don't fault you for your choices, OP. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta eat, y'know? Even if nursing ultimately ended up being a bad fit, I admire the mental fortitude it took to make it through nursing school. Financial solvency is important, and you shouldn't be ashamed of that!

I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck to you in your professional endeavors!

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I debated whether or not to address some of the snide comments regarding my own story. Being a musician does not equal being immature or unrealistic, as a few of you have unfortunately suggested. It's not impractical to expect to make a decent living in the arts. To those of you acting like I'm some kind of unrealistic pie-in-the-sky hack, no. I went to one of the top conservatories in the country on a full scholarship and came out with no debt, and I WAS supporting myself playing and teaching, even despite the recession. When the economic downturn hit, almost EVERYONE was affected regardless of their profession. Yes, I had to cut back on a few things, but I was never in danger of actually being in poverty or anything like that.

What I wish I would have realized then is that being self-employed and/or doing freelance work is a business, and there are going to be ups and downs. It's to be expected, not a sign of failure. The only mistake I made was allowing my family to play on my anxiety and convince me that making less money one year was a sign of impending failure rather than a normal business fluctuation. I am to blame for that though, as I was the one who ultimately made the decision and then didn't have the courage to change paths immediately when I realized it was wrong for me. Fortunately I do now.

I would never say that. I played the violin for several years, and I dreamed of playing in the NY Philharmonic for Leonard Bernstein. Now that was unrealistic!

I admire, even envy people who are accomplished musicians. It takes a great deal of smarts and confidence to really learn to play an instrument.

Can I just chime in and say that some of you have given great advice/support! And for my two cents, I know I am not working my dream job. There are some things I like about my job and a lot of things I do not like. But I have a job. It pays the bills. I always tell myself "nothing is permanent" and I do not have to work at this job forever. I apply to jobs outside the hospital and hopefully someday I will get a call back but even just applying is therapeutic lol. So yeah, I totally don't love the job, but I'm not yet to the point of throwing in the towel. I work hard when I am there and when I am not there I like to pretend I'm not a nurse. This was no "calling" for me, just as waitressing wasn't either. But I can't think of a career that I would just absolutely love. So, I have to make money somehow. And as long as I do my job to the best of my ability, take good care of my patients and not surround my coworkers with negativity, then that isn't an issue for anyone. In my free time I sing, play guitar, and write lyrics. I love that it completely takes my mind away from work. If it was my work, I'm not sure if I would love it as much.

And here is to hoping we find some happiness in our careers someday. . Whether it be in the nursing field or something completely different...

Specializes in Certified Nursing Assistant.

Thank you for the original post.

I am having doubts about nursing school.

There is nothing I have ever wanted to "be" as far as a career is concerned. I am a CNA at a retirement home and I really like it. I do like math and science, math more.

You have helped me lock in my decision... for now:)

Thanks. Also, my son majored in music. He teaches voice lessons and does gigs with different bands. He is happy, so I'm happy. I'm glad you're doing what you want to do<3

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